to want to vent a few days after the actual event because my DD is distressed!

[LDNmummy]

I am seething!

Last Saturday DH's family all came over to see the baby and one of his aunts WITHOUT FUCKING ASKING ME IF I APPROVED (AND NO I FUCKING DON'T), took my six week old baby by the ankle and swung her upside down in mid air suddenly. APPARENTLY SHE HAD ALREADY DONE IT ONCE BEFORE WHEN I WAS OUT OF THE ROOM!

In our home country it is common with some families to do this as traditionally they think it makes the baby fearless and stretches their legs and strengthens them. In my family we would never do this and my entire family are outraged by it having been done to my DD. She was terrified and literally jumped out of her skin at the slightest thing for two days after. She still will not settle with anyone but me and cries if anyone but me handles her. She was a very happy and fearless baby before and anyone could hold her and she never fussed or cried. She didn't even cry when she recently had her first jab. Now if I leave the room for a minute or put her down, she cries. She is also comfort eating all the time.

It was so sudden and not gently done either! I am so angry because my happy and confident little baby has changed overnight. DH is angry too after seeing the effect it has had on DD and we have agreed that she is not to be left alone with his family.

This type of thing is an ongoing problem with his controlling family who keep pressurising me to raise our DD the way they think is best which includes doing things like that and letting her CIO as well as implementing a strict routine (things they wanted me to do from the moment she came home).

I am worried I am going to slap one of DH's family members in the face the next time they tell me how to parent our DD after this.

I actually gasped with shock when I read your post OP. Please get her checked over and make sure this can't happen again. So sorry you are having to deal with this crap at a time when your life should be so lovely.

Keep this woman and any other rellie who might do anything of the sort away from DD. End of.

Incidentally and as a matter of interest what is CIO?

But the fact that she's not easily startled now does not in any way condone what your relative did. Appalling. Absolutely appalling.

CIO is crying it out. :(

Bloody hell - think I would have got physical with this AUNT - rugby tackled her to the ground and dragged her across the room by one leg!!!

Don't let anyone hurt your babies!!!

Omg op

Andrew, cio is cry it out, basically you put the baby in its cot and let it cry itself to sleep no matter how long it takes whether it be 2 mins or two hours. An awful method of sleep training imo.

OMG OP I am in shock that anyone would think that is an ok thing to do to anyone, let alone a 6 week old baby. You really do need to get her checked out. She could have a dislocation of some kind and therefore needs to have it sorted asap. Personally, I would take her to A & E to be checked over. If you take her to the GP they will probably refer to hospital anyway for more thorough checks. Please go today.

Your poor DD :(

Hope your both ok OP and everything is ok at the doctors

How awful for you, OP. Hope your dd is back to her old self soon.

You need to get her checked out at A&E and your own concerns about the aunt/MIL on record because if there is any physical harm to your daughter, you and your husband are first in the firing line of suspicion sadly. I would never allow any of his family to touch my child ever again. You cannot take the risk, sorry.

Could your baby have a dislocated leg now? That would be painful and why she doesn't want to be picked up. Take her to your GP and describe what happened.

If you must have them in the house again don't leave them alone with the baby for even a minute. Pick her up and take her if you have to leave the room. Be prepared to "grow some" and tell them why if they question this.
Don't take your baby to A+E as advised by some - it's for Accident and Emergency. She needs to see a healthcare professional of course, and I'm sure if you ring your doctor's surgery and explain that you have a serious concern about your baby they will make you an appointment.
If she's hurt, then I agree with the others, go home and call the police without delay.

Oh your poor baby :( I hope she's ok and you can get her checked today to set your mind at rest. I'm not sure my ILs would be anywhere my DC ever again if I were in your shoes :(

That's absolutely awful OP. My family are from West Africa but, thankfully, I have never heard of this practice. I have heard if other things that are pretty cruel.

I hope you get some good news when you get DD checked out.

It's bad enough that the aunt believes it, but to decide to do it to your DD is terrible. I'm totally shocked and angry on your behalf and upset for the baby.

Oh God! Poor you, and poor DD! I'd have smacked her in the face there and then so well done on your restraint. Hope she is ok, if not then I think you'd be justified in banning her from ever seeing your DD again, and telling you MIL to butt the fuck out as look what happens when she meddles.

That is terrible, bollocks to their "culture" what kind of ignorant bitch does that to someone else's baby. I would have done my fucking nut and the inlaws would not be seeing my child again for a very long time.

Poor little baby, I hope she's all right. :(

This is one of the most shocking posts i've seen on MN :( it must have been beyond awful to see that happen, poor you. I do hope your DD is ok. Some very good advice upthread. I am hoping you do report your DH's crazy family to the police as they sound a danger to you and your DD and to any other children they come into contact with. Please make it crystal clear to your DH that his aunt's appalling actions have resulted in your DD having to be checked by a Dr, that the baby will not be out of your arms to his relatives again and that if he wants the revolting individuals who assaulted your DD round ever again he'd better explain to them that the kind of behaviour they exhibited last time will not be tolerated. Please let us know how you get on

I'm trying to get my head round someone wanting to 'toughen up' a six week old baby?

I agree with the other posters, you need to get the baby checked. Hopefully she is ok, but the aunt??? WTF???

I think I would have I get the police involved. It's assault, plain and simple.

And I would go to GP for a check. In all honesty, GP is probably going to be duty bound to report the issue anyway.

So sad for you. It breaks my heart to think of this happening to any baby, never mind one of my own

Just shocking, OP, your poor baby. Please get her checked out if she is out of sorts. Hope she is OK

Wow they sound absolutely toxic

no, just completely looney

Was she swinging her round or just hanging her upside down ? My 4 DCs loved being hung upside down as babies .But I would have held them by the thighs so as not put a big strain on their knees or ankles and not swung them till their necks were strong enough and then only very gently to and fro.
I think you should get her checked just incase she has dislocated something.Most likely her distress is a sore throat or something else completely unrealated, but I'd still get ehr checked.
I am sure your aunt didn't mean any harm and is just doing what is customary in her culture and I very much doubt the police would do anything.Just leave her in absolutely no doubt that it is NOT acceptable in the UK!!!

I would go to the GP, and to follow what SnowDin said, I would ask the GP to follow it up through whatever agency is appropriate- Social Services, I assume. Explain what happened, and also say that they are harassing you wrt parenting your baby.

I say this because it sounds as if this isn't one crazy out-of-character act - this whole side of the family are gearing up to make your early parenting days a miserable angry nightmare.

You have two ways to resolve it - either go ballistic and cut contact, or hit back in a way which ensures that they know, absolutely, that they cannot a. get away with assaulting your child, or indeed approaching within ten fucking feet of your child without your express permission and b. get away with harassing/pressurising/bullying you and your family.

I would think that a call from Social Services to your aunt, and a clear message that you ain't no pushover and YOU will parent the way YOU want to, might work.

Although I am so at the thought of this that my own reaction would be, immediately, to inform my DH that I had no intention of letting them near my child again. Any of them.

Oh and btw yes she could be injured, she may have a dislocation, or at least a painful strain. God can you imagine that happening!

GP asap.