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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To believe I shouldn't be accosted about where I leave my shopping trolley?

213 replies

ExquisiteCake · 12/11/2011 12:24

Has just returned from the hell hole that is Tesco. I parked in Parent & Baby as I am a parent, with a baby (20 mo) and am due another in 2 weeks. In this particular Tesco, the P&B spaces are no where near the entry door but are near the shelter, so you can get out and walk under the shelter to the door, retrieve a trolley and go shopping. However on your way out, you can use the exit door right next to the P&B parking, so you don't have to wheel a heavy trolley the 2 mile stretch across the car park. However, you have to put the trolley back near the front door, as there is no trolley park within 50 yards of the P&B section. Not happy leaving my son strapped in the car alone, nor loving the idea of lugging him on my hip in the pouring rain, I pushed my trolley (once emptied) near to the exit door, under the shelter as the woman next to me had parked and was getting out, and I figured she could retrieve it as the seat was dry etc.

Some absolute knob head walked past with his trolley in his fucking cheese cloth suit and said;

"Oh just going to LEAVE it there are you?".

I was half in the car, and I said,

"Excuse me?"

Him: "You. Leaving that there."

Me: "It is not my fault that Tesco do not provide a trolley park near enough the parenting spaces so I don't have to leave my baby in the car alone while I dance across the car park".

Him: "You have legs, you CAN walk, don't just leave it there".

Me: "It isn't upside down in the sea, is it? I don't see it has anything to do with you, if it offends you so much, get a job here and see if they'll let you collect the trollies".

Got in my car and drove off doing the wanker gesture as I went past him.

I'd like to add, he was parked 2 spaces over from me WITHOUT A CHILD. Which I know is not a legal right blah blah, but he had the bloody audacity to quiz me on supermarket etiquette. What a dick.

Don't tell me he was right, I may hang myself.

OP posts:
zest01 · 12/11/2011 23:00

If it suits me to leave my trolley in a non desinated area, providing it's not in a car parking space or at risk of rolling then I will do it. I couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else thinks because life's too short for dwelling on it. The guy was a wanker, I probably would have just laughed in his face and then pointed out that as he's such a stickler for the rules he might want to consider parking a space for people without young children.

You know that you could out your trolley away properly if you wanted to, but he will probably always be a wnker accosting heavily pregnant women ins upermarket carparks, the poor lamb...... Wink

mumblecrumble · 12/11/2011 23:02

Rosemary and Tyhme - do you interent shop?

I;ve just looked up onoxious as I wanted to see the exact definition - I don;t think I was being higly offensive by showing off.

I like the wanking signal. I may try to include it in at least two conversations tomorrow. Could be interesting at my grandmas Birthday meal - I may invite her to join in the game....

Sorry for ramblings.... waiting for DH to get home after work after we've not seen each other much this week.....

mumblecrumble · 12/11/2011 23:03

ZEST - you make the point I made so badly much better. Yes.

mumblecrumble · 12/11/2011 23:04

And to be fair to Roasmary - I found that doing supply teaching work in a science lab was scary is bump high desks were moved around... so maybe you feel likfe that with trolleys.

RosemaryandThyme · 12/11/2011 23:09

If I was pregnant again I would definately prefer on-line shopping to going to Tesco's.

Why is it such an odd thought that pregnancy should exempt you from some of naffer day to day jobs ?
Am sure that a lack of TLC and high self-care increases the chances of PND in some way.

OP wouldn't you rather shop on-line next week ?

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown · 12/11/2011 23:12

I left a trolley (with the brake on) in the undercover walkway at Asda the other day, partly because it was pissing down with rain and I didn't want to get wet, and partly for the next parent, because all the other trolleys with baby seats were not undercover, so the seats were all wet.

Also, kudos to the OP for managing socks in late pregnancy, I couldn't reach to put them on after 6 months or so! Blush

ExquisiteCake · 12/11/2011 23:15

I did say that Tesco had an issue with their website which is why I went in the first place! Also I live in Wales so bags aren't free anymore.

OP posts:
ExquisiteCake · 12/11/2011 23:16

Oh yes must wear socks. Merely for the exercise of attempting to bend down that far. Justifies that third croissant I had for breakfast Grin

OP posts:
RosemaryandThyme · 12/11/2011 23:21

What ! - how on earth can they charge you for bags in Wales but not in England !!

Am really disliking Tescos.

If your stuck again do you have a Waitrose you could pop to instead - their trolly's are smaller so less heavy and you can get some lovely ready meals to reduce the need for cooking when you get home (another pointless chore pregnant ladies should be exempt from !)

Pendeen · 12/11/2011 23:22

iggi999

Not a 4x4 at all.

My beautiful Alfa Romeo.

Lazy bastard, whoever he/she was.

StealthPenguin · 12/11/2011 23:28

Ooooh, ExquisiteCake, I'm a Welshian too :) Wherefore art thou?

And I still think YANBU. Everyone else can waste their time returning trolleys and leaving children in cars - me? I do it my way. Hardcore, me.

worraliberty · 13/11/2011 00:39

Dear fucking god Rosemary how do you think pregnant mothers operate in the real world with younger children to care for? Confused

madmomma · 13/11/2011 00:59

YANBU

I'm also heavily pregnant, with a baby in tow, and I have left my trolley wherever's most convenient, so long as it's not too close to any cars. I seriously could not give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut what some random bloke makes of that, nor do I care what people percieve pregnant women as 'able' to do. People are different, pregnancies are different & you do what you need to do.

