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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH won't actually need 24 hours "bedrest" after a vasectomy

196 replies

libbyssister · 24/11/2011 23:22

I mean, REALLY?! I don't remember bedrest after the birth of any of our 3 DC. Is there any medical reason for this? He's shown me the letter from the clinic and it's there in black and white. But I find it hard to believe....

OP posts:
OTheHugeMjanatee · 25/11/2011 13:20

Jeez, OP, your DH will have just had someone slice open the most tender part of his anatomy and prod around inside with a red-hot prodding thing! Give the poor sod a break, it's only 24 hours.

Sidge I had just had lunch when I read your remark about 'rummaging', and feel quite queasy now Confused

HeadfirstForHalos · 25/11/2011 13:24

YABVU. If my dh had it done I would be happy for him to have a day in bed whether he needed it or not.

But then he gave the dc dinner when he got hom from work yesterday, did their reading with them, got them washed, in their pjs and in bed, all while I had a long nap due to feeling rotten (totm).

Just show him a little care!

Maryz · 25/11/2011 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NormanTebbit · 25/11/2011 13:31

DP decided he would go to work straight after his vasectomy Grin FIL ( who had had one) stepped in and offered to drive him home after op. good thing too. DP was in terrible pain for two days after. Give your DH a break.

You might want to warn him though - they will be told to ejaculate to clear things through. DP was alone when doing this and produced copious amounts of blood, the sight of which made him vomit and traumatised.

All fine now though

McPie · 25/11/2011 13:36

My Dh is booked in for his in march and its the week before his birthday which he is off on holiday for so he has taken two extra days before it off. I dont care if they say 24 hours bed rest my Dh will not have to do a single thing for the whole time he is off. He is doing this for the both of us and I will do as much as I can to help him out and that includes feeding him tea, painkillers and when needed as well as picking up all the things he does for me in the house.
I feel sorry for your Dh as it doesn't sound like you are fully on board with his op if you are mumping about a single days rest. I dont care if I have had two c-sections, one for prem twins, pain is not a competition I am just glad that I will never need to consider contraception or birth again as I am hormone sensitive.
You should be relieved that he is even willing to do this for you both as there are many men who would refuse to even consider it.

MrsJamin · 25/11/2011 13:41

I am loving the irony of what the OP writes on a recent post about having back surgery:

libbyssister Thu 24-Nov-11 19:08:59
Well I'm 2.5 years post-op now, and it was an instant recovery really. Went under GA in pain and woke up pain free smile I wasn't supposed to pick up anything heavy for at least 2 weeks so went to my mum's to recover (leaving my 2 DSs (4 y and 6mo) at home with DH.

So you left your DH with 2 young children for 2 weeks by himself even though the advice was just "don't lift anything heavy", you weren't in pain and the advice was not even bedrest?! Confused

Catsu · 25/11/2011 13:48

I think everyone is jumping on the OP here and being a bit mean!
She didn't say she begrudges her dh the bedrest or that she will refuse to let him rest, she just showed her surprise that bedrest was required after a minor procedure like that!
My dh is just about to have the same procedure. We haven't had all the info etc through yet and I would have been surprised to read 24 hr bedrest too.
Reading through all the stories I can now see why bedrest is needed but it doesn't make me (or OP) mean for not realising that before!!

It sounds also like the OP's dh is imagining the op to be very minor and is gleefully planning his 24 hrs of rest 'because the letter says I have to' and this may be winding the OP up iyswim!
I'm sure as soon as he has the op done, the OP will help him rest as much as he needs based on how he is feeling/recovering!

Tenebrist · 25/11/2011 13:50

The real issue here seems not to be whether your DH needs the 24 hour bed rest (because he clearly does), but the fact that didn't get a day's rest with any of your DC. Why ever not? What was preventing you having time in bed after the first DC? Was it your DH's attitude back then that's leading to to your 'out of bed and stop malingering' attitude now?

FantasticVoyage · 25/11/2011 13:58

@NormanTebbit Fri 25-Nov-11 13:31:50

You might want to warn him though - they will be told to ejaculate to clear things through. DP was alone when doing this and produced copious amounts of blood, the sight of which made him vomit and traumatised.

