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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is the school being unreasonable to leave my ds out because he lost his ticket?

204 replies

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 07/12/2011 17:04

Ds is 5 in reception. The school did a father christmas today, people dressed as elves came to the classroom to take the children to see father christmas who had come to see them in school and give them a small present. We paid for the tickets £2.
Ds lost his ticket today althoguh they did take a name list when we bought the ticket so they did know we had paid. So when it came to go all the other chikdren went and they kept my ds behind in he classroom so he didnt get to gi and didnt get his present, he still very much believes in father christmas and he was pretty upset about it - luckily when dh heard he suddenly found that father christmas had been to the house and left a present there (luckily i have shopped and wrapped already!). So ds is a little consoled but aibu to think thats a pretty shitty thing to do on behalf of he school. Yes he lost his ticket - but he is only in reception im sure they could have checked the list.

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 07/12/2011 17:54

Miserable sods...

DeWe · 07/12/2011 17:56

Our PTA almost always goes by the list method as they've had too many times when parents have either tried to con their way in or genuinely lost the ticket.

However I think it's dreadful to have that sort of thing in school hours. Really great for the FC believers. X's parent didn't pay for kind FC left him out. Shock

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/12/2011 17:56

Like another poster, I thought this was going to be an older child who'd lost his ticket for something outside school (like a theatre, where even if you know he's paid - ie you have the receipt - the theatre won't let them in without a ticket), and I could have understood that, though it would have been sad for the child.

But to exclude a 5 year old from something organised by the school, where they know he's paid, just because he'd lost the ticket, is absolutely unacceptable, and I would be furious with them. Tbh, I'd want Santa to come back to the school and deliver his present to him in person! And an apology from the Head and the class teacher. Ohhh I am fuming on your behalf and your ds's behalf.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 07/12/2011 17:57

That is outrageousShock

Poor little boy.....5 years old.....I have no idea what the hell they were thinking!

WhoopsyLa · 07/12/2011 18:03

Give them hell! how AWFUL! No excuses....don't let them get way with it...they need to make sure it never happens again.

I worked in the shop at a zoo as a student and we often had kids on trips who had lost their pocket money and EVERY teacher replaced their money out of their own purses....who would let a little child go without like that??

AlmaWalkingInAWinterWonderland · 07/12/2011 18:03

YANBU. I'd be furious, how mean :(

Figgyroll · 07/12/2011 18:11

OP, your post has upset me. How mean of the school. Xmas Sad I work as a TA in a Year 1 class and next week Father Christmas will be visiting ALL keystage 1 children, in their classes and EVERY child will be given a present (an age-appropriate good quality book purchased from PTA funds and profits from our book fair). I just can't bear the thought of your little chappie having to stay behind in the classroom while the others went to the hall.

Please go in tomorrow and complain.

Sudaname · 07/12/2011 18:22

Reminds me of when my (now adult) DS was at primary school and there was one little boy in his class who was always dressed in hand me downs and too small clothes etc and one day their teacher noticed it was his birthday on her class birthday list and asked him what he got and he said 'nothing' Sad and he didnt even know it was his birthday Sad Sad. She went out at lunchtime and bought him a little truck in a box - out of her own pocket - and because even in those days that was slightly non pc for a teacher to do she gave it wrapped to my son to give to him for his birthday. l remember having tears in my eyes as she explained to me when l picked up my son. A lovely lovely teacher and l think its safe to say had she been in charge of your DSs class there is no way he would have been left out. Do you ever think some people are in the wrong job - l mean to leave a few children out would be bad enough but at least they wouldnt feel alone in their marginalisation but one child out - thats disgusting. Give em hell !

melodyangel · 07/12/2011 18:25

Your poor DS. I can't imagine how he must have felt. I can see no good reason for him being left out.

Give them hell tomorrow OP.

hocuspontas · 07/12/2011 18:32

DId he tell his teacher that he had lost his ticket? If your ds didn't say anything and the 'elves' were just taking tickets no one would necessarily be checking against a list. Sad

HumanFly · 07/12/2011 18:34

Awwww how horrible for your son to see all the other kids being led out of the room by elves...how mean-spirited and precious the school are!

I remember once at school, I think infants or at least early primary, we went to the beach for a teddy bear's picnic. Only I brought my beloved big rabbit and subsequently wasn't allowed off the coach to join in the picnic. So...just...don't even have the words, for that really!

If that were my child (when I eventually have one!), I'd be going into full MamaBear mode the way my mum did when she found out! Little kids don't understand petty bureaucracy like that - how could they? He's five - he would only have understood it as being punished for losing his ticket :(

pigletmania · 07/12/2011 18:58

oh no humanfly some people should not be teachers. That would never happen at dd school, they are lovely there.

pigletmania · 07/12/2011 18:58

what did your mum say to them human

mummymccar · 07/12/2011 18:59

Your poor DS! Until recently I was a TA and I can assure you we would never have left him out. I'd complain to the school.

exoticfruits · 07/12/2011 19:05

As a teacher I can't understand why they even had a system where he comes to some-either he comes to everyone or not at all.

LittleDonkeyhadaMadHairDay · 07/12/2011 19:10

That's just incredibly mean. YANBU. I would be complaining. :(

MeltedAdventCalendarChocolates · 07/12/2011 19:12

as everyone else has said that is horrible. Your poor DS. I hope you give em what for OP!!

TheCrackFox · 07/12/2011 19:12

YANBU

What a bunch of mean wankers.

sheepgomeep · 07/12/2011 19:13

our school leaves out the kids who's parents who don't/can't pay. It happened to my dd last year, I hate our early years team. Bunch of idiots Angry

your poor ds Sad

Pixieonthemoor · 07/12/2011 19:18

Utterly gobsmacked!! This sort of thing brings out the lioness in me - I would be going in tomorrow and read the riot act! They had the list - why oh why on earth couldn't they cast their eye over it to confirm payment?? Absolutely disgusting. Do let us know what possible excuse they come up with. Your poor, poor little boy Xmas Sad

marriedandwreathedinholly · 07/12/2011 19:20

I would not be able to trust myself to discuss this with the teacher or the head. For me it would be set out in writing with a request for a full written explanation.

Ineedchristmascake · 07/12/2011 19:22

OMG, this sounds sooo much like the school Dd3 used to go to Xmas Sad.

Your poor little boyXmas Sad.

BeerTricksPotter · 07/12/2011 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Acanthus · 07/12/2011 19:27

I agree that this is awful, but please please don't let your DS overhear either of you asking school about it. You do need to ask, but not in his hearing. He might remember it just as much as he remembers being left out and it sounds as though e is ok about that now.

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful · 07/12/2011 19:30

How awful Sad Your poor ds. I really hope the school sort something out for him.

I'm still mildly annoyed that my dd's FC visit cost me £9 Shock Why they couldn't have walked to the local town centre (five minutes away) and done the thing for free I have no idea. I hope none of my dd's classmates were left out because they couldn't pay. This was just days after they'd asked for £12 for the pantomime.