AIBU to think it's odd and sad for children to call their parents by their first names?

[madonnawhore]

One of my friends has always called her mum by her first name, not 'mum'. And her brother's DCs call him and his wife by their first names too.

I think this is a real shame. Whenever I'm with them and I see the little boy tugging on his dad's sleeve and saying 'Jeff! Jeff!'* to get his dad's attention, I just feel there's something wrong with that picture.

Not sure how you can be a parent and not want to hear your children call you 'mum' or 'dad'.

What do other people think about this?

*not his real name, obviously.

My dd has called me by my first name on occasion and I really don't like it! She is my only and I like being her 'mummy' my friend always called her parents by their names and I found it weird even as a child!

I haven't read all the posts as I am doing dinner, but my 3yo DD often calls me by my name, as we are foster carers and refer to ourselves by name (instead of "mummy says") to our foster children.

I would hate to think anyone thought less of me for that!

Curlyhaired Assassin - My DD1 is adopted, and her experiences are the reason she will never call me mum. It's not often the case that older children are desperately waiting. The only true love my DD knew was from her foster mum, and DD called her by her first name. She associates first names with love and care, and the word 'mum' with abuse. Which is why I am happy to be 'Lilka' to her

Lilka :)

Lilka, That's totally understandable in your daughter's case. I know not all adoption cases are the same, Particularly with older children. I think it's probably just the younger children that I've seen on tv documentaries that I was thinking of really who did seem to be desperately wanting to belong in a loving permanent family with someone they can call mum.

Your daughter is lucky to have a mum like you at last, whatever name she calls you.

YABU, and it is a bit sad. There are many different ways of being a family. The labels people choose within their own family are their business.

My younger sister has always been called Sid. My best friend's son calls his biological father Lex & his 'other dad' Tomas. None of these bear any relation to what the people concerned are actually called, it's a question of habit/usage. I might refer to my DS as Victoria if I had to in a very formal setting, but to me she's Sid. So long as my DSs don't call me Mum or Mom (boak) I'm not so fussed.

I love being "mummy" even though they are now 17 & 20 but I simply cannot abide the word "mum" They tend to call me "Mamaski" if they are in fear of being embarrassed by "mummy"

My DH always used his parents's first names for two reasons:

1. Every mum in the shop (except his usually) responded to "Mummy" but she knew he meant her when he called her actual name;
2. His mum insisted on being "Mummy" rather than "Mum" (too common ) and he got to the age when it just wasn't cool to say "Mummy."

Worked well for me as I never had to worry about what to call them (first names, Mr & Mrs, etc).

haha, I don't even like dd1 (3.5) calling me Mum and insist on Mummy until she's older! To me it's really special - my children have their own name the will use for me and only for me. I can't imagine calling my parents anything other than mum and dad and I'm 29!

I'm 'M(uuuu)um', unless the Dss can't get my attention , and then it's "MAAAARGE" ! very loudly.

Mine use my first name.

When I was 14 started calling my parents by their first names. It just happended one day, can't recll why. decades later I still do it, feel odd saying 'Mum' even in mothers day card I put her first name. Though once DD was born Grandma is used a lot more. I wouldn't answer my DD if she choose to do what I did. My parents have never commented on it to me as to whether they like it or not.

My DH calls his parents by their first names, don't know what age this started. DP's eldest boy since the age of about 12 has called his dad by his first name, and no-one has commneted as far as I know.

My daughter calls me Mummy and my first name. It's never occurred to me to feel sad when she calls me first name though, there are far bigger things in the world to worry about.

My LO (nearly 4) calls us Mum/Mummy & Dad/Daddy and uses this when speaking to other people about us but also quite often will call us by our names if he's talking about the other one doing something such as he'll say to me 'Chris asked if you wou'd like a cup of tea' etc....we never pick him up on it, it just makes us chuckle and sounds quite cute! He totally views himself as on the equal footing to everyone else; grown ups included, so I think it's just an extension of that and not a sign of disrespect IMHO

DS is ten now. He started calling us by our first names three years ago and never looked back. I think it is because he is an only child, he is quite grown up, spends a lot of time with us, and wants to be at equal terms, like if we were three good friends. That doesn't mean he disrespects us in any way. In fact he is nicer and more respectful to us than all of his friends to their "mums" and "dads". We are a family. Nothing wrong with our picture. It is not sad. It is not a shame. Names don't mean a thing. Actions are what counts.

My name has a hyphen in it so its a bit hard, if she could say it Id be well impressed. That said, I would be sad if she started using any version of it. I think I might feel I was either at fault in her eyes (like your mum calling you by your full name rather than your family nickname - e.g. Victoria than Vicks). There is something so warm and lovely about a mum/mama/mummy that there isn't in a name.

I agree its a bit sad in some ways that my dd will never really know me as a person just mummy as if I was born at age Xodd but thats whats supposed to happen. But hopefully one day she will ask me questions, like I now do of my parents of them as if they were people not just parents.