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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think my daughter should be made to use a changing room..

435 replies

hairnets · 04/12/2011 22:34

When getting changed after swimming with her Dad?

He told me today that she received a telling off ("major roasting" were his words) for refusing to use her own changing room after he took her swimming. He felt that it wasn't appropriate for her to get changed out in the open because there were other men about in the room.

She's 5.

I obviously think he's BU and I know exactly why I do but interested in what others think before I bang on about why he's BU - If that makes any sense!!

OP posts:
jasper · 04/12/2011 22:37

he's bu

BlissfulMistletoe · 04/12/2011 22:37

tbh i don't think a 5 year old should be left alone to change after swimming, at that age they still need supervision

littleducks · 04/12/2011 22:37

I think that a 5 yar old should get changed where she is told to after swimming and should be told off for refusing.

lisaro · 04/12/2011 22:38

I think he's right. She's a bit older than a toddler and it could also have been a bit awkward for some of the men. But why didn't he share a changing room with her?

OldGreyWassailTest · 04/12/2011 22:38

He was not being very fair, was he? However, this is an ongoing problem at a lot of swimming pools, and it was thus the same ever for me and my son (and he is now 27 so that will tell you how long ago it was).

GlitterySkulls · 04/12/2011 22:39

i don't think he is bu- any child should be in a changing room out of public view- apart from the fact anyone could be watching, a lot of people just aren't comfortable around other peoples naked children, or might feel awkward getting changed in front of kids.

HeidiKat · 04/12/2011 22:40

Was this a pool with open, single sex changing rooms and she was in the men's with her dad and refused to go into the ladies to change alone? If so YANBU, 5 is still quite young to go and change on her own, if there was a problem with not being able to get the locker open or something she would probably get quite stressed and upset. Usually children up to 8 years old are allowed in the opposite changing room.

squeakytoy · 04/12/2011 22:43

5 is a bit young to expect a child to dry and dress themselves quickly. Do you mean a cubicle in the changing rooms her dad was in, or go on her own into the ladies?

YANBU if he meant for her to go into the ladies on her own, but if he meant in a cubicle in the mens room rather than the communal part, then he was right.

NatashaBee · 04/12/2011 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlitterySkulls · 04/12/2011 22:46

i may have misunderstood- i took it to mean her dad wanted her to go into a cubicle within the mens changing room- in which case, my previous post stands.

if however, he was trying to send her into the ladies on her own, then you are absolutely in the right.

SantasENormaSnob · 04/12/2011 22:48

I think your dh is right.

Original poster
hairnets · 04/12/2011 22:48

Wow, can't believe these responses! So, if (and I pray we never have to find out) she is raped when she's 16 and wearing a short skirt or low cut top, how do we tell her it wasn't her fault if at 5 years old she is responsible for covering up her naked body because we all know that men can't help themselves when faced with naked children and/ or women..?

Bizarre.

She's a baby, the fact it even crossed his mind that people would see her as anything else is frankly pretty sick IMO.

OP posts:
Pantofino · 04/12/2011 22:49

I don't understand - WHO gave her "major roasting"?

Original poster
hairnets · 04/12/2011 22:49

Just to clarify, she was in the men's with him and he wanted her to use her own cubicle. She hates using the cubicle because she doesn't like small spaces.

OP posts:
littleducks · 04/12/2011 22:50

I was assuming a cubicle too, due to the 'out in the open' comment. I wouldnt send a 5yr old into the opposite sex changing room, would be very awkward if they got stuck somehow and I had to go and help

Original poster
hairnets · 04/12/2011 22:50

pantofin her Dad did. IN the changing room. In front of all the suspected pedos and molestors.

OP posts:
Maleeka · 04/12/2011 22:51

If it was a cubicle in the mens changing room then sorry yabu. But if this is the case then i do wonder why he wouldnt just go into the cubicle with her?

If he meant for her to go into the ladies changing room on her own, then i think she is too young.

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2011 22:51

Oh don't be silly you're the one reading too much into this and coming to a sick conclusion.

Her dad should take her into a cubicle imo because it's not very nice for the little girl to have to see strange men's dicks and arses when they are getting dressed and dried.

And quite frankly, the men would probably feel just as uncomfortable.

littleducks · 04/12/2011 22:51

Last post was x post, does she use public toilet cubicles?

squeakytoy · 04/12/2011 22:51

hairnets, how the fucking hell did rape and short skirts come into this.... Confused

Pantofino · 04/12/2011 22:51

What has being raped to do with a 5 yo getting changed after swimmiing? Hysterical or whaT!

Original poster
hairnets · 04/12/2011 22:52

norma, he's not my DH. Thank god. ALthough he is father to my daughter which I suppose is even worse Blush

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 04/12/2011 22:52

Id never allow a five year old out of my sight let alone send her into a different changing room altogether, but I would have took her into a changing cubicle myself as to be honest you don't want to give a nasty man something to look at and wank over at home if he is that way inclined.

Pantofino · 04/12/2011 22:53

Well your dh is an arse then!

GlitterySkulls · 04/12/2011 22:53

no-one said that Confused