To believe I shouldn't be accosted about where I leave my shopping trolley?

[ExquisiteCake]

Has just returned from the hell hole that is Tesco. I parked in Parent & Baby as I am a parent, with a baby (20 mo) and am due another in 2 weeks. In this particular Tesco, the P&B spaces are no where near the entry door but are near the shelter, so you can get out and walk under the shelter to the door, retrieve a trolley and go shopping. However on your way out, you can use the exit door right next to the P&B parking, so you don't have to wheel a heavy trolley the 2 mile stretch across the car park. However, you have to put the trolley back near the front door, as there is no trolley park within 50 yards of the P&B section. Not happy leaving my son strapped in the car alone, nor loving the idea of lugging him on my hip in the pouring rain, I pushed my trolley (once emptied) near to the exit door, under the shelter as the woman next to me had parked and was getting out, and I figured she could retrieve it as the seat was dry etc.

Some absolute knob head walked past with his trolley in his fucking cheese cloth suit and said;

"Oh just going to LEAVE it there are you?".

I was half in the car, and I said,

"Excuse me?"

Him: "You. Leaving that there."

Me: "It is not my fault that Tesco do not provide a trolley park near enough the parenting spaces so I don't have to leave my baby in the car alone while I dance across the car park".

Him: "You have legs, you CAN walk, don't just leave it there".

Me: "It isn't upside down in the sea, is it? I don't see it has anything to do with you, if it offends you so much, get a job here and see if they'll let you collect the trollies".

Got in my car and drove off doing the wanker gesture as I went past him.

I'd like to add, he was parked 2 spaces over from me WITHOUT A CHILD. Which I know is not a legal right blah blah, but he had the bloody audacity to quiz me on supermarket etiquette. What a dick.

Don't tell me he was right, I may hang myself.

I agree R&T - all very competitive. Hmm, hark me, i'm not a lazy good for nothing beatch, i'm a martyrrrrr

"poor folk like Kungfu'

Er, that is actually quite belittling. I'm not 'poor folk'. I'm someone who happens to be having a relatively straightforward pregnancy and has discovered that it is entirely possible to carry on business as usual.

If you find pregnancy such hard going that pushing a trolley or lifting shopping bags are such big issues then that is a shame, but no need to assume that applies to all of us. I don't particularly find it a fun time, but there is nothing about it that stops me going about my daily business, doing the shopping, commuting, doing my job, looking after my toddler and generally not putting my life on hold.

Pregnant women are not automatically in need of sympathy.

And just noticed your suggestion that cooking is another 'pointless task that pregnant women should be exempt from'.

What exactly do you think pregnant women should do for 9 months? Not work, not cook, not clean, not shop? That sounds dangerously like the old practice of sending women into confinement for half their pregnancy.

Just read up. R&T there isn't a Waitrose nearby and Ocado don't deliver here. There is a Sainsbos but it's s longer drive and I'm only short so bump and legs don't fit behind the wheel too well! I also wouldn't advocate eating ready meals. I still have a toddler and husband to feed regardless to being pregnant! Stealth I am in SW you?

I think pregnant women should have the choice, if you feel like pottering about the shops or the kitchen great, if you feel like taking it easy just as fine - there are folks over on the pregnancy thread who would appreciate a little help from others with seats on trains and the like - I don't see a problem with this at all - some women would have hated confinment, others would have loved it.

I have to push a trolley, it's the only thing holding me up at the moment :o I would love to be able to walk round Tesco for 2 hours unaided!

I was tempted to climb in the trolley but then I'd have no one to push me!

"Insulting women that accept help during pregnancy isn't necessary Soup"

I know and I didn't.

I was commenting on those who expect it.

Pregnancy is not an illness (there are, obviously, pregnancy related illnesses) and we've been doing it and managing for centuries. Millennia even. If pregnant women really were delicate little flowers we would have died out as a species long ago.

"would the world be any worse if those of us who aren't or can't be that way gave some TLC to those who are"

In a way, yes it would because women already have to fight to prove they are as good/valuable/worthwhile as men in the workplace. The idea that a pregnant woman needs to be pampered and looked after would make things worse or at least not make them better).

What soup dragon said.

I think that it must also be awfully galling for those women who have horrendous pregnancies, with health problems and enforced bed rest or hospital stays, to hear the suggestion that a perfectly healthy pregnant woman shouldn't have to do the basic, everyday tasks that they would probably love to be able to just get on and do.

Who knew that shopping trolleys were worthy of such controversy!

