Feelings of anger SIL pregnant

[KIWIFTM]

After 7 months of charting my cycles and staying a strict diet, no alcohol, fertility yoga and taking a romantic 2 week holiday - I'm still not pregnant.
I have just found out that my SIL is pregnant and am finding it really hard to be happy for them. In fact I'm feeling really angry at them. Firstly I had let on to my brother that we were trying and they kept that to themselves ( we live in different countries). I feel like I've been lied to and now I am expected to be happy, with the added heartbreak of not being pregnant myself. I think they're being unrealistic about a happy reaction from me.
I was on the phone to my family the other day and I was passed over to my SIL, as they are only 6 weeks I had been told not to talk about it, so I didn't. We have quite a 'superficial' relationship and I never share my feelings with her, so when I emailed to say how I was feeling I think she thought I was dumping on her. Now my SIL is kicking up a fuss saying I am not happy for them and am causing problems in our family. What do they need from me anyway? they've got what they want - Am I being unreasonable?

So hard for op. TTC is a difficult time in anyone's life. Please try and contact sil and tell her how pleased you are. Just relax and hopefully you will conceive too.

Honestly, this all sounds a bit unhealthy. You and the SIL sound like you do not have a supportive, cooperative relationship. I am absolutely the best of friends with my cousin and now our babies, born within weeks of each other, spend loads of time together. My mother and my aunt (the OP and SIL in this example) STILL spend their time competing and trying to pit us against each other. They like it when the other person's children fail (at marriages, jobs etc.). Thank goodness we don't join in.

I hope you conceive soon and I hope you and DB/SIL's baby grow up loving and respecting each other and act more like grown ups than the grown ups.

BTW, strict diet and pregnancy yoga. We didn't get to 7 billion people with strict diets and pregnancy yoga.

it's true, TTC can certainly send you loopy.

The best way to ensure that it definitely does send you loopy is, whilst doing it, to live the life of a Buddhist monk, going without everything comforting and fun, restricting yourself to the nth degree.

One way ticket on the high-speed train to Loopsville.

Nobody is blaming you in the slightest for the way you feel. Rant and wail and gnash your teeth - in private. Often, if needed. Then, after each session, take a deep breath and get on enjoying life.

This has happened. There's no wishing it away now. No waking up and realising it was all a dream. It IS happening. So you can either be the sulky SIL that people think badly of, or the magnanimous adult that people respect. Your choice.

Some very good advice here, wonder if OP is going too come back???

KIWI, I think you do need to look about how you are going about ttc, not because relaxing will instantly make you pregnant (it probably won't make any difference whatsoever) but because you will drive yourself into a breakdown if you are already stressing this badly after 7 months.

You mention yourself that you are ambitious -did you think that ambition alone would ensure that you got results?

As countless posters have pointed out, 7 months is well within the normal range of conception, i.e. something a large number of people have to put up with. You are not doing yourself any favours if you are already working yourself into a state over something that is normal and ordinary.

You need to organise a better way of living your life if you are going to last the whole course- remember it may be a longer haul, you don't want to be an emotional wreck by the time you do conceive. You will need to keep your mind occupied.

And once you have conceived (and fingers crossed it will be soon!), there is still the pregnancy to go through, and then labour and then the long years of childrearing- how are you going to cope with that if you are always looking at other people and thinking you have to have the perfect experience because you are so ambitious.

Childrearing is an uncertain business: your child may end up with SN or simply less bright than your brother's: there are no guarantees. Except that if you become known for warmth and generosity it will be an enormous advantage for your child if you do conceive.

i think that a lot of people arent overjoyed to hear of someone elses news - whether it relates to TTC themselves or not.

my SIL annouced hers at the start of a family business meeting (that she is not a shareholder of) & my reaction in my head was 'FFS does everything has to be about you? you are going to try to use this to get your own way...' but out loud i made sure i said congratulations etc.

when a friend told me she was pregnant, i thought 'oh god you are pregnant by the man who hit you are least once and puts you down all the time'

the same friend told me about feeling jealous when her SIL announced she was pregnant. i dont think that was terrible of her.

DD1 was the result of a £9.99 pitcher of Red Bull and voddy special down our local :o.

haven't read the whole thread yet as should probably get kids from school soon but wanted to say i understand the hurt, my cousin fell pregnant when i had been ttc ds (my 2nd dc) and she didnt have custody of her first and i hated her for being able to fall pg so quickly.

now im ttc #3 (for the last 11 months) and having no success, i did have to tell a friend to be grateful for what she had when she was constantly bitching about how her body had been invaded and hated being pregnant and blah blah blah. I probably should have kept my opinion to myself but it's hard when you want something so badf and others seem to get it so easily.

YA however BU to have emailed her.

eminencegrise

BerylStreep ? sorry, I am laughing, because I like your name. Whats in a name? quiet a lot actually

Good luck with your problem.

Thanks. Everyone knows my famous sister, but I'm the looker of the family.