To think my DH won't actually need 24 hours "bedrest" after a vasectomy

[libbyssister]

I mean, REALLY?! I don't remember bedrest after the birth of any of our 3 DC. Is there any medical reason for this? He's shown me the letter from the clinic and it's there in black and white. But I find it hard to believe....

Are you serious? Christ, you're all heart, aren't you. I feel sorry for your husband!

FGS she is not saying he shouldn't REST, she is saying does it have to be BEDrest, ie not getting out of bed at all except to go to the loo and not even then if it can be avoided.

IME "Bedrest" used to be prescribed for women thought to be in imminent danger of miscarriage or people with medical disorders such that they could drop dead if they exerted themselves in the slightest (serious heart conditions etc).

"Rest and lack of major physical exertion" is, in my view, worlds apart from "Bedrest."

If there was a rule which decreed:

Time to wait before sex after vasectomy = time spent on bedrest after vasectomy x 10

. . . then I suspect most men would vault out of bed after 20 minutes.

I gave my hubby the 48 hrs total rest we had been advised, took the children out and let him 'heal'. A week later he ended up in slot of pain, to quote the GP ' I have never seen balls as big as these, this is why I would never have this done!' It took months for hubby to fully heal and in hindsight I don't think we would go through all that again, memories of a weekend away ending up in buying sanitary towels to mop up blood and goodness knows what are far too prominent!
Please don't underestimate the enormity of this procedure!

DH was a bit sore and sorry for himself, but he drove 4 hours to see me the next day (had a general anasthetic so couldnt drive for 24 hours) and was back in the saddle after 36 hours or so.

Having said that, Im the 3 hour labour person Maryz mentioned, so maybe we should have our own cartoon superhero series...

Oh for goodness sake get him some tight dadpants though.

DH got a bus back from the hospital after his vasectomy and was back in work the next day. Guess he was one of the lucky ones.

He needs to rest, it's not the best place to have an operation and move around lots after. It must be better to rest and heal, than carry on and end up with complications. I've had a few ops in my time. Let him have the op, feel a bit sorry for himself, and see how it goes. who wants stitches coming undone and infection.

My dp had bed rest on the sofa downstairs (he'd had the op whilst he had a lump removed from the same region, so it was more painful than usual). It was painful to walk to the toilet, or make a cuppa but he could do it. He rested downstairs and still interacted with us all, he didn't have to bedridden upstairs with a bedpan on demand. We told the kids to be aware and be calm around him, he could still hear the read tho.

Flippin eck I don't know where to start...

I might have been flippant about this, but I'm staggered by the name calling, that I'm a nasty, selfish cow, a resentful, heartless fuckwit

For the record... I compared the need for bedrest after this procedure to my experience of the recovery after childbirth because they both involve pain, swelling and brusing to the genitals, they both involve (in my case) an injection of local anaesthetic to the nether regions. And are painful when sitting/walking for days afterwards etc. No health professional suggested to me that I needed bedrest so as BalloonSlayer says, I was just surprised that it's a requirement after a vasectomy.

I love my DH so much, we ARE a team. I care for him and he cares for me and we look after each other every day. And I will be caring for him next week. There are lots of worst case scenarios on here but hopefully all will be straightforward and maybe DH won't feel the need to stay in bed, who knows.

I have shown DH this thread and we laughed a lot at all the bitching name-calling and insults. He couldn't believe that people would post such vile comments, about how he should leave me, how I don't love him, what an awful person and wife I am.

But MrsJamin we both found your post disturbing, that you looked me up, found a previous post about my health and used it to mock me. My spinal surgery was part of the "battering" my body has taken. Neither my DH nor I would ever compare the relatively short-term recovery for a 15-min minor operation to months and months of agony where I could barely walk, never sit, and took high doses of co-codamol constantly just to get through the day while looking after a 3 year old and breastfeeding a newborn. And neither should you. After 3 days in hospital I went to my parents' house for 5 days (not 2 jeffing weeks!) as I wasn't allowed to lift even a kettle let alone my 6 mo. And I couldn't trust myself at home not to just get on with things. Shut up, you know nothing about it.

