Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised 3 out of 6 children didn't bring a gift to dds party?

157 replies

Lollyheart · 19/11/2011 18:22

I'm happy that they came to her party,I'm just surprised 3 children didn't give a present, I personally couldn't send dd to a party without a present.

OP posts:
woopsidaisy · 19/11/2011 18:26

I would never send a child to a party without a gift. It doesn't have to be pricey or flash,a packet of colouring pencils,a bouncy ball,a packet of buttons even!
YANBU!

slavetofilofax · 19/11/2011 18:27

YANBU.

These people are rude.

valiumredhead · 19/11/2011 18:28

How unusual!

twinklytroll · 19/11/2011 18:28

I would be quite relieved if 50% of guests did not bring presents .

Hassled · 19/11/2011 18:29

That's just weird. It's standard party etiquette to bring a present - do people not know this? Could it have been their first experience of a child's party?

thebigkahuna · 19/11/2011 18:29

I reckon this will kick off.

YANBU to be surprised but be prepared to be accused of being grabby.

hocuspontas · 19/11/2011 18:29

Is it her birthday yet? I just wondered if some people wait for the birthday. Bit odd though. Maybe one person but three is a lot!

Original poster
Lollyheart · 19/11/2011 18:31

I don't think it's their first party, dd is 7.

OP posts:
fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 19/11/2011 18:31

How old is she?

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 19/11/2011 18:32

Ah at 7, yes that is a bit unusual, especially since the party was relatively small. But was it somehting the parents had already had to chip in for? I've read on here about people having build a bear parties and things and the parents of guests having to pay. If not, then yes very unusual.

pigletmania · 19/11/2011 18:33

YANBU, my mum sent me to a party without a present when I was 5, I was so Blush, until to this day 30 years passing, I can never forget it.

twinklytroll · 19/11/2011 18:34

I have sent my child to a party before with no present, I was not going to attend but the mother made it clear that she wanted our presence and not our presents.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 19/11/2011 18:34

It seems strange. Even if it's something from poundland or a bar of chocolate or something... it's odd to turn up at a party without a present. It wouldn't bother me, I'd just think it was a little unusual.

Meglet · 19/11/2011 18:35

hmmm, as someone who is still opening presents with DS a week after his 5th birthday I rather wish I had a 'no presents' rule on the invite, DS is a funny thing and presents wouldn't have occured to him. Everyone was really generous and the whole class came so he has, um....... rather a lot of toys. .

yanbu though, I would always take a present to a party unless asked not to.

We tend to stock up in sales / wilkos / poundland. Card and present from Poundland, £1.25 (4 cards for a £1).

Hope your DD had a nice party Smile.

Original poster
Lollyheart · 19/11/2011 18:35

We went to the cinema then lunch after, parents didn't have to pay anything towards it.

OP posts:
mamalovesmojitos · 19/11/2011 18:36

YANBU

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 19/11/2011 18:36

Maybe they'll give them later, thinking it'd be awkward to cart them to the cinema and lunch?

lollilou · 19/11/2011 18:37

As there are no toyshops in my area I have often sent a card with a fiver in it. Did you check her cards? I would never send my kids to a party empty handed.

skybluepearl · 19/11/2011 18:37

YANBU

BawbagBiggins · 19/11/2011 18:38

Did they bring a card? Could they have just popped money/vouchers in the card. This is what we do with DS1's friends as they all seem to want to put it toward more expensive games/toys.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 19/11/2011 18:39

twinklytroll - why were you not going to go? Because you couldn't afford a present? Presence is definitely more important than presents :) I'm just a bit surprised that a poundland gift/chocolate bar/bouncy ball is beyond anyone's means. I wouldn't want to risk upsetting the birthday child by going empty handed or embarrass the child going to the party.

I'm all for invites asking the kids to put a coin in the piggy bank!

twinklytroll · 19/11/2011 18:41

I genuinely had no money and felt guilty for not being able to buy any present.

Original poster
Lollyheart · 19/11/2011 18:41

Yes they gave her card, I did double check the envelopes Blush but they were empty.
I feel sorry for dd as she had no presents to open as the other 3 did give money.

OP posts:
SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 19/11/2011 18:42

YANBU - can't imagine not sending anything.

But agree with thebigkahuna (great name Grin) - the 'you grabby cah' brigade will be along soon to flame your ass.

MercyDulbottle · 19/11/2011 18:42

Was it quite clearly presented as a birthday party? might they have just thought it was a trip to the cinema, IYSWIM, if i took a friend of DD's to the pictures and lunch it wouldn't necessitate a present, although they might invite dd another time in return. Did they definately all know it was her birthday?