Fussy eaters!!

[skybluepearl]

What do you do when fussy eaters come for tea?

My 8 year olds best friend hates everything I cook. And I mean everything - jacket potaotoe with cheese and salad, sausage cassarole, roast chicken, fish pie, spag bol, thi green curry etc. He's such a lovely lovely lovely child but a complete pain to feed.

I will take note of my own kids food dislikes if I can see they really hate something (swede for example) and up till now I have been just cooking our usual family meals - which he picks at then leaves (last visit he left the family meal completely - I then gave him beans on toast to keep him going).

So should I be cooking him a special meal for one or should I be giving my whole family pizza on the nights he visits (so we can all eat the same) or should I just continue as I am - offering my normal family meals to him? He does visit lots and i want him to feel welcolme. I also have to think about my own family though and would rather cook and eat something nice. Pizza is fine here and there but not all the time.

Actually Mawbroon your post last night did give me pause for thought - DS has suspected tongue tie as a baby and I nearly got him snipped but then we resolved the bfing issue so I didn't bother in the end.

Thanks for the thread boschy - good idea. I shall pop over right now :)

MawBroon my can't-eat-normal-food DS has a pronounced tongue tie as does my (non fussy) older son. It makes me wonder actually and I may ask him about running his tongue around his mouth later. Thanks for that tip.

Christine - any of this soundfamiliar?

Poor sleep
nightmares
gastric trouble
allergies
speech trouble
constant tiredness
hyper behaviour
bed wetting
anxiety

to name but a few things linked with high palates, which can be caused by tongue tie

mawbroom that's fascinating! so how did you figure out he was tongue tied, if he didn't have speech problems?

Laura - the food on teeth is one issue, but also, if the tongue cannot move properly, certain foods will be difficult to manoeuver around the mouth. It can cause gagging with certain textures

That's interesting, I dont think my DD has tongue tie - but she is going to have jaw surgery when she is 18. I have vaguely associated a possible link with eating problems, but there doesnt seem to be any real evidence. Hmmm

MsBrian - as i learned more about breastfeeding, I looked back on it when he was a baby and thought, gosh, classic tt symptoms, but dismissed it because all seemed normal.

Then I read this about the connection between tongue tie and gastric probs.

Then I realised his tongue tie has prob caused his high palate and high palate leads to sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea leads to lack of oxygen which can cause all manner of problems - many of which I see in ds1

DS has sleep apnea - always has done for as long as I can remember (that's when they stop breathing for a bit, right?)

Right, must go and collect him from school but am loathe to leave this interesting conversation! He has a friend coming over for tea ironically :o

Christine, or anyone else interested in this - feel free to PM me

Another fussy eater here!
When I used to go to friends houses as a child, I only ate bread and butter.
I'm happy to see lots of posters that understand what a fussy child goes through when given something they can't eat.
I can remember as a child that if I point blank refused to try something at home, I would get a 'Well, that sounds about right' kind of response but if I did try something and didn't like it I got 'Why don't you like it? You like x component, what's wrong with it?' They always seemed more cross when I didn't like it- sure they didn't mean to but that's how it felt.
Another sign was if my mum was cooking she knew I didn't/wouldn't like and I asked her what it was, there would a pause and a 'You'll like it..'
PLEASE eat-it-or-starve brigade, know that some people will take this literally! I would quite happily go without food for a period of time as a child-makes me so cross when you get that 'Well they'll eat eventually!'
I read one comment on the SN boards about a fussy eater, can't remember it exactly but a doctor saying 'Principles aren't important, it's calories- get that child some chocolate!'

Agree with ohdear, DS is fussy but when we had a P1 check up I listed the foods he ate and the doctor was perfectly happy that whilst he didn't enjoy a wide variety of things he was meeting all his nutritional needs ( luckily he is fond of raw carrots and is better on vegetables than he is on meat)

Just wondering - and I don't suppose anyone here knows the answer to this - whether you get fussy eaters in countries/times when food is short. During the war, say, or in the third world, did/do you get kids who won't eat perfectly good food because they don't like it?

Only anecdotal evidence but my uncle refused to eat during the war which upset my gran so much she shoved his face into his dinner :(. He would only eat raw carrots and potatoes (a lot like DS) and in the end, that's what she gave him rather than wasting decent meat on him

If I lived in a 3rd world country, then DS would have been stillborn so it's a bit of a moot point.

The key issue that DS struggles with is variety. He is happy with the same narrow sets of food presented to them in the way that he likes. So I guess in a situation where food was short variety wouldn't have been a particular issue so perhaps less fussy children as less different types of food around.

Interesting what you say about your uncle christine as I hate this mindset that fussy eaters have only developed in this current generation, my cousin was a nightmare when young and my Aunt is certainly no nonsense, but he lived on tinned meatballs for about 5 years as he just refused to eat anything else and was a skinny child.

rookie - yes, it blows the theory that fussy eaters are only around because they are over-indulged out of the water a bit doesn't it?

Christine - I think also the older generation tend to forget that they had fussy eaters.
At Christmas a couple of years ago my aunt sat all cat bum faced whilst DS had a melt down over Christmas dinner, yet I clearly remember in my childhood her son coming to ours for Christmas and being served the horrid tinned meatballs by my Mum. As a child I was aghast how on earth could anyone not like Christmas dinner, but here we are, breaks my heart sometimes that DS is missing out on a lovely selection of food stuff, but there we go.

Just don't do tea, get the child collected before. I have found that even if you try to cook exactly what the child likes eg pasta with plain tomato sauce, there is still SOMETHING wrong with it, eg too many tomato bits or pasta the wrong shape!!! Or just 'it doesn't look like my mum's' and therefore don't like it.

I have an agreement with one parent that as soon as there is any fussiness, I can call them and they will have a chat to their kid to say 'just get on and eat it because mum/day will be cross otherwise if you waste the food.'

Otherwise, offer something that is generally liked eg fish fingers and it they don't eat it - TOUGH! and no pudding either.

I have sent kids home hungry, they will soon learn! It's not your problem.

ah, MrsTruper is still clearly waiting for the Damascene Conversion...