The good thing about this post (and I have managed to find some positives to take away, amazingly) is that my DH is also taking the op a bit more seriously, now. You all falsely assumed that he wants to languish in bed when in fact he's arranged meetings 36 h post op as he figured he'll feel fine. It's good to be aware that he might have to take a bit longer to recover. And the best thing is that we had belly laughs over the nastiest comments from the vipers. You know who you are.

Thanks for the supportive comments though, fingers (and testicles ) crossed, all will be well.

Has he ever had to have 24 hrs bed rest before? He may actually find it really difficult :)
I think bedrest is maybe abit att tho, i agree. But I guess the doctors have to think worst case as even they wont know what his recovery will be like.

Hope all goes smoothly and he recovers quickly.

Thanks southstar, that's what DH thinks, reckons he'll get bored (smile)

Duh square parentheses!

I don't think crossing testicles is advisable after a vasectomy. I'm not a professional I've just got a feeling about it.

Do think so of the responses were a little hysterical (especially the one were the OP's DH should leave her . Just because she's suprised that 24hr bedrest is advised.

If my DH were to have the procedure I'd want to know why it required 24hrs bed rest (as I'd take it as being confined horizontally in bed for 24hrs) as I had less for heart surgery!!

Good luck libbysister and mr libbysister, hope you are as healthy as my DH was lol (see earlier 10 hour miracle man recovery)!

I might have been flippant about this, but I'm staggered by the name calling, that I'm a nasty, selfish cow, a resentful, heartless fuckwit

Well, in defence of all the posters, if you write stuff like:

my body may have been 'built' for childbirth but I also had holes cut into my nether regions, had a forceps delivery, a ventouse delivery and also I had something the "the size of a melon" exit my vagina. 3 bloody times!! and not once was I in bed for a day afterwards.

I mean, I don't expect him to be clearing the gutters or repainting the living room but lying in bed? For a whole day?

I think he was expecting a quiet day to himself but now we've found out that the school is shut for industrial action and the house will be filled with rampaging young boys. Ah well, it's bed rest, that doesn't mean sleep, right?

And......

As you can tell, I'm not adopting the attitude that he's some kind of hero for agreeing to have this procedure. I love him to bits but my body has taken a battering over the last decade and it's his turn to take the hit!

And then, after generally aghast reactions to the above ....

He'll get his bedrest. We'll follow the guidelines. I've done it before, when he had an appendectomy. I was 7 months pregnant with DS3 and made sure he got a couple of weeks bed resT

And flounce...

Right, well, I'll be off to 'Health' in that case...

......you shouldn't be surprised at the reaction you got IMO. It certainly didn't look like flippancy at the time, it looked like "ishoos" to a lot of people tbh.

HTH, as they say. And good luck to your DH.

What whatme said. And good luck to your DH.

My dh was very stoical and went to London for work two days afterwards. The lifting of suitcase, walking and up and down on trains and tube really hurt him and in retrospect he should have had a day or two of total rest. OP - I've had three children too and the Bayeux tapestry has less stitching work than my undercarriage. I am please you are acknowledging the impact this op will have on your dh.

I read this thread earlier and I too thought you sounded very dismissive about a vasectomy OP.
It doesn't take Einstein to work out that an invasive procedure on very delicate tissue will result in pain and discomfort. The size of the incision/GA etc. is all irrelevant.
You can backpedal all you like - you gave the impression that you thought the bedrest advice was ridiculous and unnecessary.
My DH (who is a very active up-and-at-'em type of person) was very uncomfortable for a good few days afterwards.
And, oddly enough, I insisted he took heed of the medical advice to rest up. Because we aren't medically qualified and assumed the doctors knew best.

Just to let you know that DH has had the vasectomy, had his 24 hours bedrest and is now taking it easy.

In the waiting room at the hospital, the men were talking about all the different ways they had removed hair from their testicles and ALL the women were telling them that they had nothing to moan about as they had had all the babies and this was nothing in comparison. I kept quiet and just thought they'd better not go on mumsnet saying that...

Glad it went well now you can get on with the 'clearing' part of the mission..

Don't think he'll be 'clearing' for a couple of days yet

Think you should put yourself on 24 hours of bedrest to prepare for the impending clearing then..