AIBU to be stunned that school could have sent DS 4 YR home in this state???

[sponkle]

My DS who is 4 was extremely upset when I collected him at home time this afternoon.

He was unusually the last out (they have a policy of bringing the children to the door and sending them off to parents once they have checked they are there) The TA approached me and told me that he had become upset as they were lining up at the door to leave.

It is not at all like him to be upset at pick up time and so I was asking him what the matter was and giving him a cuddle. I smelled a funny smell and asked him if he had had an accident, he said No.

The TA told me he had stepped in something. The teacher then told me he had been fine all day but that he hadn't eaten his lunch. I asked him if he needed to go inside to go to the loo and he refused, telling me he just wanted to go home. I noticed he was walking strangely as we were walking home. He was still very upset.

When we got home it was apparent that he had had an accident, so I stripped him off and put him in the bath, at which point he lost it and was crying and shaking uncontrollably.

Poor thing had had diorreah and the combination of this and being wet had left his legs incredibly swollen and bleeding and weeping as it had macerated his skin. He couldn't sit in the bath or bear to get it wet.

He couldn't sit or lie down at all and once I had managed to calm him down and clean him up as best I could without touching it, which took some time, I called the surgery to speak to the nurse. She told me to put sudocrem on it which I did and give him some calpol. He didn't sit down all afternoon.

I tried to give him another bath before bed but it was too sore for him to sit, still weeping and oozing all the way down to his knees. He is asleep now in bed, even though lying down is very sore for him.

At no point did the school call me today. it was obvious he had had an accident. When I asked him when it happened he told me at lunchtime.

I am so upset that the school didn't notice, or at least if they did call me to come and either sort it out or collect him.

AIBU??? I feel like going to talk to the Head tomorrow. he will not be at school tomorrow as he cannot even get dressed, despite having had an upset tummy. This is his first accident at school, so it isn't as if it's a regular thinh that they are fed up with dealing with. Any comments???

sorry so long, just upset.

Thank you all for your lovely responses, I am crying thinking about it.

I did take a photo when I put him to bed, the swelling had gone down somewhat after the first load of sudocrem had had a chance to work, but I covered his dignity with my hand and in the picture it looks as though I am touching him even though my hand was nowhere near, the angle of the photo...just looks a bit..

Your poor DS. You do need to investigate. How is he now?

My Ds when he was 4 kept running to the toilet in Reception. One day he went 5 times and teacher said she thought he had diarrhea. It turns out that he hadn't actually been at all as he didn't know how to or didn't want to lock himself in the cubicle. I could have cried.

If he was wet and soiled, 3 hours in wet clothes is more than long enough to make his skin sore and chaffed. Also with diarrhoea it can be a bit acidic and burn the skin.
Poor wee man.

Your poor poor ds :( It makes me so sad thinking of him walking around like that all day. I hope he makes a quick recovery and you are able to have a lovely day off together tomorrow with lots of cuddles.

You definitely should complain in writing to the school and request a follow up meeting with the HT.

Your poor DS I hapo he feels better soon.
I think you should speak to the head

Oh, your poor DS. I have a DS in reception too and that sort of thing is totally unacceptable. Even if they'd had regular accidents, I'd still expect them to clean him up, regardless of whether or not they were tired of it.

A big treat for him tomorrow and an appointment with the head won't go amiss. I know they're not really meant to investigate if the child denies having had an accident but for his skin to be in that state he must have been like that for a while to have chafed so much.

My apologies - I did muddle the title and got the age wrong. I would have expected a much mire active approach in reception when there is a child who isn't eating, is subdued and smells funny.

Oh your poor little boy :( Hope he gets well soon.

I remember when ds3 was in reception he had an accident and poohed his pants. My ds1 aged 10 happened to go to the toilet and saw him standing in a very open area sobbing whilst a nursery nurse roughly scrubbed at his skin with wet paper towels.Ds1 was so upset he shouted at her to let him clean him up and took him into a cubicle to do so.
I never sent them back to the school and took all three out. It was the culmination of many other things i was unhappy about.
Hope hes ok now poor thing.

