to want to vent a few days after the actual event because my DD is distressed!

[LDNmummy]

I am seething!

Last Saturday DH's family all came over to see the baby and one of his aunts WITHOUT FUCKING ASKING ME IF I APPROVED (AND NO I FUCKING DON'T), took my six week old baby by the ankle and swung her upside down in mid air suddenly. APPARENTLY SHE HAD ALREADY DONE IT ONCE BEFORE WHEN I WAS OUT OF THE ROOM!

In our home country it is common with some families to do this as traditionally they think it makes the baby fearless and stretches their legs and strengthens them. In my family we would never do this and my entire family are outraged by it having been done to my DD. She was terrified and literally jumped out of her skin at the slightest thing for two days after. She still will not settle with anyone but me and cries if anyone but me handles her. She was a very happy and fearless baby before and anyone could hold her and she never fussed or cried. She didn't even cry when she recently had her first jab. Now if I leave the room for a minute or put her down, she cries. She is also comfort eating all the time.

It was so sudden and not gently done either! I am so angry because my happy and confident little baby has changed overnight. DH is angry too after seeing the effect it has had on DD and we have agreed that she is not to be left alone with his family.

This type of thing is an ongoing problem with his controlling family who keep pressurising me to raise our DD the way they think is best which includes doing things like that and letting her CIO as well as implementing a strict routine (things they wanted me to do from the moment she came home).

I am worried I am going to slap one of DH's family members in the face the next time they tell me how to parent our DD after this.

I am furious on your behalf. I think I would have said something unprintable to the perpetrator.

I'd have phoned the police and had a doctor check over the baby as well

I completely agree that was horrific. However, please do not attribute too much of your baby's current behaviour to this. She is clinging to you as her mother - normal. She is feeding all the time - normal. Hopefully she suffered no ill effects, which is more than the aunt will suffer if she comes near you or your DH

I dashed across the room to grab her from the aunt but it was too late

I knew she would be scared but I didn't realise how much of an effect it would have on her. She has not been herself for almost a week now and I'm hoping she will go back to her old self soon.

It's a very extreme example of what a lot of us seem to have to put up with (my Ex's parents were wildly opposed to breastfeeding for example).

At least your DH is angry too and will presumably tell them all to fuck off.

What did you do at the time, though?

Hope the baby is ok.

YANBU, That was an awful thing to do to a very small baby,

Sorry I do not mean this behaviour is not as a result of this and I agree, I would get her checked over too. Just tiny babies are so variable, and when something like this happens you do wonder whether everything is as a result of it ... it might not be.

I will try not to stealth, she just seems to have changed overnight. She will cry even if her dad holds her now and we have never had an issue like that before.

I agree with StealthPolarBear - I would want her checked over just to ensure she is 100% ok.

And I'd throw Aunt to the floor, pick her up by her ankle and swing her round for good measure - see what she thinks of it. That is atrocious behaviour and if a parent was to do that to a baby at 6 weeks old they would have social services banging on their door.

I also get grief about breastfeeding. They think she is not fat enough so I should be giving her formula first and topping up with breastmilk.

Sorry, just needed to vent this evening.

That's absolutely horrendous. I would have told the aunt to leave immediately. As someone has already said though, at least your DH is on your side-would be so much harder if he defended them.

Hope your DD settles soon. Our of interest, where are you-or whee are DH's family from?

West African, but can I just say that DH's family seem to be more 'into' this kind of thing than most. I have never seen or heard of a family doing this before. My mum actually threatened to call SS after I told her.

I personally wouldn't let them in the house again. I would also have the child checked by a doctor - something doesn't sound right. That's awful. As to whether you're being unreasonable - let's just say she wouldn't do it again if that was my child - you sound more than reasonable.

I can tell you this, it takes a hell of a lot to shock me OP but I am genuinely shocked

I'm normally never one for blindly typing the words "Doctors" or "A&E"

But actually, can you be sure her unsettled crying isn't because she's injured in some way? Her legs or her hips perhaps?

It might be worth checking her over because some little ones can live for years with an injury that's not quite obvious...they just tend to 'learn to live with it'

I will head to a drop in centre tomorrow and have her checked.

Could DD be acting weird because she has some kind of injury? Of course, one you can't see - you sound like a very attentive mother, but I would get her checked over if I were you - if she had been accidentally dropped or rolled off a surface or whatever and was still acting differently, you would get her checked I think.
It is hard to tell with such young babies, but might be best to put your mind at rest.

Worra I hadn't even thought she could be injured like that. I feel so terrible now but glad it has been mentioned.

I just assumed an injury would be obvious.

I will definitely get her checked first thing tomorrow

I think that's a good idea

Try not too worry too much as they're bendy little things at that age, but I would worry about hips and other joints if she's unsettled.

Don't feel terrible!

I'm sure she'll be fine....it's just to be on the safe side

Thank you.

Perhaps the baby has a dislocation as a result of this horrific act.

I also implore you to get her checked over.

What a crazy fucker

X post Pls don't feel bad! It's just best to be safe so you can rule it out. She was probably really shocked poor baby

Fucking hell, I thought my day with the ILs was bad but this puts that into it's small and insignificant perspective.

You poor thing, good luck for tomorrow.

I didn't think I could get angrier but thinking she might be physically hurt is doing it

I'm calm now, there is no point getting into a rage, but God forbid she is physically hurt.

lockets I can't describe the panicked feeling you get when someone swings your child upside down through the air like that. It was horrid.