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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is the school being unreasonable to leave my ds out because he lost his ticket?

204 replies

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 07/12/2011 17:04

Ds is 5 in reception. The school did a father christmas today, people dressed as elves came to the classroom to take the children to see father christmas who had come to see them in school and give them a small present. We paid for the tickets £2.
Ds lost his ticket today althoguh they did take a name list when we bought the ticket so they did know we had paid. So when it came to go all the other chikdren went and they kept my ds behind in he classroom so he didnt get to gi and didnt get his present, he still very much believes in father christmas and he was pretty upset about it - luckily when dh heard he suddenly found that father christmas had been to the house and left a present there (luckily i have shopped and wrapped already!). So ds is a little consoled but aibu to think thats a pretty shitty thing to do on behalf of he school. Yes he lost his ticket - but he is only in reception im sure they could have checked the list.

OP posts:
IloveJudgeJudy · 08/12/2011 10:13

I'm usually very supportive of schools and everything they do, but I cannot believe that this is how the head replied. She has no idea, does she? Agree that you should go up higher, now. Don't know what the form is, but you should. This should not be allowed to happen. And TWO children from 60 were told to stay behind! That is so unbelievably unkind that words fail me.

Everyone on this thread knows that it's not about the money, it's the principle of not leaving a very young child out of a big occasion in school.

Please, OP, for the sake of all children in that school, don't let this lie. Please do take it further and let us know how it goes.

IloveJudgeJudy · 08/12/2011 10:17

X posts. I think you should talk to the head, first and see what they say. If they back up the teacher then you know what kind of school your DC is in. Like some of the others, I feel that if the head does back the teacher then you should be very wary of this school.

Bramshott · 08/12/2011 10:18

Shock!! I thought this thread might be about a teenager who had missed out on something because of a lost ticket, but your DS is 5!! Words fail me . . .

maxybrown · 08/12/2011 10:21

well.....................I'm shocked. I have never ever worked in a school this heartless and crap, and I've worked under some not brilliantly nice heads! TBH, I wouldn't want my next 3 children passing through there! Heartless gits. I am no softy either! DH is a teacher and he would be fuming if this happened to DS.

My DS is in nursery (at school) and they are seeing FC next week at their party. We have all been told we are welcome to come along to watch them getting their present if we would like to, no charge at all

agedknees · 08/12/2011 10:26

So the teacher was quite happy to let 2 little children sit by themselves whilst everyone else trotted along to see FC?

Heartless cow.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2011 10:35

I think you should talk to the head teacher - as agedknees said, this teacher was happy to leave two sad children behind, whilst the rest went to see Father Christmas - and that is not acceptable. TBH, the head needs to think about what the school does when a parent cannot afford to pay for something like this - no child should have been excluded because their parents couldn't pay or because the school didn't have the lists to hand.

MunchkinsMumof2 · 08/12/2011 10:40

I think you should phone the Head and register your dismay and astonishment at your little boy's treatment. Of course it has nothing to do with the £2 but everything to do with fairness and inclusivity. They surely could have taken all the children regardless of tickets and then made up any shortfall with PTA money / asked the parents!! Please don't let this drop as I hate to think of that attitude becoming acceptable behaviour around little children.

pigletmania · 08/12/2011 10:48

No I would take this further, to the head, this is totally unacceptable, to leave 2 children out of 60. To give a 5 year old a ticket and expect them to keep hold of it. You have to do this out of principle, and to ensure that it never happens again to your ds or another child. As STDTG suggested, a letter to the head, the chairman of Governers. The teachers reaction is not on, I would call a meeting with the head, and write a letter.

pigletmania · 08/12/2011 10:49

That teacher should not be teaching young children, she is not suitable, she is happy to leave two sad children out of seeing FC.

Bramshott · 08/12/2011 10:50

Looking on the bright side, it sounds as though if your DS hadn't lost his ticket, his classmate would have been left the only one left behind Sad

TheFirstNoelChinchilla · 08/12/2011 10:51

Oh dear God, I read this yesterday with tears in my eyes (disclaimer-very pregnant) really hoping that there had been some sort of mix up...I'm now even more horrified and upset on the little girl's behalf as well as your DS'.

