to have said no to SIL?

[dunkydunker]

I'm due in Feb and so this christmas is the last chistmas we will have without children.
We usually alternate between families and therefore countries

Except this year we are staying put and locking ourselves away and doing the xmas we use to have when we first got together.

My DBro and SIL are both working xmas day and have a 10 yo DD.

For whatever reason they don't want her at SILs family (who live in a hour radius of them). and it is only me and DBro left really.

It isn't like they live down the road but they live 7 hrs away.

SIL asked if DN could spend christmas with us

I said that normally we would have said yes but that this year we are just staying in and not doing very christmassy things (no tree, just piles of tinsel) Chinese for food tea and (didn't tell her this one: being naked all day - that is DHs wish anyway) as it was our last christmas to do exactly how we like.

Aparrently this isn't nice and 'why can't we have DN?' and it is very very unhelpful and we should be more willing to help them out.
I said again that we would normally but this time we would have to say no, sorry it isn't possible this time.

We do help them out and we have many times - over summer holidays, with their house.

are we being really unreasonable by not having DN over Christmas just because it doesn't it with what we want?

I feel really sorry for your neice, she's only 10 and no one seems to want her on Xmas day, least of all her mum who will only be working for the overtime if its hotel work

poor wee soul

I still don't see why the little girl can't go to her family an hour's drive away. Has the OP been back on to explain this?

I'm with porca and tsc - that poor child.

Lordy - what about the spirit of christmas.

So the sil may be a pain but that poor girl.

Jeeze.

Why are people trying to make dunkydunker feel guilty? She hasn't actually done anything wrong here, just said no.

I feel sorry for the little girl too but not because of OP.

My guess would be that SIL and Bro just took this work on (accept he may not have a choice being in NHS) and assumed people would step in to bail them out, if it's happened in the past.

Definitely no way should the OP have her DN based on the fact that the ten year old would have to take a seven hour train journey alone.

It's just one extra shift in the hotel and the mother of this young girl should put her daughter first (father not having as much choice in the matter). It's not OP with her naked Christmas who has prioritised wrong, it's the parents of this young girl and what they would be prepared to do for one extra shift.

Enjoy your naked christmas OP just don't spill hot Chinese food on your bits!

Yanbu. You are perfectly within your rights to say no. Hopefully they will then be forced to sort it out between them so she is with at least one parent and doesnt have to do a 7 hour train journey (madness).

Any update?