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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

511 replies

theprodigaldaughter · 24/11/2011 11:47

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 24/11/2011 12:08

are you writing an article, OP? this is such a strange line of enquiry otherwise...

TheRealTillyMinto · 24/11/2011 12:08

I kinda do think there is an atmosphere here on MN, that many posters do feel the need to denigrate anyone with money

i completely agree. why is this OP picked up for attention seeking? most MN users are wanting attention.

Posters constantly tell you that anything you've achieved is by way of luck... totally agree

GypsyMoth · 24/11/2011 12:09

Op, just remember, you are merely one post marital affair/redundancy/accident etc from your whole set up coming falling down!

Don't be too smug, some things money just can't buy

Theala · 24/11/2011 12:09

I don't hate the OP as I feel I have enough on my hands already, but now I'm worried that I might have that there Hypersensitive Narcissism thing. Shit. Hmm

GypsyMoth · 24/11/2011 12:09

*extra

ViviPru · 24/11/2011 12:09

If someone starts a "why is my life so shit - why can't I afford to buy a house - its society's fault" whinge-up, I would generally respond with a life's what you make it kind of lilt (along with some usually EXCELLENT practical advice ). But I suppose its because I don't then rave on and on about how I made my life so nose-rubbingly spiffing that I don't find myself on the end of the kind of negative response you claim to have had, OP.

AlpinePony · 24/11/2011 12:11

The reason you may feel disliked is because you got up and 'went' rather than spending your adult life whining about the lack of opportunities available in your home town. Your 'success' makes others examine their own attitudes/lives and its easier for them to demand the same than rise from their GFA's!

FellatioNelson · 24/11/2011 12:11

'OP i largely agree with you. but i think that makes 2 of us.'

Tilly that was hilarious. Grin

Catslikehats · 24/11/2011 12:11

Ah I see a few people got in there before me.

Anyway the opinion bears repeating: If you did get it first time I think the summation is you're a nob.

Ariesgirl · 24/11/2011 12:11

And how do you know that someone despises you in response to something you have written? Do you lengthily explain on each and every thread how you have dragged yourself out of the mud and are now considerably, considerably richer than yow on every post, before addressing the matter in hand?

If so, I think therein lies the issue.

AbsofCroissant · 24/11/2011 12:11

It's because the UK has a national case of "Tall Poppy Syndrome". Anyone who wants to improve their position in society, or has done so, is beaten down. For e.g. look at all the schtick the Middletons, the McCanns, the Beckhams get in the press. It's a society that can't cope with people bettering themselves. Maybe it's because of the ever present class system, e.g. going from "working" class to "middle" class is a betrayal of your true self or community, or its assumed that as soon as you go one rung up the ladder you're going to lord it over everyone else or that it was done at someone else's expense.

I don't get it. Thank farking goodness I'm a foreigner.

Catslikehats · 24/11/2011 12:11

obviously "didn't get it" gah!

kerrymumbles · 24/11/2011 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 24/11/2011 12:12

Cloning is your answer

Hullygully · 24/11/2011 12:12

Abs YOU IS FURRIN??

I never knew, what flavour are you?

takeonboard · 24/11/2011 12:12

I and most of my friends are in your position, but wouldn't agree with your post in any way. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE WOMAN - the reality is no one gives a shit about you, except you obviously!

And sarahsidles words could come true so watch out........

ViviPru · 24/11/2011 12:14

Hully I'm often asked by my clients if I would please clone myself. Pesky non-scalable business model. Was that boast-up enough for you, OP?

whattheactualjeff · 24/11/2011 12:14

I think you are a bit of a silly-billy! Your sense of your own superiority to others who have failed to 'better themselves' is graceless.

ChaoticAngel · 24/11/2011 12:14
OrmIrian · 24/11/2011 12:14

I think OP that the thing that is missing from your life is a little thing called compassion. You might have heard of it? it's quite useful when living in a human society. It's when you realise that other people have a more difficult time than you do and feel empathy and maybe try to do something about it. And generally refrain from getting cross (despite your nice life and oodles of dosh) and whingeing about how nasty everyone is to you, and how lazy abnd useless they are, and how mean expecting you to pay taxes etc.

Otherwise known as good manners.

ShirleyKnot · 24/11/2011 12:14

"how I made my life so nose-rubbingly spiffing" is a book I would totally read Vivi

wordfactory · 24/11/2011 12:15

Abs yes, yes, yes.

People like you to better yourself...but only so much.
MN is very very good at supporting the poor, but by God do they loathe it when them poor folks get themselves some money. Nouveau riche doncha know. No class.

ViviPru · 24/11/2011 12:15

I'm working on it, Shirley

saythatagain · 24/11/2011 12:15

Tis a bit of a stealth boast me thinks.

TheRealTillyMinto · 24/11/2011 12:16

FellatioNelson i am standing proud with my rich, bitrich sister! Grin

i did plan on keeping a running total but i really should be doing some work...

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