To think my DH won't actually need 24 hours "bedrest" after a vasectomy

[libbyssister]

I mean, REALLY?! I don't remember bedrest after the birth of any of our 3 DC. Is there any medical reason for this? He's shown me the letter from the clinic and it's there in black and white. But I find it hard to believe....

How on both sides?
OP has been given medical advice from the clinic and finds it hard to believe.
He should book himself into a hotel for a while. With room service.

I'm just struggling to understand how it's not possible to give the poor chap 24 hours in bed. He's hardly taking liberties.

And no bed rest after your kids - WTF, are you real?

What are you holding onto from the pregnancies and the childbirth that you haven't forgiven him for?
Do you feel he let you down in some way while you were pregnant and after childbirth? (Or do you tend to be something of a martyr?)

He isn't making it up to get out of household duties. The clinic have stated this is what is required. Perhaps you feel that your DH was not helpful or sympathetic enough to you after the birth of your DC, that could well be the case. However I can't imagine it is a pleasant operation for a bloke so just give him his tea on a tray and tuck him in for one night, it's hardly a life sentence.

I find it hard to believe why someone wouldn't spend the day in bed after having a baby. Most women do, don't they?

YABU, if I were you I'd be encouraging him to take bedrest so he heals properly. I spent 7 days in bed after birth of my baby, I needed the rest, so I'm not sure how you managed without it. Why are you trying to avoid him resting anyway? It seems quite uncaring. Is it revenge for him not doing his fair share when you gave birth or something?

Loving you OP - you are actually making me look good

Crikey. I am astounded at how heartless the OP is. I am a health care professional, there is varying advice from different health authorities on the amount of rest needed following a vasectomy but the minimum is 24hours.
Different men will recover in different ways from this invasive surgery (to delicate structures with a very sharp metallic instrument !!).
Some men recover quickly and will be able to resume their normal activities soon after, others may take a little while longer while some unfortunate few suffer complications and take a long time to get better.

When I had mine done 18 months ago I got home following surgery and felt fine, prancing around the house doing the washing and started to make tea, my wife was at work, then the local wore off and the pain kicked in, cue one day sat on the sofa. Then an infection and swelling, immense bruising and one week off work. My BIL one day off work and then wakeboarding the next day.

We are all individuals and we all recover in different ways, wait till the op and see how he is, give him 24hours rest and then see how he is. Be compassionate FFS.

You do sound a bit of a cow. I'm very unsympathetic to my dh when he is 'unwell' and wants to take to his bed for the sniffles but if we are I'll we look after each other. If he was having an operation he'd get his bedrest, it's on medical advice fgs!

You should have rested if you needed. Your martyrdom doesn't mean he should have to ignore medical advice. Can you reall see no reason he might need a break? I would have thought you'd have more sympathy after childbirth, not be so heartless.

I love him to bits but my body has taken a battering over the last decade and it's his turn to take the hit
?!!
You sound like a real pain in the *** OP.
It's not a competition.
What will you do when he's evened up the score card a bit?

OP, did you maybe feel your DH didn't take good enough care of you after your births? I know that I try to be sympathetic to my DH when he's ill but it's hard to let go of the feelings of being abandoned after my CS.

In theory, yes, he should get 24 hours TLC. Hopefully he has taken good care of you in the past.

Mintchoc- the 'clearing of the tubes' part is the main selling point for my Dh agreeing to have it done after dc4 arrives (am nearly 38 weeks)

Op yabu why don't you take the kids off somewhere for the day and leave him at home with some food drinks & uninterrupted access to the tv?

As it's strike day surely you have friends in the same situation ?

Dh had it done about 18 months ago. The advice was to take it easy for 48 hours, avoid any physically strenuous activity for a week (and in his case, stay off his bike for 2 weeks). He ended up moving a dishwasher 3 days after the op and riding his bike after 10 days. He was in serious pain for 6 months after the op and still had "twinges" up to 12 months after it.

DH had a vasectomy last year. He didn't stay in bed for a whole 24 hrs, but if he was up he was lounging on the sofa. It hurt, you know? Big, black bollocks, bruising to the tummy and thighs, shooting pains from the testicles etc. In fact, he wasn't in work for 5 days because sitting in one position and wearing trousers was very uncomfortable. He wasn't pain free for three weeks. I called the surgeon because all of the bumf said 'a few days mild discomfort' and the poor man was grey. Know what he said? 'Yeah, it's normal to take up to a month for all pain/swelling to go'. Even now he will get the odd bollock twinge. It's one day, ffs. I spent 3 sodding months in bed during both pregnancies and would have been deeply pissed off if DH had complained tbh.

Five weeks after wer a c section, I am still in a bit of pain. I imagine that the anasetic and cutting involved in a vasectomy are similar, with similar impact. Sounds like 24 hours is very conservative.

My uncle had the op and was working the next day. DH had the op, fainted during, had to rest afterwards before I could take him home. He really suffered and suffered with infections at various times afterwards. he hasn't had an infection now for a couple of years, but the op was 13 years ago now and he still feels twinges (a bit like my CS scars).

Have to agree with the others. You don't sound very caring, OP. It's an unnecessary procedure and he's having it done for both of you. I should think of that, if I were you.

YABU, I feel sorry for your DH.

I'm sure OP will get her own back on her husband's post-surgery bed rest at some point in the future

Actually come to think of it, the operation might not go ahead due to the strike.

He will need to take it a bit easy, let him have a day in bed. Mu husband looked like he had had a huge kicking in the bollocks after his vasectomy and was clearly in quite a bit of pain for about 10-14 days. When he broke his leg he was laughing and joking so I know he wouldn't have made a fuss for attention. He needed rest and was very uncomfortable. He couldn't wear anything apart from tracksuit bottoms for at least a week. Not sure why people are recounting their birth experiences. If he had an appendectomy you wouldn't be comparing it to childbirth.

YABU. It is harder to get rest after having a baby when you have other DC but thats what paternity leave and TV is for. You also get a beautiful baby to take your mind off things, all DH will get is swollen testicles.

Why don't you get done yourself then you can have the bedrest?

My dh was off work for 2 weeks afterwards with an infection and had to spend a lot of time in bed afterwards as it made him feel so rotten.

Just because it is done under local rather than GA doesn't mean it doesn't make you feel rough after, they do knee replacements under local these days - I expect you feel pretty rough still!