to feel shocked that my 4 year old was slated on 1st parents evening

[prettyontheinside]

without using the word 'slow' my dd's ability to concentrate, obey simple instructions, even write her name correctly were all mentioned...a snigger also at the fact she struggled writing, recognising the number 9. i was also told "i'm here to tell it like it is" - now, i hadn't asked "does my bum look big in this"? but was there to discuss my child... i am thoroughly worried as i was also told she'd be 'left behind'...i did say i felt the child discussed isn't the girl i recognise. she's been writing her name for a year...could it be that her teacher lacks rapport with her charges, looks like an unmade bed (cords and cotton traders t's + trainers) and has a lady beard...in fact after a week off school with a virus the teacher in question did not even mention my child's return to class - to welcome or to reassure...all that aside, don't you think the school should perhaps have called me in pre parents evening and not deliver such worrying news in an alloted 10 minute slot within earshot of other parents... what would you do?

Glad she is at a better school and has recovered, Dirty. Absolutely outrageous behaviour from her first school. Am very on your behalf. No one needs additional shit from the school, when their child is ill.

FionaBruise, I had electrolysis for chin hair - it lasted for about a year, it does take a long time.

I had sympathies for the OP hitting below the belt a bit because I know how concerned and caring mums are about their DCs starting school.

My electrolyisis beautician went on holiday and I got a different one who really zapped the hairs (it hurt a bit and left short-term marks) and the treatment only took a few sessions with her (after spending a fortune with the other one).

That's ok Pretty-the l.b is keeping my neck warm as the nights draw in :-)
hope you sort it out with teacher --maybe encourage your daughter to present teacher with a picture of her + ladybeard like my niece did to me the other day ;-)

Thanks Josie-good thinking... I was wondering whether my zapper could turn up the voltage to speed things up! Anyway SORRY OP to overtake thread momentarily with ladybeard talk. bad manners.

go ahead..i also have a hairy mole. it does on occasion look like the end of a leek if i forget to pluck.

What Niceguy said. What's the point of having sunshine blown up your arse, when really what you need to know is the facts about your child. It probably isn't easy to tell precious parents the difficult truth, but it is better in the long run. You need to stop your whining , it's a waste of energy. Instead use your energy to spend some time with her helping her to write and to recognise numbers.

kiwinkits the girl is only 4 and just started foundation. There is a way of doing it without being nasty and rude, there is no need for that. DD teachers are lovely, they tell you what her difficulties are and also what she is good at too, in a positive way, that's what it should be about. I had teachers like that at school, who would give my parents a character assasination on me (had un dx SN which dd now has) and they used to tell me to my face, my confidence hit rock bottom and I was convinced I was useless at everything when I was at Primary school . It was only when I entered adult Education that I encountered a positive can do attitude from tutors, which gave me the confidence I needed, and encouraged me to apply to uni. Well I have a 2.1 BA (hons) and a Merit in my MSc. Stuff you horrid teachers. A good teacher will get the best out of a child, a bad one will just add to their problems, like this one.

Teachers are professionals and should behave in a professional way

and sniggering at a childs difficulties, that is not on. I hope that the teacher does not behave like that towards the children. Sure way to put them off education for life! This teacher sounds like a very bad one.

crabapple, I think the consultant immunologist I spoke to about dd's virus infections would be fascinated by your medical insights- in his opinion there was nothing at all unusual about a child having the occasional virus infection which might take 5-7 days to recover from (and 5 days is, of course, a school week)

dd's GP said the same

but what would they know?- they're only doctors

fwiw dd does have a serious attendance problem due to a chronic disorder- and her headteacher predicted, like you, that she would be years behind by the time she got to secondary

fortunately, she decided to prove him wrong; she is keeping up with the top set and is predicted overall As in her GCSEs

but it could easily have become a self-fulfilling prophecy: the headteacher has told me I have no choice but to fail in life and I'm sure he knows....

Let's say OP's dd isn't 'getting' stuff yet. The parents evening should have been one of concern, let's work together or littered with she's a happy girl, or concentrates, or has friends. Lots of stuff to either be happy about to work on.

Haven't read all 212 posts - life is too short but....

The head teachers are under ridiculous pressures and ever moving targets/goal posts from central government to get ever younger children doing things that, for many, are simply beyond their developmental capability, to 'raise standards' (perform better in tests), etc.

This pressure gets passed onto the teachers who, at half termly pupil progress meetings are raked over the hot coals for any child who is not performing as they 'should be' - these (in my experience) are not two way, supportive, mutually beneficial sharing of professional experiences/judgements/opinion/ideas.

It cannot, therefore, be a surprise to parents, when this pressure ultimately filters down to them.

