AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

[theprodigaldaughter]

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

Fucking Northerners. They should all be shot.

"But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves. " Now that is quite a good reason to dislike you just a little teeny bit. There are a million reasons why some people achieve more than other people from the same background - it doesn't mean they are lazy fuckers who can't be arsed.

Anyway I am not a 'guy' and I don't despise you. I think you are overstating the case just a tad. And suggesting that this society despises the wealthy is laughable.

how vair amusing

I could probably tick every box you do apart from the independent schools and I'm not a stay at home mum. But dh pays 40% tax, we have nice cars, nice holidays, enough money, our own home.

I've never felt despised, either on here or in real life.

"But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves"

Here we go people...Saddle up for the usual Bunfight At The MN Corral!

YEE HAH!

All this comes across as a combination of "entitled" and "massive chip on shoulder". I don't begrudge success but I do think that it should come with some sort of social conscience and certainly, it is majorly poor taste to gloat about possessions. However they have been acquired. What is wrong about suggesting that those who have most could, perhaps, attempt to redress the balance slightly? If necessary by paying a little more tax, perhaps.

To suggest that you are being invited to "give up the air that you breathe" is as ridiculous as it is unrealistic. As is the suggestion that the rest of the users of MN "despise you" and it occurs to me that, to use one of my grandmother's favoured expressions, you may be in grave danger of thinking that you are "body every self".

Oh and you sound like a paranoid twat.

Ps: in case you haven't noticed most on here want everyone off benefits...not on them.

I agree there is a real attitude of begrudgement towards anyone who has any amount of money on mn.

only competitive poverty is allowed.

I think it is jealousy, pure and simple.

Perhaps because you're wallowing in self pity and are not just generalising, but prejudging thousands of people you don't know, based on a website they are subscribed to. Both are rather unpleasant qualities.

Can you link to a few examples on here, please? Not sure I know what you mean.

OP same here. Some people will always feel hard done by and there's nothing you can do about it.

I hold my head nice and high and think that green is a most unattractive colour.

However, if you come from a 'privileged' background and have done well, are you worthy of less respect?

Is this a thread about a thread?

Any links to back all this up op?

I wonder if the OP can link to any thread which shows an overwhelming vitriol toward individuals who do not come from privileged backgrounds who have bettered themselves and are now high earners? Because I knock around these parts every waking minute now and then and I can honestly say I've never felt that to be the prevailing attitude.

OP, a lot of people are jealous of what you have achieved, that's all.

If you are there saying that you had few opportunities but that you worked hard and made a success of yourself, it is harder for other people who are lazy to convince people that they can't do the same.

Some people like to wallow in self pity. It is easier for people to feel that they are entitled to help from the state than it is to work their arses off. They like to complain that there is little opportunity, when the truth is that they can't be bothered to look for it or create it for themselves. People feel that the state has as much, if not more, responsibility to look after them as they have to themselves. You are an easy target for jealousy.

I agree, it's a British thing.

You should be aware by now that this thread was never going to go well, and I expect to be flamed just as much as you now.

x post with er... post

Success should come with 'some form of social conscious'. Seriously?!

I am in a faibtly similar situation to you. None of the uni education you talk about but doing alright after very poor beginnings.
I don't get the responses you talk about.

In fact i am a 'much loved poster'

But, the posting you describe as hate are not. If you have a privelgedged life you should make sure you are appreciative of your luck. You should empathise with those around you. You should be fucking grateful and turn that gratitude into means by which you actively contribute to your community and those who need support. Well I think you should.

The rule in here is not that you get roundly swiped at if you have spare cash. You get roundly swiped at if you are a bit up your own arse

i would say its more misery loves company.

MN = you can have a whinge. but dont boast.

Don't engage. Just the attention-seeker.

"Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little."

"I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves."

Maybe it is your political views that make people despise you? Here, as in real life, quite a lot of people subscribe to socialist ideas, support the welfare state etc and do not feel kindly disposed towards those who have diametrically opposed views.

I am surprised that this comes as a surprise to you TBH.

What pag said.

But then again she is 'much-loved poster'

I'm liking everything pagwatch said.