Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to want to know if DogsBestFriend has been banned from mumsnet?

999 replies

GetOrf · 07/11/2011 19:43

Because if she has been I would like to know why.

OP posts:
chickchickchicken · 07/11/2011 21:35

justine - your post a few pages back has left a bad taste in my mouth

this is why. at best you were misleading, at worst you were factually incorrect when you stated that there was a 'poor woman a while back who got into trouble for not being able to cope with her dog after her dh died'

i was on that thread and your statement does not reflect what actually happened. no-one knew that poster had lost her dh as she didnt say in her OP. yet you make it sound as if people knew but still had a go. your statement also implies that she was attacked for not coping with the dog. that is not true. people disagreed with her method of selling the dog to someone she didnt know and NOT about not being able to cope with dog

really, i cannot have respect for you quoting from a thread in such an inaccurate way. its not just a difference of opinion - mine and yours - but your statement is not factually correct

it does leave a bad taste in my mouth as it seems you have a personal dislike of dbf. there were lots of posters with strong opinions on that thread.

i am not sure i even want to stay on this site and i never thought i would say that. the inconsistencies are becoming unpalatable. it is sickening to see posts about rape and derogatory language about special needs stand and then you get all high and mighty about the doghouse

LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/11/2011 21:35

silver - yes, that'd be good, to have it with a deleted post.

I think it'd make it much easier for posters who feel attacked to feel they're ok. TBH, I find the current process of (apparently) letting some posters get badly upset and hurt ... and then, after a long and private escalation of warnings, banning te poster in question, doesn't really seem the best way to make anyone happy.

reelingintheyears · 07/11/2011 21:35

Pinot Mon 07-Nov-11 21:34:18

YY DBF is Vall.

I had no idea.

pictish · 07/11/2011 21:35

If DBF has had many warnings, MNHQ were right to draw the line. It's fine to be passionate, but evangelical and forceful of your beliefs onto others is wrong.
I agree with MNHQ. So now let my slaying commence........

Totally agree with this. You may chargrill me also.

DownbytheRiverside · 07/11/2011 21:36

'(eg I have been deleted for telling someone to fuck off. not particularly naice language, I will admit, but I do not understand how it is a personal attack)'

Me too and me neither. Grin

531800000008 · 07/11/2011 21:36

all those who are asking for the Vaunda stuff, read the thread again. Links to Vaunda stuff already posted

abbierhodes · 07/11/2011 21:36

Justine
Does this stuff get decided by a group of you or just you? Because lots anf lots of people have disagreed over whether what DBF said was a personal attack, and only you who thinks it was. So is it just a case of 'it's my website and I'm kicking her off'?

Now, to be fair, it is your website...but we've built up a community here. It wouldn't be what it is without us.

LeBOF · 07/11/2011 21:37

DBF posted fair comment. Others on that thread were far worse, and knew less about the situation, and didn't have the excuse of even caring, tbh. Yet because the thread went tits up, DBF got the blame.

Oh, and I was being sarcastic to MrGuy, btw, although I see lots of others agreed with his post.

bananamam · 07/11/2011 21:37

Grinpictish

Thingumy · 07/11/2011 21:38

Agrees with bananamam.

prioneyes · 07/11/2011 21:38

What the actual FUCK? You can't ban someone as useful and knowledgeable as her! Her wisdom and experience are what makes The Doghouse a genuinely useful place for owners with problems, as opposed to any old forum with a dog section where people share crap advice and exacerbate one another's troubles.

She is forthright, blunt, abrupt and at times very abrasive. But I have never seen her react aggressively in the first instance, she is only aggressive (for want of a better word, as I don't really feel that she is - I get the distinct feeling she's actually tempering herself much of the time and would like to let rip with much worse) towards posters who are not taking on board her advice, are not taking responsibility or are not facing up to justified criticism.

I think a quick cost-benefit analysis of what her posts brought to the site will tell you that banning her is a shitty decision.

I don't often get sucked into this who's-been-banned-now thing because to be honest we all get over it pretty quick, but on this occasion, MNHQ, you are wrong.

bottleofbeer · 07/11/2011 21:38

Personal attacks when you're a genuine poster do make you feel lousy.

Last week I was (completely out of the blue) attacked.

