to feel shocked that my 4 year old was slated on 1st parents evening

[prettyontheinside]

without using the word 'slow' my dd's ability to concentrate, obey simple instructions, even write her name correctly were all mentioned...a snigger also at the fact she struggled writing, recognising the number 9. i was also told "i'm here to tell it like it is" - now, i hadn't asked "does my bum look big in this"? but was there to discuss my child... i am thoroughly worried as i was also told she'd be 'left behind'...i did say i felt the child discussed isn't the girl i recognise. she's been writing her name for a year...could it be that her teacher lacks rapport with her charges, looks like an unmade bed (cords and cotton traders t's + trainers) and has a lady beard...in fact after a week off school with a virus the teacher in question did not even mention my child's return to class - to welcome or to reassure...all that aside, don't you think the school should perhaps have called me in pre parents evening and not deliver such worrying news in an alloted 10 minute slot within earshot of other parents... what would you do?

CrabApple Of course you might prefer the teachers who encourage time off, these are the ones who have accepted there is no hope, and want the kid out of the way so they can concentrate on the good attenders who can keep up.

My sons teach (and indeed headteacher) encouraged me to keep him off school when he was ill 2 weeks ago. They have most definately NOT written him off, in fact at his parents evening last week, I was told he is one of the most intelligent children in his class, and despite his week off is still ahead of most of his peers.

At our school they also say to keep children out if they are ill.

Preschool too, come to think of it.

Because parents are rather prone to bringing their children in even if they are ill.

Don't know what crabapples is on about TBH.

"Poor work ethic"?
Oh FFS
Arbeit macht frei eh Crabapple?
Get a grip.
Not everybody on this planet is a pathetic little wage slave.

But there is no pattern with 1week off. Fine to make that judgement after it being repeated at various times throughout the year but I absolutely disagree with your statement that 95% of the time this will be repeated.

Last year my eldest 2 had swine flu (we know it was swine flu as it was early and the teacher was swabbed). About 80% of their class had it. DS had 2.5wks off with it he was so ill. DD1 had 1 week off as she was nowhere near as bad. Does that mean I was lying? That I don't care about their education? That there was a 95% chance it would be a lazy pattern on my part? This was October btw and she didn't have any more time off all year. Why am I lazy with regards her and not DS1?

As a former teacher who has also worked in the EWD, I can say two things. Firstly, unless a pattern was emerging I have never, ever known a teacher, school or EWO to assume one would simply based on the fact that a child had a virus. And secondly, NO EWO is ever remotely interested in a 4yr old who does not legally need to be in school. They have no jurisdiction and know full well that parents can tell them to sod off until the term after a child is 5. Therefore, ime, they're resources are stretched enough without bothering to chase up ill children showing no truanting pattern who don't legally need to be there anyway.

Well ,I am a qualified pathologust, so may well know more about viruses than others on thisthread.

After years ( more than 2 decades of expeience) of working with educational social workers, probation officers etc, I know what I am talking about.

No I'm not "being silly" I'm telling it like it is, in the hope that a bit of plain speaking might make someone (anyone!) think twice about slipping into the "one week of for a virus " habit

their resources.

Working with EWO and social workers may well bring you into contact with families where patterns do emerge but that is not the same as making an assumption that a pattern will emerge based on one occurance.

You are not much of a scientist if you cannot see that.

As I said, it MIGHT be genuine, most of these cases are not.

A "pathologust" eh???

The plot thickens

Well my dad's a GP and when one of the kids is ill he takes a look at them and 8 times out of 10 you know what he says? "Probably a virus... Give it a few days and if they're not on the mend take them to the doc". This from a man whose credo was "if you're well enough to get out of bed then you're well enough to go to school" and is the least "workshy" person I know.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

[crabapple] is a teacher on another planet! Good thing there are lovely ones at dd school. I think that she is a teacher of the days of olde. As a teacher [crab] I would expect you to be able to read, the op said that her dd had mouth ulcers, she could not eat and was weak so how on earth would you expect her to go to school, would you like to deal with a grumpy sick 4 year old for 6 hours! She is only little fgs and here you are writing her off and mapping out her future. You sound like one of those teachers at my Primary school who did just that to me, I wish she could see me now!

precisely, "if your well enough to get out of bed you are well enough to go to school"

Am relieved to hear that you are not a teacher. Your spelling is shocking.

piglermania - Like I said, milkshake is the usual under these cricumstances

loving the coast - no, I'm telling telling you how it is - you might not like it, but there's not much I can do about that

That old mantra, I don't think so. When I had D/V I could get out of bed: to run to the loo and be sick and sit on the toilet whilst my insides fell out!

Does not mean I was well enough for work

'Well ,I am a qualified pathologust, so may well know more about viruses than others on thisthread.'

Perhaps you work more sympathetically with those who are past caring whether you think they're slacking.

DS2 survived on milkshake for a few days, no way he could have gone to school though! He was far too weak/grumpy to be anywhere other than with me!

How it is with whom? As I said, I'm a former teacher and have never heard any teachers ever express an assumption that because a child have one week off then that must be the start of a pattern.

I have also worked in the Education Welfare department of a large LEA and have also never come across this attitude. Though this is probably because schools do not refer pupils to the EWO for one period of absence with an assumption that a pattern will emerge. Finally, the EWD has no interest in 4yr olds not yet of statutory school age.

posies

Crabapple - I'm sorry, I seem to have steeped into a parallel universe where any of what you say is relevant to the OP

Crabapple- your argument is not persuasive. Nor is it accurate, empathic, reasonable, or logical.

TBH you come across as deeply cynical.

Most parents are not letting their kids stay off school when they are well- rather the opposite. Especially when you work and are having to take time off yourself.