Why the hell were they running a ticket system for 5yr olds anyway?! And to think that the teacher thought it was about the £2....

It's actually things like this, not the 'how many got Level X at KS1', and so on, that make a school and that actually matter...and that you can't find out about until you're in there, sadly. Sounds OTT but I'd think about changing schools too- maybe see if you can speak to the Head first though, see if they get what the problem is, one last chance and all?

MabelLucyAttwell · 08/12/2011 10:57

There's always the local paper, too.

knockneedandknackered · 08/12/2011 11:00

Thats cruel [sad ] did you get your money back you should tell them that you thought it wasen't fair.

Maryz · 08/12/2011 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buttonmoon78 · 08/12/2011 11:08

I would be so angry if this happened to my ds.

Firstly, to exclude him from part of the school day - that's bad anyway. But to not cross reference a list? That's lazy. And expecting 5 year olds to look after a ticket? That's foolish.

DS is going to the magic show next Monday - well, he will if I ever remember to send in his money and consent form. When I said to his teacher that I keep forgetting she said - don't worry, I'm not bothered about the money anyway, it's the consent I really want (it's out of school hours so consent necessary).

Please don't let this go. Your poor ds Sad. I hope it hasn't spoiled the magic of FC for him.

BrianAndHisBalls · 08/12/2011 11:12

I would definitely speak to the head this is horrible.

Ive pm'd you, if you know the girls address send me a pm and i'll send her a present from santa.

MerylStrop · 08/12/2011 11:13

That's terrible.

Can't believe anyone working in a primary school would be so misguidedly thoughtless and jobsworth

In these straightened times I do think schools need to get a bit of a grip on all of the little paid for treats. Terrible to exclude the kids who've paid, just as terrible to exclude the kids for whose parent yet another two quid is just not possible.

FFS

diddl · 08/12/2011 11:14

I would also speak to the head.

It really is utter incompetence to not have something in place such that a 5yr old loses a ticket for the value of 2measlyGBP & is excluded.

Not to mention the heartlessness of the teacher & it all going over her uncaring head.

BrianAndHisBalls · 08/12/2011 11:14

also totally agree with Maryz re teacher paying the £4 herself.

Recently we were late to the Christmas school fete as there was a mix up with times and my dd was distraught as we weren't there to give her money for the tombola/games etc, the teacher gave her £2 to spend as she wished, dd is 6. As soon as we got there 5 mins later we paid the teacher back obviously but this would surely be a normal thing for a person to do? Not to bloody leave 2 children out of 60 out! Angry

gettingalifenow · 08/12/2011 11:18

Thats' an awful way for the teacher to behave - especially if there is a list of who has paid!

Is she always this horrible? I'd have serious concerns about her level of empathy and whether she's suited to looking after young children. She should be in a Dickens novel.

WorraLiberty · 08/12/2011 11:19

I too tend to think that a lot of school complaints threads are started by people being precious but this is certainly not the case here. In fact, this has made me both sad and angry in equal measures.

What sort of heartless adults supposedly working in a 'caring' profession would do this to children?

So the teacher didn't have the list? Well she should have bloody well gone and found it or took a 'risk' and believed the 2 kids left behind, did indeed have tickets Angry

SnapesMistressofMerriment · 08/12/2011 11:19

Speak to the head, that is awful.

Maryz · 08/12/2011 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WinterWonderlandIsComing · 08/12/2011 11:32

Wouldn't most of us here pay the four pounds out of our own money? When I was teaching I'd have gone without lunch if need be, especially considering all the nice presents I used to get from pupils.

Give her a lump of coal on the last day of term.

TheFrogs · 08/12/2011 11:34

That's afwul, made me teary Sad

Something similiar happened to me at school due to a mix up. I was absolutely gutted and (obviously) never forgot it!