AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

[theprodigaldaughter]

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

I thought we didn't like people on benefits who want cah'nsl ah'ses?

I don't despise you, I feel strangely proud of what you have achieved even though I don't know you. Although tbh I don't think it really matters how much money/ many cars/ many children at eton you have it might be best not to shout about it as it's rather tasteless.

I would really really like to know what 'body every self' means though? I have googled to no avail.

Daily Mail journalist perchance?

Well, in any case; OP if you are legit, you might like to consider that nothing in life is permanent. Our family was doing very well whilst I was a child - several cars, large house, stables etc. Then the recession hit in the '80s and we lost it all. My mother was luckily a very determined woman and worked really hard to make sure us kids were fed and warm - not that we were dressed in designer labels, but that we were healthy and content.

It's amazing how quickly priorities can change. One day you might be less bothered about your fancy lifestyle and more focussed on how to feed your family that day. Then you'll be grateful for the tax/support system, I'm quite sure!

In the meantime, might I suggest you try and dust that chip off your shoulder? You obviously have some sort of paranoia...I'd agree with many other posters in that people probably dislike you due to your strange attitude than your possessions. Very odd!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere - I am afraid it is white with black checkerboard sticker down the sides. No pink :) There is a pink one locally though and there was one in the showroom when I went. There is currently a Gucci version available :)

I see what you mean OP.

Why the hell should 'the rich' be taxed more, when 'the rich' have worked like maniacs to get themselves out of a shitty situation and frankly contribute more than they should already

eaglewings: Paying everyone the same simply would never work. Why would someone go to university, get lots of debt, spend years studying and training - to get no more than if they didn't bother. Makes no sense. What about people who work where risk taking is required - why take a risk if you won't get the pay off afterwards, there'd be no reason too.

I don't envy people like the OP, in fact I feel a bit sorry for them. It sounds like you have prioritised money over many other things, which is your choice but I don't think is something to be envied or valued.

Personally I wouldn't have worked those kind of hours in my 20s and 30s or will indeed at any other time. I think if you do you are just making the macho working culture persist. If a job really requires you to be there 70 hours a week then it should be split into two jobs, at least- though I think if you are working ridiculous hours building up your own business that's different and understandable. I was a solicitor in the city and never worked more than 45 hours a week at any point (now I work for myself). I certainly wasn't going to spend all the fun years of my 20s stuck at work.

I would consider myself and the OP BLOODY LUCKY above anything else, I don't pat myself on the back and think people are lazy who haven't got as much money or who don't send their kids to private school. Being born in the UK is a massive trump card to start with. Becoming a solicitor in the city was pretty unheard of where I came from too and no-one in my family was university educated. But I had two loving and supportive parents and never struggled academically at school- again massive trump cards. Every single person is two shakes of a lamb's tail away from their lives going in a completely different direction.

It all boils down to fruit.

If its prewashed and sliced you are a top dollar guy.

meh

I'm in similar position as OP, but without the disdain for those worse off.

This thread has made me think...anyone remember LOTM?

What happened to her? She disappeared. did I miss a scandal? A fracas? A contretend? A ruck?

I don't hate you in fact I don't even know you, I couldn't care less, I am too busy with my own life to worry or think about yours, Could it be that all of this is in you head????
And piece of advise, stealth boast is never a good ideal, it alienates hell of lot of people.

Nobody here despises you because nobody here gives two shits about you.

HTH :)

Gosh it's YEARS since I've been on Mumsnet (literally!). Have a new posting name now. Anyway, to the OP. Without going into detail about my background, I can see some parallels here and there, although we're probably not as financially comfortable as you are. I have to say, you need to stop feeling fed up? angry? guilty? or whatever is the maelstrom of emotions that made you feel you needed to post as you did. We all share one thing: we're all going to die. Something happened to me recently which brought this stark fact to the absolute forefront of my mind. You need to stop worrying about all this and get on with your life.

MrsVoltar I was only thinking I haven't seen LOTM on anything recently.

Rather like the OP here she never made any acknowledgement of luck or good fortune, just incredible disdain for anybody less fortunate

Hula baby, there are people who will work because they like it. Some people like taking risks and will prefer a job where that is a part of it. Some people will go to University because they want to know more than they do, because they get massive personal reward from the achievement. Perhaps Uni would be cheaper/still free if only people who really wanted to add to the sum of human knowledge went there, instead of thousands of people who have no vocation, no real interest but can't think of anything else to do.

If everyone earnt the same amount, then no one would need to work more than 3 or 4 days a week, there'd be more job shares because no one would be chasing dosh as a prime reason for working.

I have often thought it would be a good idea, but know that there are far too many people around like the OP who measure their worth in terms of wealth, for it to ever happen.

OP, you're not interesting enough to despise. You're not even interesting enough to have an opinion on.
You obviously beg to differ.

i like working! why would i want to only do it 3-4 days per week?

I like "Norvern monkey made good" threads.

That's all.

Still going?

Jux - I just don't think it would ever work, adnd it wouldn't make for a strong economy. We need competition, and to do that we need people who will work towards risks and the likes. And although some people will do it for their own sake, most people do want financial rewards. Again, status of job titles will make some people want to go for promotions, but many wouldn't without that finincial reward.

Also, lot of people do enjoy working and wouldn't want to be part time.

To be honest OP what you have is down to sheer determination and a good bit of luck. There are many who knock their pan in and try to better themselves and get absolutely fucking nowhere. You have to admit if the shoe was on the other foot and you have worked so hard and had nothing to "show" for it then you'd be pissed off. There are many people in life like this. Boasting about how everything has turned out spiffing is not endearing in the slightest.
Most of Mumsnet love people who have made something of themselves. Like another poster said..nothing is forever and you could be on your arse again as fast lightening.
I don't think to brandish us all haters is the accurate.
I'm happy you've made something of yourself.
I hope it lasts.

You're almost certainly right, Hulababy, we're not really highly evolved animals are we?

Mind you, I'm not 100% sure that this need for competition is much more than a myth.

Harold Wilson knew that there would never again be such a thing as full employment. He wanted a 3 day working week and built lots of leisure centres so we had places to go and things to do in the other 4 days ( which would cement our sense of community as a bye-product) but we didn't like it and got rid of him.

I think he was a bit of a visionary.