to want some assistance in the house at the weekend even though I only

[newcastle78]

work about 8 hours a week outside the home and dc are at school.

I appreciate i have it easier during the week. I can get most of the housework done whilst dc are at school.

However, at the weekend dh does sweet fa.

i do the swimming run and virtually all the stuff that needs doing day in day out.

YANBU if your DH only works 8 hours a week as well,
If he doesn't then YABU.

I agree Valium- you could cook during the week and freeze for the weekend. Couple of loads of laundry over the weekend takes minutes,'and tbh school age children are old enough to wash the dishes or stack the dishwasher. And indeed it sends a good message to expect them to. Honestly,something is amiss here if you work only 8 hours and are leaving a lot of chores til the weekend

Fabby is that really necessary? Ffs.

My heart bleeds for you. one thread that has totally pissed me off is this one, talk about lazy.

Im overweight but it aint from sitting on my arse all week whilst someone else goes out and pays for everything and I do nothing whilst my husband is at work and my kids are at school. Too much Jeremy Vile me thinks there are six hours whilst the kids are out, it takes max 1 hour to load washer clean house from top to bottom and she hasnt enough time? OMG. Sense of entitlement alert.

Fabby- you don't need to personally insult the op. The majority agree that she is being unreasonable and probably gets a lot more time to herself than her full time working husband. No need to just insult her

Fabby you have no idea how big the OP's house is, she might have a bloody enormous house and garden, 8 kids, 4 horses and have crippling depression, so how you can make judgements on what the OP has posted so far I'll never know!

I do wonder if some people's weight problems are due to them eating the giant chip they have on their shoulder...

Slow down on the Fabby, it's still early.

Was just wanting opinions really. Dc are still quite young 4 and 6 so need lots of attention etc still. Yet when dh gets home from work in eve he switches off. May occassionaly nag them to go to bed but I do cooking, washing up and pretty much everything else. When i get up each morning even his glass and tablets wrappers are on the side table where he sat.
Swimming on a Saturday is a necessary evil as pool we use only does saturday lessons. At least half of the saturdays he goes to football leaving at 11 and returning at 6.
Today was a non football day so I did swimming run as usual. Than met a friend with dc and later met up with dh for lunch. When i got home dh was upstairs on computer and has barely surfaced since.
Yes I do get about 5 1/2 a day during week if not working but thats for housework, shopping, running errands washing etc. Have a large house too.
Nature of my work means I work very irregular hours and I am busier during weekends and this time of year. 8 is an average.
Guess I am just feelking like a skivvy.

What does the DH do all weekend? We know not the tedious bits like housework, swimming classes etc, but does he take part in family activities, eg a trip to the park? If not then that is seriously rubbish.

My other question is: what happens in the school holidays when you have the DC home during the day? Does your DH still sit on his arse all weekend?

YABU. From what you have said so far, I can only assume that you don't use your child free time that effieciently. With that amount of free time in the week, there shouldn't be THAT much stuff to do at weekends. Why don't you suggest that you and DH both take the kids swimming and make it more fun, rather than another chore. Or alternatively, increase your hours, let him reduce his and see if that suits better?

Yes fabby I am overweight and depressed too. Losing a parent does that to you.

Sounds like a better balance all round is called for. Could you up your working hours, or at least find more regular work, and that puts you in a stronger position to renegotiate household stuff. 8 hours on average probably seems like nothing to your dh so its going to be difficult to get him to shift unless you change the status quo

School holidays are the same. May occassionally cook at weekends but that's about it. Does sometimes take part in family activities except when at football of course.

YABU, working only 8 hours a week means your OH is financially providing for you to be home all day doing whatever you like and then you moan as you feel he should do the housework etc as well. If you were both working full time then splitting chores is fair but when one works far less than the other its only right that they do the house stuff.

Well in that case - I don't think YABU. He's being lazy and selfish.

Yes I do think its probably time to look for something else. Just not easy as childcare is an issue and expensive. Particularly in hols.

Going out all day on a Saturday EVERY WEEK is taking the piss.

And leaving you to pick up after him is too. Not acceptable.

Hmm difficult one. I work 16 hours a week in school hours so have Monday and Friday at home to do the housework. I pretty much get everything done in that time and manage to go to an aerobics class on each day too. I don't really expect DH to do anything at the weekend as he works 12 hour days during the week. But if the house gets messy during the weekend we do often have a blitz on Sunday afternoon and DH always insists on us doing it together (he thoroughly cleans the kitchen and does the dishes). During the week he cleans up after cooking dinner and takes the bins out.

I suppose if I was tidying a lot at the weekend I would be annoyed if he did nothing but how much do you really need to do at the weekend? In term time you should have a lot of free hours to clean and tidy so apart from a little tidying away and washing up at weekends there shouldn't be much else to do.

Have you told him you are pissed off? What does he say? (Sorry if I missed you saying this already)

My DH does all the running around but he has a very low-stress job, working from home whilst I have a very stressful job with long hours and a commute so to us it's a no-brainer that he does the swimming / Karate lessons etc. it's about balance.

Sorry reading back it all seems a bit unfair. DH likes to spend all weekend with us generally and we do everything together. DS has rugby on Sunday morning so we take it in turns to take him to this. We both lie in a bit on Saturday morning while the kids watch TV. Out every Sat for 7 hours is a bit much.

Okay cross posts - having to clear up after him is NOT on.

When I was married, and exh was SAH - he was a lazy shit. I spent most of the weekend doing housework that he hadn't bothered his arse to do all week, and it made me massively resentful. But I wouldn't have dreamt of not sharing the chores even though I'd been at work all week.

This, however is completely different. He needs to get his finger out of his arse.