Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH won't actually need 24 hours "bedrest" after a vasectomy

196 replies

libbyssister · 24/11/2011 23:22

I mean, REALLY?! I don't remember bedrest after the birth of any of our 3 DC. Is there any medical reason for this? He's shown me the letter from the clinic and it's there in black and white. But I find it hard to believe....

OP posts:
Kayano · 24/11/2011 23:52

It does now seem that the op is turning their two experiences into a competition... Sad who deserves the most bedrest. Jesus...

Pretty poor form

Original poster
libbyssister · 24/11/2011 23:57

He's having a local anaesthetic so is unlikely to be floored the way you are after a GA.

As you can tell, I'm not adopting the attitude that he's some kind of hero for agreeing to have this procedure. I love him to bits but my body has taken a battering over the last decade and it's his turn to take the hit!

OP posts:
JustRedbin · 24/11/2011 23:58

FFS He's doing this to prevent you going through childbirth again.

FredFredGeorge · 25/11/2011 00:00

As a man and having had genital surgery as an adult under general anasthetic I'd say YANBU to expect him to be up and about before, they said 24 hours for me, but I was fine within 6, walked back home from the hospital the same day no worries and didn't do anything unusual the rest of the day.

He's just looking for an excuse - of course if it hits him badly then maybe he will, but he shouldn't be deciding it now before actually having the surgery.

WorraLiberty · 25/11/2011 00:01

He's taking the hit

How about showing him some of that love you have for him?

Kayano · 25/11/2011 00:03

Fred he just showed her a letter with advice on from the GP. I dont see why the drama/ competitiveness over 24 hours?

manticlimactic · 25/11/2011 00:03

God it's ONE DAY. You may not have rested for 24 hours after you squeezed something the size of a melon out of your vagina but you could have told your husband you were going to rest. I mean, he wouldn't have disagreed with you what with him being such a wimp, would he? Hmm

Original poster
libbyssister · 25/11/2011 00:04

He'll get his bedrest. We'll follow the guidelines. I've done it before, when he had an appendectomy. I was 7 months pregnant with DS3 and made sure he got a couple of weeks bedrest. Just figured this was a minor procedure in comparison to that!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 25/11/2011 00:07

Yes compared to that it is a minor procedure but do you not understand how horrible and uncaring you are coming across here?

Perhaps it's because your'e typing but bloody hell you sound so hard hearted and competitive.

canyou · 25/11/2011 00:08

Ok my men are wimps was a joke
OP seriously did you pop out a baby and continue on as normal? Did you go to work, make a dinner, tidy the house, sort laundry, look after anyone other then yourself and your new born?
Every one deserves a day off once in a while esp if they are going to have surgery.

Peapodmamma · 25/11/2011 00:08

My hubby had a vasectomy nearly 3 weeks ago and got a wound infection. The surgeon went in through the base of the shaft and not the scrotum, and left about an inch horizontal cut, which was stitched too tightly, rather like a duffle bag!!! Ouch! In fact even though the stitches are still in (until tomorrow as the doc wants them out), the wound is not healing well and he is in some pain. He's got another weeks worth of antibiotics so we will see how things are then......we are not happy and one of the Docs told him 'lets get things into perspective, its not that bad!' Yeah right, as if he'd be happy with an oozing gaping infection in his meat and two veg! Mind u it's the best contraceptive ever as I won't go near it!!

Original poster
libbyssister · 25/11/2011 00:11

Thanks Fred - gives me some hope.

It not a drama Kayano, or competitiveness. I'll bring him a cup of tea and a biscuit. Not sure I'm serving meals on a tray or anything tho' Hmm

And lucky me, half of that time will be overnight....

OP posts:
bemybebe · 25/11/2011 00:13

You and your dh are clearly "a team" OP. Good luck for the future... Hmm

mintchocchick · 25/11/2011 00:13

My DH has this op planned for December and we had to have an appointment with the nurse together before booking it to go through the details.

It was made clear he'd need 48hrs not doing much. So I booked my parents to have both kids for two nights so we can both enjoy a bit of quiet time. I just need to get a good book lined up and we will be set!

I'd say indulge him a bit - why not? He's more likely to indulge you the next time you're feeling poorly if you've made a fuss of him.

By the way, did they tell you the bit about all the sex you need to have once he's recovered? Apparently to clear the sperm from the tubes you need to have lots of sex in the weeks after - the nurse gave us 40 free condoms!

EverybodysScaryEyed · 25/11/2011 00:14

Wow you're mean

Is it really such a big deal that he has 24 hrs in bed (as you say, half of which overnight)? What is going to go so disastrously wrong in those 24 hours?

I'm baffled by your attitude - it's 24 hours, not 24 days. Give the guy a break

Original poster
libbyssister · 25/11/2011 00:18

I'm not telling him about that peapod! Sounds awful...

canyou I have 3 DSs so after the second there wasn't much time to be resting. You just get on with it don't you.

I'm not horrible, uncaring, hard-hearted or competitive worraliberty

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 25/11/2011 00:20

And I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt by saying perhaps that's just the way you're coming across 'in type' so to speak.

Read back though, a bit of TLC and kindness doesn't got a miss when a loved one is poorly for any reason.

Original poster
libbyssister · 25/11/2011 00:20

Or mean everybody

And thanks bemybebe we are a team, nearly 20 years together. I think our future's looking just fine.

OP posts:
FredFredGeorge · 25/11/2011 00:21

kayano Sure it could be the case that he is - all sorts of surgery hit people differently and the standard letters always err on the side of more rest (even if that's not medically sensible oddly but I think that's because people tend to ignore it anyway) I was just wanting to stress that it's actually more likely not to be an issue than one.

Kayano · 25/11/2011 00:24

You do seriously need to reassess how you post/ come across on a forum then, because clearly its not just 1 poster taking you the wrong way.

And here... Have this back Hmm it belongs to you

bemybebe · 25/11/2011 00:24

Are you sure? I would not tell from your OP. Team members help each other out. "20 years together" means nothing, go to the relationship section to read some stories there about "20 years together"...

GColdtimer · 25/11/2011 00:25

I would be surprised if you didn't need a day of bed-rest.after such a procedure Hmm

AnxiousElephant · 25/11/2011 00:27

Yes he needs to take it easy because like most operations where there are cuts there is a risk of internal bleeding, swelling in the scrotum etc. Bed rest not necessarily.

Original poster
libbyssister · 25/11/2011 00:30

mint that sounds very sensible. I can't organize the same thing. My parents are in NZ are DH won't even tell his parents that he's having the op. I know that there's another "taking it easy" 24 h after the bedrest 24 h so will be expecting that.

And yes he has told me with great glee that he will have to "clear the tubes" often. Although that doesn't all have to be with me as I understand it Wink

OP posts:
MsCellophane · 25/11/2011 00:32

Poor sod, 24 hours of doing nothing isn't a big ask

and I bet for 24 hours after your births you didn't do much - most people are in hospital for 6 hours minimum after aren't they? I had mine years ago and did 2 days. Sitting feeding and a few nappy changes

Give the bloke a break and let him rest up - even for a couple of days, he is having his balls cut into!