AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

[theprodigaldaughter]

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

That pony's not mine, officer, no siree. No idea how it snuck in there.

Umm, TillyMinto, where did I say people should pay more tax than their full liability?

Oh and dh pays no tax ..and kids in private school

I fail on sahm though only 10 years..but then I am considerably younger than yaow

Macavity, Macavity, there's no on like Macavity,
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime--Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air--
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!

Oh - is OP back in a different form?

Jux then you are only talking about illegal tax reduction?

It's a tricky one though Jux. By using your money to better yourself at the expense of others, you could include us, in that we are looking to expand our current little buy to let empire of one . But our pension has performed poorly in relation to our earnings, and we need to take responsibility and do something about it, if we are not to be a burden on the state or on our children in old age. Of course there are others who will have no choice but accept state help in old age, and that may or may not be their fault, but I see no benefit in adding to that.

I am only too aware that we will be adding to the sad state of affairs for first time buyers by snaffling up houses to rent out, and that will include my children too, in the not too distant future - I know that. But we are just doing what we can to keep ourselves self-sufficient and comfortable, assuming we live to be 100 which is an unpalatable but realistic possibility.

Hopefully we will be able to help our kids out with their student debt, maybe help them onto the property ladder even, but the only thing I can guarantee is that if we do not invest what we have already accumulated so far in a creative and lucrative way, then for all that we have been a fairly high income couple in our working lives, we will be a fairly low income couple in retirement. And that will mean a cost to the state. If we cannot afford to keep up our private medical insurance in retirement it will be a cost to the state. If we have to do equity release on our home in order to live well, it will be a cost to the state when there is no equity left for care home fees.

Saving is irrelevent, unless you are a multi-millionaire. Savings alone will mean nothing in coming years if you are to have a decent quality of life and a comfortable retirement without any state input other than your basic state pension. Your savings will just get taken in payment for your care home fees, and they will be gone in the blink of an eye. And when they are gone your children will be expected to pay, or the state will.

Of course we could just continue to earn very well and massively downsize our standard of living, in order to save more. But that would mean we don't spend money on the things that keep others not as fortunate as ourselves in employment, in the here and now. We wouldn't be having 'more than we need' as you put it, but we wouldn't be contributing much to the economy either - we wouldn't be spreading the wealth so that others can benefit from the trickle effect. I dunno.

Well I come from an "undesirable background", went to a bog- standard comp, managed to go to uni, get a decent job and the t-shirt but I certainly don't look down on those who didn't and I don't feel as though anyone hates me for it.

Having grown up where I did I fully support my taxes paying for the welfare state because I've seen the realities of life on benefits rather than read about it in the DM.

Besides, I only have LOADS of money because I married a rather vulgar hrt paying builder with no G.C.S.E.s.

The muscles make up for the shame.

Tilly, dear, are you the OP?

DH has just rang to say that we have won £176m on Euro lottery! So I'm now considerably richer than all of yaow.
Just off to find a property.com to look for a castle with a 400m swimming school. And I didn't have to do any work!! And if you all despise me, I don't give a flying fuck.
D'you think Kate and Wills would accept an invite or would I be too nouveau?

Jux no. gonna answer teh question?

This is all a bit vulgar, don't you think OP? Would it have been terribly hard to just ignore the threads you find so offensive, as I am sure many people will ignore this one? Why the need for such great detail? It's all a bit desperate. I think it would be healthier to just be happy with your life and not worry about what other people are doing.

Wordsonapage my Tiffany is 'that silver shit'.

See? Can't even be a rich bitch properly.

Moral investment in one's own society.
Ethical consideration of one's effect on the world around one.

You might not that I railed principally about a society which allows loopholes so that people/businesses/corporations can avoid paying full tax.

You might also note that I was replying to the OP; if you want to put yourself in the loop you're most welcome to do so, but it's not my problem if you're feeling got at. What on earth do care what I think anyway? I haven't even read any of your posts except the two containing my name.

I wasn't feeling got at. I was trying to stimulate debate and provoke thought. Sorry. I won't happen again.

Don't worry fell...us Essex girls have to stick tooogevvver

nip over for the weekend and I'll show you the diamond park

[ runs in Jimmy Choo's]

It FFS. it won't happen again.

Made sense to me FellatioNelson.

Loadsamoney!!!!! I hope I won't become vulgar with my new found fortune. Anybody wanna come and see my castle?

I do not despise nor begrudge you anything.

BUT- regarding your comment " But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves,

Try spending a week helping out at 'The Kids Company' run by Camilla Batmanghelidjh and maybe you might start understanding just why it is that some people cannot better themselves.

Takes more than a rough school and poor parents to hamper potential. Maybe if your Mummy was a crackhead, your daddy had pissed off and you were beaten, fucked or chucked out by Mummy's customers; all events that have happened a LOT to Kids Co children, you might be a little wiser and compassionate.

The true wealth in life is a kind and compassionate heart.

And look at the psychological concept of resilience. Not everybody has the same psychological make up as you.

A person can appear to possess the amenities needed to better themselves but the reality may be hidden from you.

How would you know, truly, whether a person had 'the same start in life as you?'

Life is not that even nor that predictable. Or even that fair.

Turn your resentment or whatever it is on people like Petra and Tamara Ecclestone or Chloe Green. People with every advantage in life yet fail to achieve anything of any real moral value. Whose parents evade paying any taxes (or few). Benefit payments are a mere drop in the ocean in comparison.

And the argument about all the 'people' they keep in employment is hogswash.

CBA to trawl through the whole thread, just wanted to say YABU for using "you guys," I used to work with someone who said this constantly and it makes my teeth itch.

You are paranoid. Well done to you, sounds like you've created the lifestyle you want. Horses for courses- I don't feel the need to send my kids to private school, nor would I want to give up my own career entirely, but other than that, sounds like everything is fine and dandy. What's your problem op

What newspaper does op work for then?

jUX if you are talking to me, i am not feeling got at.... i like bun fighting.

AIBU is a debate, but if you dont want to, no problem.