My FIL who is 88 and frail was knocked down by a trolley blowing across the car park.
For goodness sake even if teh trolley park was 100m away how long would it have taken to walk there and back? a minute tops.You could have easily locked your toddler in the car strapped in his seat for a few seconds.Or pushed him there and carried him back.

See thats the thing - getting all het-up and blowing a little bit of kindness into a big feminismy thingy.

Yes sure there are probably a few women who expect everyone to run around after them, and thats just horrid self-centeredness.

But surely small acts of kindess and thoughtfulness could just be part of us all rubbing along together.

There is a difference between random acts of kindness and thinking pregnancy is a reason to be exempt from certain tasks.

I woud like to think people can offer kindness to anyone regardless of their capacity for having children. There are certainly people who need it more than some women who just happen to be pregnant.

But you aren't talking about small acts of kindness. You are saying that pregnant women shouldn't push trollies and should be exempt from cooking!

Kindness and consideration makes everyone's lives nicer. Exempting an entire section of society from normal, everyday tasks for no good reason just fosters the attitude that they are lesser beings who can't cope.

X-posted with soup dragon

Hmm I have made a couple of comments to Rosemary (yesterday ) but coming back to this thread I now detect a tongue inside her cheek and a naughty twinkle in her eye .
You is a monkey Rosemary. Oh yes you is

I used to get the rage when people would tell me all the things I couldn't/shouldn't/mustn't do when I was pregnant because invariably it was fine to do whatever I was doing.

Basic manners, random acts of kindness, politeness etc are completely different from being patronised and treated like an idiot.

OP, WHY on earth did you go on a Saturday morning then ? Why why WHY?????

Do you LIKE stress?

Could you not have left toddler with the dad (is he in the picture?), your mum? a friend? or done on-line shopping? Or shop at a quieter moment? So many choices.

You were anti social.

Then the horrid man came.

then you did the wanker sign.

Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Pregnancy isn't the same for everyone, is it?

Last pregnancy, I was hale and hearty, walking up to five miles a day throughout. This pregnancy I have been to A and E because of severe ongoing hip and back pain and have been threatening miscarriage since early on. It has been horrendous, my mood is AWFUL, I feel really low and tired and depleted.

I don't know if I would leave the trolley/move the trolley/think about the trolley, can't even imagine pushing one today. Totally different to my last pregnancy. Why does it have to be a competition?

The world would be a better place if people weren't, say, dying of starvation and war every day. Having an extra set of pampered little princesses waddling about isn't really going to do anything other than piss off over half the population

This, absolutely ^

No-one's saying pregnant women should feel the need to climb Everest but dear god....pushing a bloody trolley of shopping around is just a normal task and not something we should be depending on others to do purely because we're 'pregnant and don't feel like it'.

Imagine 9 months of being pandered to and waited on hand and foot throughout a normal healthy pregnancy. Apart from the obvious lack of exercise, having to actually look after and feed said baby would come as quite a shock to the pregnant princess.

Unless of course they're going to be pampered post pregnancy and for the following 12 months too....

I do think people like to help pregnant ladies, the Tesco staff here were really pleased (or relieved) to meet my new baby after all the help they'd given me. Hubby was overjoyed to be dished-up a home cooked meal after several weeks of lean cuisene packets.

No need to get in a rage Kate with people who natter about what shouldn't be done in pregnancy, a few folk might have some out-of-date notions but most will be thinking back to their experiances and things they would have liked to do differently in hind-sight (like not venturing out on a drizzly day with a toddler to push a trolly......)

I don't think anyone relishes the thought of venturing out on a drizzly day with a toddler to push a trolley do they? Why should pregnancy make them any different?

As for not eating properly when pregnant well that's just daft and very selfish. It doesn't take more than half an hour to cook a decent meal rather than feeding the family shit for weeks.

...the Tesco staff here were really pleased (or relieved) to meet my new baby after all the help they'd given me

I suspect they were actually just polite. And thankful the entitled pregnant woman was gone...

Oh, and I never got the rage with people "nattering" I got the rage with people who discriminated against pregnant women and who treated me as if I was simple/incapable/a liability because I was pregnant. Ironic that at the point where I had two brains I was treated as if I had only half of one.

Pregnancy makes everything a little bit harder worral - as OP says, she is also finding it difficult to drive so she'll be that much more irritable before she even starts shopping - advice like - don't drive unless you have too, try to get someone to help with younger child, trolly pushing, get some emergency frozen meals in, that sort of thing, just practical helpful advice really.

"As for not eating properly when pregnant well that's just daft and very selfish. It doesn't take more than half an hour to cook a decent meal rather than feeding the family shit for weeks."

I presume you are saying the husband is selfish for not cooking a decent meal?