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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised 3 out of 6 children didn't bring a gift to dds party?

157 replies

Lollyheart · 19/11/2011 18:22

I'm happy that they came to her party,I'm just surprised 3 children didn't give a present, I personally couldn't send dd to a party without a present.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 19/11/2011 18:44

tossing a bone

I didnt realise you invited people to expect a present?

It would have been a sad old party of all the poor people didnt attend

Original poster
Lollyheart · 19/11/2011 18:44

Believe me im glad they came without one rather then not come.

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsSleep · 19/11/2011 18:49

Lolly - what a shame for DD :( It's a lot more noticeable when there are only a few kids, whereas with a big party they never notice. I hope she still had a really lovely day with her friends and has/will have fun choosing something.

Twinkly - it's really not important and it is important that s/he still went. I'd have got him/her to make a card :)

troisgarcons - you seriously need to move your bed Grin

catsareevil · 19/11/2011 18:50

That is unusual. You hadnt written 'no presents' on the invite had you?

Nagoo · 19/11/2011 18:53

That is unusual. Yanbu.

worraliberty · 19/11/2011 18:54

That's very strange

I never buy a prezzie but I always put £10 in the card

twinklytroll · 19/11/2011 18:55

Yes we made a card and I made some cakes for the party but there was no gift.

pigletmania · 19/11/2011 18:55

trois no parties are not for the rich Hmm, there are plenty of things at the Pounshop, Poundstretcher, or any discount store. Even a pack a 4 chocci bars would be fine. My dd would love one of those as opposed to a toy Grin

NewsClippings · 19/11/2011 18:58

YANBU

pigletmania · 19/11/2011 18:59

Infact when I had a little birthday party when I was 6 I was over the moon to get a box of Maltesers, I love the things even to this day.

ImperialBlether · 19/11/2011 19:00

I think unless it's already arranged, it's mean to go to a party without a present.

piratecat · 19/11/2011 19:02

yanbu to be surprised.

3 out of 6 i am shocked. i would never send dd to a party empty handed.

garlicbutter · 19/11/2011 19:03

So, possible reasons for lack of pressie:

  1. They didn't realise it was her birthday.
  2. She's been to theirs without a present.
  3. You move in super-competitive circles and only 3 could afford the expect level of gift.
  4. DD told them she didn't want presents.
  5. ... errr ...

YANBU, it is a bit odd. I don't give gifts to adults because of being broke, but kids are usually happy with anything wrapped up, aren't they?

Everlong · 19/11/2011 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Lollyheart · 19/11/2011 19:13

They knew it was her birthday, they gave her birthday cards.
Dd had a great time as is not at all bothered now, but she did say she had nothing to open which made me feel sorry for her.

OP posts:
AChickenCalledKorma · 19/11/2011 19:14

Have frequently had one child turn up without a present - either because they forgot or just don't have much cash. And sometimes children from other cultures have turned up with food, rather than a present. 3 out of 6 does seem a bit odd, though, unless they didn't realise it was her birthday.

MerryMarigold · 19/11/2011 19:20

3 out of 6 is surprising. We had a party today (6th) and 2 brothers who came brought a gift each!!! (Bit shocked at that level of generosity) A couple of good friends asked what ds1 wanted and I said, "Don't worry. He'll get plenty of stuff and we already have plenty of stuff" - and they didn't bring anything. A single Mum who is not working gave him 10.00 and I felt really bad.

I think maybe the 3 of them have chipped together to get something, but I would have thought they'd tell you. It's very weird. And I don't think you are being U to feel a bit off about it. It's because you're grabby, but it's kind of an acknowledgment of "Thanks for inviting us, we appreciate it and we like your dd."

MerryMarigold · 19/11/2011 19:20

it's NOT because you're grabby

MerryMarigold · 19/11/2011 19:22

Agree with the card bit. Was a bit annoyed at friends who didn't bring card (I know I said no present, but no card is pushing it!!).

zukiecat · 19/11/2011 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

agedknees · 19/11/2011 19:26

I think it is odd to send a child to a birthday party without a gift.

YANBU

Chandon · 19/11/2011 19:26

so disappointed.

In "most active" all I saw was: To be surprised 3 out of 6 children...

So in my mind I guessed:
.....do not like McDonalds?
.....go to bed in their clothes?
......don't care about christmas?
......prefer Whiskas?

sorry...am tuipsy better go

Eggrules · 19/11/2011 19:28

I wish I had the foresight to say 'a coin for the money jar'

mhmummy · 19/11/2011 19:32

Gosh that is just rude - YANBU. I can't imagine why they wouldn't have done this - especially assuming you'd bought a gift for their children when it was their birthdays.

AngelofTheLordiscomingDown · 19/11/2011 19:33

Not talking about children's parties, my friends and I have a rota of parties. We always take wine, possibly a food contribution (not if asked not to and I do ask them not to) and it has somehow become a custom for another gift to be brought as well, for instance, a box of chocolates I wish they wouldn't because I'm trying to lose weight or a plant.

That aside, I would never have sent my children to a friend's party without an offering of some sort.

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