AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

[theprodigaldaughter]

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

Veh forrin young hully. I'm Seffrican. Arrived on these fair shores over a decade ago and still think the whole country's a headcase.

money hasn't bought you any grace op.

i have next to nothing and i wouldn't even dream of being jealous of you.

If indeed you are now wealthy enough then yes, I think tax should be higher. Like Germany's 50% - a country NOT in recession.

The gap between rich and poor is the highest it's ever been - you may not think of yourself as 'privileged' because of where you've come from but you are now.

You appear to have lost a sense of social responsibility, which is sad.

Sarasidle has a very good point.

It is your smugness that annoys people.

"We wouldn't worry nearly as much about what others though of us, if we recognise how seldom they do."
Paulo Coelho

Like

Money can't buy you claaassss! Love from the Countess.x

Sorry, but you either being paranoid, or theres something else to dislike about you or more too it

Are you really finding people despise you just for the reasons you state IF that is genuine I can only presume you are either flash with it or perhaps have moved back to the area you grew up & theres a lot of envy around you :(

if the later then you ned to find new friends or move

You appear to have lost a sense of social responsibility

really?

OP said ""I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves....But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves."

so social responsibility is to pay for someone who is capable but has done nothing to better themselves? what about the other persons responsibility?

the only thing I can find in the OP to despise is the crap grammar.

In particular this sentence
"Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. "

It should read "Both my husband and I come from a rough northern town"

All the money in the world means nothing if you can't compose a sentence properly.

I would have to agree that if you post about money you can get snarky comments.
My fav was when a poster said I shouldn't be allowed to buy things from charity shops

But firstly I think you can post anything and you will get an totally arsey response from the 1% nutty frothers.
Also there are some threads, private schools comes to mind, where you get a section of vociferous poster who will be vile regardless of what you post. But that is true if you post about benefits or disability or state schools or anything else.

So seeing wealth as a particular section open to abuse is simply seeing the world only from your own narrow perspective. And tbh if you post to an 'audience' which will include people with not much and are wondering if they can pay the gas bill, that you can't decide between Prada or Bottega Veneta for this seasons handbag, then a few will throw shit at you.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think you should get shit thrown. But I think it is easier to bear the shit comments whilst looking at your £1,000 handbag.

And there are some competitive misery fuckers. But it's a big forum

HURRAH for the OP!!

not really

i think i know why you're not welcomed, and it's nothing to do with your money. probably more to do with the fact you think your way is 'the' way to live

I don't understand your point about begrudging paying a penny of your taxes to others. Surely if you have no income you don't actually pay taxes?

OP, most people are happy to pay taxes to cover the cost of healthcare and other important services for people like you, who have no wage.

Part of living in a decent society is the tax system financially supporting people like you who have primary caring responsibilities. I don't care what your husband does, or if you even have one.

no.

It's not working hard and about doing well for yourself. That's to be roundly applauded.

It's the tone of self congratulation that accompanies it that's despicable. success = hard work and a bit of luck. If you ignore the 'luck' aspect you come accross as a bit smug, and seem to be implying that anyone who's struggling aren't as hard working/innately 'superior' as you.

Lots of people work very very hard but it just doesn't come together for them. Though they deserve success just as much s the next hard-worker.

Pagwatch Thu 24-Nov-11 12:21:31
nutty frothers.

the thing is, if everyone 'bettered' themselves, whose gonna empty the bins/clean for/serve the rich?

You need a working class for society to continue to function. Until the NMW is raised to a livable level the working class will always need support to live.

Not everyone can get a high powered, high paid job. It doesn't work like that.

OP, you have proved your point!

Pag - have you got a handbag what cost a faaasand paaaands?

nickelbabe that is a horrible thing to say.

Are the uneducated not welcome here on MN? Or how about them forriners? Or people with LD?

Need only the middle classes with degrees apply? No one elses opinion worthy?

I don't despise you OP. I really want to be your special Mumsnet friend and if it went well perhaps you and DH could adopt me and I could come and live at your lovely house.

Perhaps in time you might learn to love me even more than your real children.

In the meantime can you lend me a few quid?

I've been on here a while now and I can't say I have noticed anything like the negative attitude the OP mentions.

I think you're mixing with the wrong people OP

I don't give a shiny shite what other people's incomes are and I'm sure you'll find there are many other people who don't either.

I'd love a handbag which cost a thousand pounds - with another thousand pounds in it.

Threads like this are great for getting the very best out of MNtters. Some super-witty wit on here everyone. You've made me Have a