All fine now though

As if the verb 'rummaging' wasn't enough Shock

jandymaccomesback · 25/11/2011 14:45

You are. He will.

FontSnob · 25/11/2011 15:10

Yabu. Let the poor man rest his achey balls!

Shutupanddrive · 25/11/2011 15:18

Yabu and mean

WhatAboutMeMeMe · 25/11/2011 15:53

i rested for 7 days after all my children

I suspect the doctor is marginally more qualified to decide than some folk on the internet. hmm

oh now you are being plain ridiculous Grin

uniCorny · 25/11/2011 15:58

my ds did the school run after his. We're Northern though

WibblyBibble · 25/11/2011 16:04

I'm sorry but the people attacking the OP are the sexists here. If women are to be expected to go through the huge physical damage and pain of childbirth, then actually vasectomy is not a big deal at all, comparatively. It's also not cutting into the testicles, just the scrotum, which is just flappy skin. It's not even vaguely near as potentially dangerous as childbirth or caesarian. I think if the letter says bed-rest, he should take it, but I am just sick of women being expected to take all the pain and suffering and never complain but be sympathetic to men who deal with far less. Also, no, childbirth as it currently is is not something women are 'made for', and no, no one tells women they have a high probability of some quack hacking at their vagina with blunt scissors during labour. If OP's partner was supportive of her after childbirth, he can now reap the rewards of karma. If he wasn't, frankly he can fuck right off and have his testicles swell up as much as womens' perineums do.

bemybebe · 25/11/2011 16:07

angry much wibbly? Confused

SardineQueen · 25/11/2011 16:09

YABU

And I wasn't up and about 24 hours after giving birth - I really don't understand that. If you felt up to doing stuff, great. If you didn't then you shouldn't have.

hardboiledpossum · 25/11/2011 16:10

I stayed in bed for about a week after giving birth, it was lovely.

WorraLiberty · 25/11/2011 16:10

Women are not to be 'expected' to 'go through the huge physical damage and pain of childbirth'.....it's their choice and it's not like their DH's can say "Oh here love, let me give birth for you this time" Hmm

bemybebe · 25/11/2011 16:17

I am in bed feeling sorry for myself with morning sickness. I also had a very traumatic first pregnancy with cervical incompetence, which is likely to reoccur this time also and was already told I would have to "take it very easy" for further 7 months. (dd was born at 24weeks and died 23 days later)
My dh is absolutely amazing, does anything I cannot do around the house and does not even mention that i am "out of action" in more ways than one... We are a team and I thought this is what team mates do for each other.

Whatmeworry · 25/11/2011 16:19

It's also not cutting into the testicles, just the scrotum, which is just flappy skin

There is another thread arguing that a similar slicing of mens bitz is abuse! Is a Vascetomy therefore also abuse?

Wibbly, sounds like you have some ishoos....

WorraLiberty · 25/11/2011 16:21

Well if the Vascetomy was forced upon someone without their permission, then yes of course it would be Lol.

MincePieFlavouredVoidka · 25/11/2011 16:23

My DH was in bed for three days.

We dont do competitive illness in this house - its so tiring.

BalloonSlayer · 25/11/2011 16:23

"It's not a competition"

Of course it bloody is! Grin

I'd say he needs to rest but not necessarily in bed.

The day after DH had his done, we were having a new washing machine delivered. DH decided to unplumb the old one without turning the water off. Yes. The pillock. Then we couldn't get the door to the cupboard open to turn the water off as he had pulled the washing machine out, and couldn't get it back in again, so it was blocking the door. Yes. I know! It's like being married to Frank Spencer. So DH spent quite a lot of time in the 24 hours post-vasectomy lugging washing machines around in a complete and mounting panic. He also had to cope with a flooded kitchen and a contemptuous wife. He and his sore bollocks were absolutely fine. And it's just as well he already had a pain in the nuts as I'd have felt like administering one after that carry-on.

Bearskinwoolies · 25/11/2011 16:25

My dh has had a vasectomy - he had it done on a friday afternoon, about 4ish. We were out clubbing later that night and he had no ill effects whatsoever.