to feel shocked that my 4 year old was slated on 1st parents evening

[prettyontheinside]

without using the word 'slow' my dd's ability to concentrate, obey simple instructions, even write her name correctly were all mentioned...a snigger also at the fact she struggled writing, recognising the number 9. i was also told "i'm here to tell it like it is" - now, i hadn't asked "does my bum look big in this"? but was there to discuss my child... i am thoroughly worried as i was also told she'd be 'left behind'...i did say i felt the child discussed isn't the girl i recognise. she's been writing her name for a year...could it be that her teacher lacks rapport with her charges, looks like an unmade bed (cords and cotton traders t's + trainers) and has a lady beard...in fact after a week off school with a virus the teacher in question did not even mention my child's return to class - to welcome or to reassure...all that aside, don't you think the school should perhaps have called me in pre parents evening and not deliver such worrying news in an alloted 10 minute slot within earshot of other parents... what would you do?

Stacey M - it has NOTHING to do with the amount of time off, it is the attitude the parent is showing to attendance (and therefore education)

I would have nothing but sympathy for a child who needed 6 weeks off for flu.

I would have a deep suspician of any mother sending a note in to say their child had needed a week off with a virus, and I would have utter contempt for a mother who did it twice ( and 95% of mothers who do this once will do it twice)

A teacher who did this would find their job on the line.

I totally despair of the life chance of children who get set this sort of example. What is the point of teachers spending 4 years at university, one year probation,then working 55 hour weeks, if the pupils they are dedicated to educating are predestined to be totally unemployable from their very first days at school. How on Earth can these children be expected to develop any kind of comitment or work ethic?

( and a note explaining a week off involving the excuse "mouth ulcers" would be met with total derision in the staff room)

Utter contempt?

Crikey. Marvellous.

yes, like it or not, that is the truth, and is born from experience

So, is a virus not a valid illness? Do you need specific medical details to make it valid?

Are you sayikng your dd will get upset that other children on her table write better than her? hOW ON EART DOES A 4 YEAR OLD EVEN NOTICE THINGS LIKE THAT UNLESS THEY ARE TOLD

No viruses are not a valid illness and will get you treated with contempt.

Proper illnesses like flu, chickenpox however are acceptable reasons for time off.

Even though they are viruses.

And there's that Human Immonodificiency VIRUS thingy too... clearly just made up!

crabapple the child is only 4 fgs, and you are talking about what may happen in 14/15 years time. How do you know you are not a psychic! Children change, never in the month of Sundays would I ever think that I would go to Uni and get higher degrees judging by my performance in Primary schools, but he people change, develop etc. Btw viruses can be Flu, are you medically qualified?

My DS2 was hospitalised and tube fed for 4 days, at the age of 3 weeks, with a virus! I wonder had he had that same virus at the age of 4 if his teacher would treat me with contempt

I think it's quite frightening the lack of basic common knowledge displayed by a supposed teacher here. Ebola, HIV, Influenza? What have they got in common? Each is a virus and each can and does kill. What about Rotavirus? Kills 4 children every year. Children routinely spread Slapped Cheek (Parvovirus) around schools because their parents don't keep them off... it can cause women to miscarry or have stillborn babies.

Yet you only speak the truth, eh? And defend it despite your woeful ignorance and refutation by a number of parents whose children have suffered seriously when afflicted by different viruses. Shocking.

I'm not talking about these situations at all, as I have stated, I have nothing but sympathy for genuinly ill children, and am very well aware of how many serious viruses there are, but I'm not talking about that at all.

I am talking about the type of attendance pattern that this could well be the begining off.

Children get mild 24 hour viruses occasionally, and may take an extra 24 hours off after, to recover.

Children more rarely get more seriously ill, and may need a lot of time off.

And then there isthis patten of extended 1 week absences for nothing.

This is what sounds the warning bells. This is when the attendance officer will be informed.

It might be genuine. 95% of the time it is the start of a repeating pattern which effectively flushes the kid's education down the pan.

This is the basic cause of most "learning difficulties" illiteracy, social exclusion unemployability, etc which costs the whole of society, and costs the children most dearly of all.

Why shoulod I feel anything but contempt for parents who's basic laziness, lack of support for education, and sloppy parenting effectivly makes it impossible for their children to achieve, and then blame the teacher, who has probably done everything humanly possile for the child, but was in a totally no win situation from day one?

Crabapple, when I was teaching, if I'd received a note from a parent explaining that their child had an ulcerated mouth and was unable to eat, I would be sympathetic. Any teacher who would treat such a note with derision is a heartless bitch and shouldn't be anywhere near children, let alone teaching them for a living!

So would I be sympathetic, as long as they were in school.

Crabapple, how on earth is a child, who is too ill to eat, expected to come to school? I'm so glad yuo're not my DS' teacher!

I don't think that children who are not able to eat should be in school (unless they have permanent alternative feeding arrangement but that's not what we're talking about here).

A 4yo who is in pain and cannot eat should not be in school. They will be weak and miserable and probably cry the whole time and/or fall asleep. Why on earth anyone would think a 4yo in that state should be in school is beyond me. I also suspect that rather than instilling a tremendous work ethic in said 4yo, the reverse would happen and they would associate school with misery. Great result.

These posts can't be entirely genuine surely?

In the first term of school you would take a week of as a possible beginning of a attendance pattern, wtaf?

My best friend as a child had appalling asthma - she rarely completed a full week at school and was off for prolonged spells in hospital.
She is now a Professor at an esteemed university.
I think you are being a bit hysterical about all this Crabapple.
Especially as the OP is talking about a 4yo.

Teachers seem to forget that young children get extremely tired. I will not send a very tired pre-schooler to school. Ever. And any teacher who contests it can kiss my big fatty spotty arse.

Many many children can't eat Any child who has ever had an ulcer/ a brace/ a loose tooth/ a cut tongue, will have days when they cannot eat. Milkshake is the usual inthese circumstance. A child (7) who had four teeth removed just before the summer holidays came in every day with a flask of soup and a straw.
What I'm finding deeply shocking is the casual attitude to attendance some posters on here are showing.

Really?

You don't want a teacher who care's enough about their children to get angry their prospects are sabataged by unnessessarily poor attendance?

really?

Of course you might prefer the teachers who encourage time off, these are the ones who have accepted there is no hope, and want the kid out of the way so they can concentrate on the good attenders who can keep up.

I have to admit there are times when I have been tempted!!

Esta3GG - I'll say it again. The length of the absence is irrelevant. The issue is the parent's attitude to attendance, and that is shown by this sort of "Week off for a virus" type mentality.

I'd like a teacher who doesn't purport to have a crystal ball that can write off a four year old on the basis of parental caution when they are ill.

I'd like a teacher whose knowledge of special educational needs and social disadvantage extended beyond her own prejudice that it was due to parental laziness.

Most of all, I'd like a teacher who doesn't use an extraneous apostrophe where it has no place in a verb.

Many many children can't eat?

For days on end?

"after a trip to the g.p. she was given an oral spray as the virus had left her with an ulcerated roof of mouth. she ate little and was very weak and poorly"

Not quite the same as a cut tongue.

I think you are being silly for the sake of it now.

Fact - poor attendance, and the resultant poor work ethic is often down to lazy and sloppy parenting.

What else do you call it when Kids are off school for nothing?

A four year old doesn't legally have to be in school anyway .

A week of for a virus is absolutely suitable for many viruses.

Do you know what a virus is?