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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fussy eaters!!

195 replies

skybluepearl · 27/11/2011 23:05

What do you do when fussy eaters come for tea?

My 8 year olds best friend hates everything I cook. And I mean everything - jacket potaotoe with cheese and salad, sausage cassarole, roast chicken, fish pie, spag bol, thi green curry etc. He's such a lovely lovely lovely child but a complete pain to feed.

I will take note of my own kids food dislikes if I can see they really hate something (swede for example) and up till now I have been just cooking our usual family meals - which he picks at then leaves (last visit he left the family meal completely - I then gave him beans on toast to keep him going).

So should I be cooking him a special meal for one or should I be giving my whole family pizza on the nights he visits (so we can all eat the same) or should I just continue as I am - offering my normal family meals to him? He does visit lots and i want him to feel welcolme. I also have to think about my own family though and would rather cook and eat something nice. Pizza is fine here and there but not all the time.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/11/2011 23:09

Surely he doesn't just eat pizza?

Ask his mum for other suggestions

Fiolondon · 27/11/2011 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picnicbasketcase · 27/11/2011 23:11

Pizza can't be the only thing he eats. Have you spoken to his parents to make them aware that he refuses everything you offer him? They might be able to suggest some meals you haven't tried yet.

Original poster
skybluepearl · 27/11/2011 23:11

pasta parcels was what she suggested - he left them though

OP posts:
Fiolondon · 27/11/2011 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 27/11/2011 23:13

I'd ask her for a more detailed list or just avoid asking him around at meal times

For the record, I'm a totally non fussy eater and even I would only eat two of the things in your OP...roast chicken and spag bol.

Original poster
skybluepearl · 27/11/2011 23:13

I'll ask her for more suggestions. I just want him to be happy visiting and not dreading my cooking. Maybe he has a smaller appitite too?

OP posts:
TheElvesSawBatgirlKissingSanta · 27/11/2011 23:13

Is pizza all he eats?
Could you ask his mum if she could give you an idea of what to cook when he comes over?
If she tells you something he likes then you know that hes just being a major pain in the bum if he doesnt eat it when you make it.
If I was in you situation then I would do the above, if its still a no go then I would tell his mum that you cant have him over to tea anymore . That may make him think 'maybe ill give it a go'.
Does your dc ever go to theirs for tea? what do they eat there?

Fiolondon · 27/11/2011 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
skybluepearl · 27/11/2011 23:16

thanks Fiolondon.

what do you girls cook when you have kiddie guests?

OP posts:
omaoma · 27/11/2011 23:18

you've mentioned such a wide variety of foodstuffs there i can't believe it's about your cooking! it's about food and possibly, anxiety about eating with people who aren't family/away from home? does he have this problem when he visits other houses?

i would ask his mum for advice eg, does he prefer plain things/without sauces, any specific ingredients he can't stomach or loves eg ketchup, - but i wouldn't get hung up on trying to replicate foods, it's possible that unless things are EXACTLY the way he's used to at home he will refuse them anyway (like the pasta parcels). i would continue to cook something my family would like but trying to avoid things you know he hates, have a filler like bread and butter/breadsticks on the table so he can nibble and not feel left out of the meal, and then stop worrying about it.

justabigdisco · 27/11/2011 23:19

WorraLiberty I think that pretty much does make you a fussy eater....

troisgarcons · 27/11/2011 23:20

what do you girls cook when you have kiddie guests?

They get whats put infront of them. The eat or go hungry.

snice · 27/11/2011 23:20

I was just thinking the same justa

Original poster
skybluepearl · 27/11/2011 23:22

Loving the bionic eye!

My boy mostly eats pizza, oat cakes, fruit and pasta dishes at friends house I think. Will need to ask for more detail. I think it's quite hard for the mum as the family have different allergies/dislikes.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/11/2011 23:22

I would pre arrange with his mum that he would be around at feeding time, but not "officially invited"..

I would then feed my kids what they would normally eat, and see if he looks at it.. if he does, I would say "do you want to try it".. if he doesnt.. then just leave it and let him go home to eat.

ScatterChasse · 27/11/2011 23:24

I'd come for tea at your house!

Most of those are quite 'wet' though, I just wonder if he'd prefer something like fishcakes or a pork chop or sausages with mash and veg, with a bit more shape. (Sorry, that's so badly described!)

Or could you do a 'party tea'? I know it's a bit more work, but if you did bread and butter, and had out salad, some ham, cheese, vegetable sticks and perhaps crisps or breadsticks, he might 'pick' a bit more?

BaronessBomburst · 27/11/2011 23:25

Sorry Worra but I too frowned, was confused and then had to reread the OP. You are a fussy eater!

Original poster
skybluepearl · 27/11/2011 23:29

some good point made here - cheers. i have to go to bed now but will read up tomorrow.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/11/2011 23:33

Not liking jacket potaoto, sausage casserole, thai green curry or fish pie makes me a fussy eater? Confused

Actually, if the OP had added 'liver' she would have scored a full house in the only foods I don't like Grin

Other than those, I'll eat pretty much anything Grin

StopRainingPlease · 27/11/2011 23:34

Maybe I'm a meanie but I'd just not invite him for meals, only at other times. If we have a visitor I do try to incorporate their likes or dislikes, but I certainly wouldn't be cooking him a special meal. If he's as difficult as this he wouldn't be welcome at mealtimes. It's not your job to deal with his fussy eating.

WilsonFrickett · 27/11/2011 23:35

My boy is an incredibly fussy eater (SN) and for that reason I try to avoid having him on visits at meal times. Beans on toast is his usual stand-by if someone is kind enough to cook him something 'special' but i would NEVER expect it. I would more plan that he'd be starving and be prepared to give him a late tea at home.

If its about social/anxiety type issues then it doesn't really matter what you make tbh so there's little point in you worrying about it and trying to find the 'magic' food. I usually suggest friends have bread on the table, that way I know he'll at least eat something.

Andrewofgg · 27/11/2011 23:41

Spot on troisgarcons. That's all there is is a complete sentence and one even a young child can understand.

MartyrStewart · 27/11/2011 23:47

I'm with TroisGarcons - although I make an exception when my niece is round because my sister would be on my back GrinBlush

What I do for her is do a load of tapas type dishes and just leave them to help themselves. If she only eats garlic bread, then so be it.

LineRunnerSaturnalia · 28/11/2011 00:00

I can always be relied upon to shove a tiny frozen pizza in the oven my DD's best friend, as that is what she will eat. It really isn't a big deal. They are teenagers. I like seeing them smile and relax.

Is it different for 8 year olds? Do we have to force them more?