Or you could just ignore me as a bitter, downtrodden, bullied out of the profession ex-teacher. Love the children (and still do), despise the system. :-(

My DS has just started reception this year and can only reiterate what others have said. The parents evening is telling YOU their concerns at this stage of the game 6/7 weeks into school life.

I read on a previous thread that reception is mainly about getting little ones into a routine to begin with, especially if not been to nursery before and learning to follow instructions. In a class of lots of exciteable kiddies they have to learn to concentrate and follow instructions otherwise would be chaos!

Re: appearance - hand on heart I think you should dress quite smartly but have to again agree with others - if teacher is crawling on floor, having clothes used to wipe noses on and mucky hands what is the point? I think you just felt a little bit snippy.....

DD will probably have another parents evening in spring term and hopefully things will have improved.

DS is currently learning sounds and has sound box he brings home and that his homework every night - he has to sit still and concentrate for that 10 minutes - does your DD have the same?

DS also has the attention span of a gnat, cannot write very much and his artwork consists of scribble with the odd straight line - teacher was not at all concerned and said he was a typical boy who would rather consruct towers than write - it will all improve in time for Class 1

crabapple my dd had 'a virus' it was an autoimmune virus called Henoch Schonelein Pupura (HSP) and left her with kidney damage, she was a hardy little soul though (and the virus was no longer catching) and only missed school when she was hospitalised for her kidney biopsy and had half days off (insisted on being in in the mornings) for her hospital appointments, weekly for 6 months.

If it was up to me she would have been off a LOT more, but she wanted to be there so i had to let her go.

viruses come in all shapes and sizes and have affect different children in different ways (another girl in reception had HSP at the same time and had it much less severe with no kidney involvement) a week off for a virus in reception is not a flashing neon sign for how their overall attendance is going to be

dd is now in yr2 and she is at exactly the same level if not a higher one than the others, even though she still has hospital appointments every few months and has to be taken out of school

Sorry OP for going off piste a bit

I haven't read all the posts either, but I have a lot of sympathy with the OP. Children develop at hugely different rates, and it's very hard to generalise about what four year olds should be able to do. In a lot of countries, children don't start school until they're much older. And quite honestly, when a reception teacher has 30 kids to deal with, they don't know much about each individual child. A friend was told at her first parents' evening for DS that he needed to learn to count up to 10. Actually, he could already count up to 100 - at home. The teacher just hadn't cottoned onto the fact that he was a bright kid, which is understandable because after six weeks and 29 other kids to deal with, what are you going to be able to say about a child that's at all useful?

Of course teachers have to teleparents of their Childs difficulties, but no need to be rude and nasty as this teacher was, sniggering at op dd difficulties, not on.

You need to hear good things as well as bad, so you see what targets your child is meeting and which ones they are struggling with. It all helps to give a balanced view of how your child is coping at school. If you only hear the difficulties, then you are getting a skewed picture, which is as pointless as only hearing the good things.

Apologies as I haven't got time to read the whole thread but I think you are being very unreasonable. The teacher was trying to help you and your daughter by pointing out her difficulties. Knowing what she struggles with will help you help her.

I find your attitude towards her appearance insulting. My friend has a problem with facial hair and would be devastated to hear another adult be rude about it. It has no bearing on her abilities as a teacher.

I do think parents' meeting should be private though, and not within earshot of other parents.

Ophici the teacher was not just pointing out pods difficulties but being rude towards her, mocking her dd, boron and not professional

Like I said, I hadn't read the whole thread but still see no need for the rude comments about the teacher's appearance.

My mum was an expert at parents' evenings. Her favourite riposte was, "and what are you doing about it?" to any negative criticism. At secondary sch she also used to tell every teacher that their subject was our favourite and that we had talked about that teacher at home glowingly.

Her friend's daughter nearly got suspended for drinking on the school bus until my mum pointed out that if you ask teenage girls to bring in bottles of wine for Still Lifes in Art, you are asking for trouble and she should probably sue them for negligence. Cue reinstatement and huge apologies.

Mind you, we still got a bollocking when she came home from parents' evenings (not at 4yo though obvs).

Ha blonderedhead I do like the sound of your mum though!

Her friend's daughter nearly got suspended for drinking on the school bus until my mum pointed out that if you ask teenage girls to bring in bottles of wine for Still Lifes in Art, you are asking for trouble and she should probably sue them for negligence. Cue reinstatement and huge apologies

And that's something to be proud of? I doubt very much if the school specified full bottles: any parent with any sense would have provided empty ones.

the OP isn't making rude comments about the teacher to the teacher though. She has explained she was angry about the whole attitude and approach of the teacher.

Re: lady- beards - laser treatment got the worst of them, then a strimmer epilator is good

Re: crabapple. what?

perhaps she is like Nanny Mcphee and when all her students are high flyers she loses the beard!!!