to want to vent a few days after the actual event because my DD is distressed!

[LDNmummy]

I am seething!

Last Saturday DH's family all came over to see the baby and one of his aunts WITHOUT FUCKING ASKING ME IF I APPROVED (AND NO I FUCKING DON'T), took my six week old baby by the ankle and swung her upside down in mid air suddenly. APPARENTLY SHE HAD ALREADY DONE IT ONCE BEFORE WHEN I WAS OUT OF THE ROOM!

In our home country it is common with some families to do this as traditionally they think it makes the baby fearless and stretches their legs and strengthens them. In my family we would never do this and my entire family are outraged by it having been done to my DD. She was terrified and literally jumped out of her skin at the slightest thing for two days after. She still will not settle with anyone but me and cries if anyone but me handles her. She was a very happy and fearless baby before and anyone could hold her and she never fussed or cried. She didn't even cry when she recently had her first jab. Now if I leave the room for a minute or put her down, she cries. She is also comfort eating all the time.

It was so sudden and not gently done either! I am so angry because my happy and confident little baby has changed overnight. DH is angry too after seeing the effect it has had on DD and we have agreed that she is not to be left alone with his family.

This type of thing is an ongoing problem with his controlling family who keep pressurising me to raise our DD the way they think is best which includes doing things like that and letting her CIO as well as implementing a strict routine (things they wanted me to do from the moment she came home).

I am worried I am going to slap one of DH's family members in the face the next time they tell me how to parent our DD after this.

Good luck at GP. Really glad you're going - although it may just be normal baby behaviour, much better to get it checked out. Poor wee bairn.

at the aunt, and your DH's family, but really glad he is supportive of you at least.

I think you are probably right to get it checked out. I expct that the baby is probably fine, didn't they used to swing newborn babies upside down and smack them on the back to make them cry?

The most important thing from now on is trust. You need to decide how to handle the family so everyone know not to do anything like that.

'i could be wrong spider and obviously I'm not an HCP, however, I would imagine being in the womb, cradled in by their mother's skin, tissue, organs and a whole lot of amniotic fluid is a bit different to being suddenly swung upside by one leg when there is no other support'

you are right but
r i was responding to the poster who expressed concern about blood rushing to the baby's heads because she was upside down.

OMG!
I will be completely honest, and common as muck, but I would have fucking battered the bitch for doing that to my baby. I wouldnt have stopped until i saw blood. If thats the way their culture tells your inlaws to treat babies then I would evict the evil fuckers from my babies life permanently. No second chances after that, they have just physically abused your baby in her own home in front of her own parents. I am utterly gobsmaked tbh, that poor poor little baby

Hi OP, you poor thing, what a shocking thing to happen.
I second getting her checked out by a Dr, knees and hips ect,
I would also have a chat with Dh and decide which of you will discuss this with the relative concerned. They need to be told in no uncertain terms that when they have a six week old baby of their own they can do as they see fit, but they cannot with yours.

Your opinion isn't valid??? You are the baby's Parent, your opinion is top. If this is the respect (or lack of) that she shows to you, the mother of her Granddaughter then you would be well within your rights to tell her to fuck off. See how valid she finds that, the old cow!!! Sorry, really cross on your behalf.

your poor DD (and you)
I hope the GP visit is useful, in a way I kind of hope they do find something wrong and then can fix it so that your daughter will be ok again.

Then go to the police.

Op i hope your DD is ok x

I wouldn't be letting these people anywhere near your dd in the future if i were you .

I am sceptical that there is such a custom of swinging a baby by the leg - in some African communities. It kind of puts African people in a bad light - and I don't buy it - sorry.

Well, blood rushes to my head if I'm upside down, and it feel quite unpleasant.

I think the situation is likely to be the same for a six-week-old baby.

At first thought, one can draw comforting analogies with fetuses/babies being upside down in the womb, before they're born, as spiderpig8 did, but the pre-birth circulatory system works differently. (There's even a different kind of haemoglobin in the gestating baby human's red blood cells, called fetal haemoglobin!)

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that I think a newborn is more closely analogous to an adult, than a unborn baby. The tiny human is receiving its blood supply from the mother's placenta via the amniotic cord, which might make a huge difference.

After all, when you look at a newborn that's even a few hours old, can you see any way you could fold him/her back up and squish him/her back in a uterus?

Well, LDNmummy has been on MN on a year at least. I remember her posts, and I'm sure she's a legitimate poster.

Animation - it's not only Africa but it is a real custom. I've seen a YouTube clip of someone doing it

I'm sceptical of the custom. I think it's an elaborate rationalisation by the relatives for what is basically an act of cruelty and downright stupidity. I would like to hear what members of the African community would say about it..

I assumed that clips on YouTube were just idiotic adults being mean to babies.

My foot would have connected with said Aunt's backside as she was booted out of my house and never to come back.

I am shocked anyone would think it's ok to do that to a tiny baby. I would have taken baby to the Dr's too, I think I'd be sick with worry.

I hope your baby is well and ok op .

If the aunt can't be kept away, could you wear DD in a sling while she is present? (not a baby bjorn but a nice comfortable one that she could be in for a few hours at a time).

Slinging her around the house might give her some reassurance and comfort for a while too, poor love. She's be snuggled up close and would feel safe.

I cannot imagine what I would have done to anyone doing that to my DS (3 months).

there is an 8 week growth spurt that will make a baby clingy, fussy, unable to settle and fight feeds etc.
I'm glad you're getting your baby checked out and really hope she's hit this developmental stage a little early and is actually unaffected by the assault(!) by the aunt.

I hope it went ok at the GPs. How is she?

I'm lurking to see how you got on at the doctor.

A lady at a group I went to today is W. African and i asked her about the leg swinging and she said she'd heard of it but thought it was a very old and outdated practice. She's only been in the UK 2 years so even where she's from it's considered barbaric.

How did it go with GP?

How did you get on at the GP LDNmummy? Hope you're OK.

Animation please go through my posting history if you don't believe me. You will see I am very open about my African heritage and contribute a lot to threads about racism and African/ Caribbean related issues. I am someone who would never want to paint my own community in a bad light and I emphasised up thread that my own African family would never do something like this and it is something I have never seen practised before till now. Believe me it pains me to talk about this in relation to my heritage. All cultures have their good and bad points. For instance, the fact that breastfeeding is so stigmatised in this country. In my culture women would never receive the treatment some women have to put up with here for breastfeeding in public. Like I said, each has their good and bad points.

I am just popping in quickly to say I have been to the GP and she is fine thank goodness. But the GP was very concerned and has indeed contacted SS who will be calling me to discuss where we go from here. They feel I need some support and it might help to have the HV pay a visit.

I have to go run some errands but will come back later to answer any questions. Thanks again everyone for the support and advice, it was needed.

Has she got a babyof her own? I am not sure what the point of SS involvment is?