Coralanne · 13/11/2011 05:28

I'm starting to wonder how I managed to get my shopping done when my Dcs were babies. No such thing as Parent and Baby car spaces then.

Where I shop, you have to put a coin in the slot to obtain a trolley. If you want your money back, you have to take it back to the trolley bay and click it into the next trolley to retrieve your money.

my2centsis · 13/11/2011 07:12

Havnt read whole thread, i am undecided on this 1.
I think that guy was a rude idiot and would have said something to him about were he was parked. Douche
On the other hand I'm 8months pregnant and have a 3yr old, yes ur dc is younger then mine but when it's raining I still carry her as it's faster.
I manage to take my trollies back every single time.

TandB · 13/11/2011 08:30

I'm with my2centsis. I am a confusing mix if YANBU and YABU.

The man was a bit of an officious tit - YANBU to be irritated

It really wasn't that big a deal - wanker gestures and ringing your husband to tell him about it - seriously? - YABU

Being pregnant does not, in the absence of complications or health conditions, render you either incapable or exempt from perfectly normal tasks - YABU, but not as U as rosemaryandthyme

A 20 month old is perfectly capable of being left in a car for 2 mins while you return a trolley - YABU

So, in summary, no you were not unreasonable to think he was an idiot, but you are unreasonable to think that pregnancy and croc-wearing are barriers to putting your trolley back - if you just said 'actually I couldn't be arsed' I would still think you were right to think the man was a tit.

And rosemaryandthyme - how do pregnant women function in your world? I am 33 weeks and last week i commuted across London with a 28 pound toddler on my back and a case full of court files, before trekking round London hand delivering urgent papers for a case and then reversing the commute. By your logic I should probably lie down for the rest of my pregnancy to recover.....

Crabapple99 · 13/11/2011 08:39

you made a completely reasonable judgement and he was a sanctimonous git.

RosemaryandThyme · 13/11/2011 08:41

Wouldn't it be a better world if pregnant ladies got lots of TLC ?

There are no brownie points for making pregnancy extra hard for yourself.

All this "I climbed mount everest 8 centimetres dilated with a rhino on my back" - well great if you want to, but you shouldn't have to.

If you feel like having all your goodies delivered, putting on your softest slippers and dropping toddler off round nanny's for the day that's just as valid a way of spending your pregnancy, and for some of us a whole lot more enjoyable.

Animation · 13/11/2011 08:48

That guy just wanted to put you in your place - glad you gave him some back!

Don't take his objection like he literally cared about what should or shouldn't be done. Just an aggressive buggar, and must have seen you'd all on - with baby and heavily pregnant.

minimisschief · 13/11/2011 08:54

love to know what world you all live in.

Yabu because you are making excuses to not put the trolly where they are suppose to go. It really comes down to you not being bothered.

do you not realise how easy it is for those things to roll into peoples cars or into oncoming cars if not put away properly.

i think common sense escapes alot of you.

SoupDragon · 13/11/2011 08:57

"Wouldn't it be a better world if pregnant ladies got lots of TLC ?"

Er not really, no.

The world would be a better place if people weren't, say, dying of starvation and war every day. Having an extra set of pampered little princesses waddling about isn't really going to do anything other than piss off over half the population.

IwanttobeShirleyValentine · 13/11/2011 09:05

The trolley person would be without a job if every single person put their trolleys back!

I have to be honest though and admint there was a handful of times when my 2 DC were toddler and baby and I did leave my trolley in a similar situation to you, because I could not carry or not want to drag baby and toddler across a huge car park in the peeing down rain nor leave them unsupervised in the car. Really Supermarkets really need to ensure that there are adequate trolley stations especially in/near parent and child parking areas.

On the otherhand I have been on the receiving end of having an abandoned trolley bash/roll/be blown into the side of my 3 month old car and that really pissed me off.

Andrewofgg · 13/11/2011 09:12

SoupDragon pregnancy isn't going to be abolished anytime soon so there will be pregnant women around for ever! Unless you believe that women will get pregnant so as to be given TLC by strangers - which sounds a bit unlikely - we can put Rosemary's question the other way round - would the world be any worse if those of us who aren't or can't be that way gave some TLC to those who are?

CurrySpice · 13/11/2011 09:12

OP I was with you all the way UNTIL you said you were wearing crocs with socks.

on that point alone YABU

(on the rest, no you're NBU :o)

RosemaryandThyme · 13/11/2011 09:17

Why oh why do women have to turn on each other like this ?

Most women here will have been pregnant, many will have had times when they felt pregnancy made them more vulnerable, sleepy, exhausted etc why not help each other out ?

Insulting women that accept help during pregnancy isn't necessary Soup, and many people do like helping others out.

Being all hard-nosed just makes poor folk like Kungfu think they need to march on regardless of being pregnant - can't help thinking that too many days like the one she described of dashing about town would be really tiring, hope you get to stop your job when you feel ready to Kungfu.