Oh, poor little lamb chop. Plenty of sudocrem, some calpol, and tlc. Also some very strong words with the school tomorrow. Loco in parentis and all that. The school should know better.....

My ds is in reception and they keep a set of clean clothes for them simply because they know accidents can happen.

Yes diarrhea can be quite acidic. I've seen ds break out once before because of it when he was in nappies.

Poor wee thing. I would be having words with the school if it was me. Hope he feels better in the morning.

YADNBU.
This is unacceptable.
I would be in first thing tomorrow to the Head with pictures and strong words.

Your child has experienced severe pain unnecessarily and it's their fault.

Even if they weren't going to clean him, they could have phoned you.

Your poor poor boy!

That has made me feel really sad , your poor little boy. I find it hard to believe they didn't noticed, I would imagine the smell would be pretty bad?

I'd be on the phone the Head tomorrow, big hugs to you both xx

YANBU. I would be horrified if that happened to DS (also 4 and in reception). I also don't believe the teacher/assistant didn't know what was up or didn't know. I can believe that he wouldn't tell them what the problem was - DS friend didn't tell her teacher when she wet herself the other day.

Hope he feels better and is himself again soon - physically and mentally.

PS have you got any Metanium, I found that works really quickly?

you poor ds, i hope he feels better soon x

and yes i would talk to the head and what to know why you wernt called, x

gosh, I had a little weep at the thought of your little boy's distress

how bloody awful for him

Can you take someone with you? DP, DH or a friend?

Totally out of order. You need an explanation and an apology. DS1 pooed himself in year two, too busy playing, and his TA cleaned him up straight away, clean clothes the lot. Not pleasant but she was lovely, this sort of thing happens not often but it's part of their job.

I find it hard to beleive the teachers could not smell it. They should be ashamed.

I really feel for you and your DS, and I think you definitely need to speak to the school about this, but try to stay calm. I really don't think they would have left him in that state if they'd known about it since lunchtime.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.

poor little pumpkin :( how awful for him

yes of course yanbu i would most certainly make a complaint and also want confirmation that this would not happen again

feel really sad for him

Both the Ta and teacher would have had to be wearing blindfolds not to notice that something was up with him. Anyone with half a brain can see if something is wrong with a young child.
It doesn't matter that he denied having had an accident, they should know that something was up. And what's with this" he must have trodden in something" nonsense? Trodden in what? Dog mess in the playground? Dogs aren't allowed in the playground. Or are they implying he came to school smelling of shit? Are they saying he came to school having trodden in something that smelt like shit and they let him walk round like that all day?

Poor little blighter. My youngest is 4 and in reception. I would be bloody livid in your position.

Really thank you all of you, it's hard when you feel so upset to distinguish whether you're making more of something than you should because you are so emotional, but I will talk to the school as the more I think about this the less I can just accept it and move on without doing something!

I think it's important that he has reassurance that it won't happen again too. Last week the children missed their lunch due to Matt Baker cycling through the village (the school took all the children to the high street to see him) and they didn't get their lunch until 2.15, and he needed masses of reassurance that this was just a one off and it would not happen again...he really needs to know what to expect and when and how things will happen, or freaks out massively.

I have just been to check on him and the calpol and sudocrem seem to have done the trick and he is fast asleep, and the swelling is going down a little too.

As a Reception teacher, I find it really hard to understand this one at all. Even if a child has had an accident and is denying it, there are ways of getting to the bottom of it. I would've phoned you and explained the situation. We have given children showers before at school (after phoning for permission), and always clean children up. It's not pleasant, but you can't leave them dirty, can you? I would go straight to the head (in a calm manner). And I NEVER think that.

Jesus christ

Your poor DS :(

Poor wee thing, have a word tomorrow, gently to start with. And if he's still sore, I know it sounds strange but chuck and couple of handfuls of porridge in the bath, then leave him to 'air dry'. It leaves the skin looking a bit white, but it's incredibly soothing, also brilliant for chicken pox!