I retaliated after the attacks escalated. It was removed, the attacks remained.

picturelibrary · 07/11/2011 21:38

I was shocked at the arrogant and judgemental way DBF answered a recent query about whelping

I agree very much with pictish that she could be very OTT. I certainly didn't like her posting style and can see that it would stop many people asking for help and advice.

It is very clear, however, that she cares enormously about animal welfare and went well out of her way to help dogs in need. I admire her for that.

DoingTheBestICan · 07/11/2011 21:39

If DBF has had many warnings, MNHQ were right to draw the line. It's fine to be passionate, but evangelical and forceful of your beliefs onto others is wrong.
I agree with MNHQ. So now let my slaying commence........

Totally agree with this. You may chargrill me also.

Agree,you can toast me too.

Pinot · 07/11/2011 21:39

reeling - it wasn't a big secret, she's open about n/c. I haven't outed her I don't think

ColdSancerre - :o Please do!

AitchTwoOh · 07/11/2011 21:39

"LindsayWagner Mon 07-Nov-11 20:55:40
Way I see..
DLES is simply the engine which tipped DBF over into 'banned'.
It doesn't matter if DBF has helped lots of people - many here have.
What matters is the number of people she's terrified. That puts them off the whole site, from which they might have gained support etc.
Oldies have seen it many times - poster is knowledgeable, poster is forthright, poster gains kudos, poster turns into a bit of a fucking mare."

AMEN

i have a friend who used this site occasionally... she ventured into the Doghouse to ask about a puppy her mother was adopting... and was torn apart by dbf et al for Not Doing It Properly. she will never come onto MN again. which is a shame as she's a great person and you would all have liked her very much.

the dog, btw, has been a HUGE success and is a brilliant addition to the family, dbf if you are reading... so you were quite wrong.

LeBOF · 07/11/2011 21:40

DBF was actually pretty measured given the circumstances, and has noticeably mellowed to new posters.

SecretNutellaFix · 07/11/2011 21:40

How is fact, judgemental?

She stated her case directly without being abusive.

mummynoseynora · 07/11/2011 21:40

justine , can you make a decision already?! I have ignored my DH all evening so far on this!! Grin

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 07/11/2011 21:40

belleend please dont be put off from The Doghouse, yes people get a bee in their bonnet about some things, but if you want a dog then that is a fabulous place for advice. Although I support rescue organisations with no kill policies I have 2 GSD from a fabulous breeder.

There are rescue people, those of us who buy and foster dogs in emergencies, breeders, people who work their dogs, vets, vet nurses and all sorts.

Read to page 4 then had to skip to 22 as I have been on MN all evening, but here is my tuppence worth.

I joined MUMSNET because I loved the fact that I could say what I actually thought without sugar coating it ala NM. I can disagree with people, and have disagreed with Valhalla/DBF in the past but we agree to disagree and move on. It isnt personal and I have my views and others have theirs.

To ban someone for getting passionate (although this time she wasnt rude) is very very NEThuns and I dont like it one little bit.

ItsonlymeMrsDB · 07/11/2011 21:40

I want gossip. Please.

StewieGriffinsMom · 07/11/2011 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MNHQ
JustineMumsnet · 07/11/2011 21:41

@ChippingInNeedsSleep

Otherwise it's just lecturing. One individual is not responsible for all the unwanted dogs in the world. They are usually responsible for just one, and quite anxious about it

If one person comes on saying x and DBF someone replies it's a post. If 10 people start separate threads saying the same thing and DBF you reply to each of them it's lecturing??

No it's how you go about answering them - if you helpful and considerate then it doesn't matter how many times you answer. If you are bossy and won't truck any alternative way of doing things, then it's lecturing.

Pinot · 07/11/2011 21:42

I ain't got none, guv!

Elibean · 07/11/2011 21:43

Totally agree with reviewing the current system.

I do agree that sticking to rules is important in life. But when the rules are unclear, unfair, or simply not working as well as something else might....they need to be challenged.

If there had been a warning on a thread that I had read, and if there were a clear definition of what is not acceptable posted, I would have had the option of warning someone to pull their horns in/change their tone of voice; they would have had the option of pulling their horns in/changing their tone of voice; the poster feeling attacked would have felt supported.

Banning someone 'out of the blue' (which may not be out of the blue to you, MNHQ, or to her, but is to the rest of us) feels dramatic, and actually not very safe-making.