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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can't believe I'm reacting this way! I hardly ever cry! :(

215 replies

imsosad · 07/11/2011 17:51

This is a real AIBU, I really don't know if I am or not.

So I'm sat here crying. Not sobbing, but tears rolling down my face as I go about my day. What you need to know is that I hardly ever cry and am not at all emotional. I feel hurt....a lot more than I'd have expected for me.

I guess I'd start with telling you all that I thought my DH forgot our anniversary. He normally has flashes of thoughtfulness and can be quite romantic when he wants to be. Everyone who knows us would say what a wonderful husband he is. So I was surprised by that in itself.

It is a milestone anniversary. We promised each other when we got married that if we did nothing else all year long, we'd always make a big deal and have a real celebration on our anniversary - and we always have, unfailingly, for years. It is always the highlight of my year.

So at first, I thought it was part of a plan for a surprise. He said he was going to a sporting event with a friend of his, which I thought was a cover. Except, he really went. With all his stuff that he needed for it.

Then, I thought he actually forgot. I was really disappointed and hurt, especially as he usually spends weeks planning it. (That's really what always means so much to me, the effort he puts into planning it. He did mention something about starting to plan for it about a month ago, but never said anything after.)

Didn't take long for me to remember though, that we received anniversary cards last week which he opened and commented on. So I texted him and asked if he'd be home for dinner. He responded by telling me that he'd be home somewhere around that time, guess we'll have to go out somewhere for dinner, but it won't be really great as we don't have reservations anywhere.

If you knew my husband, that is Shock!

I have tried to make any number of excuses in my head, but he hasn't been particularly stressed or tired or busy or anything. He just doesn't really seem to care now.

What's driving me a bit mad here is that we've dealt with so many awful things in our (many) years together, and I just "keep calm and carry on" type thing, I don't get upset like I am now. Hurt. And I sort of feel ridiculous. He didn't actually forget. He just doesn't think it's a big deal for some reason this year. :(

It's ok if you all slam me with IABU. Just maybe if you could toss in a line as to why on earth I am so hurt and what to do about it, that would help? :(

OP posts:
ViviPru · 07/11/2011 23:33

ditto

gastonscave · 07/11/2011 23:34

It would all depend on the type of Rabbit notjustme Grin

Apricots · 07/11/2011 23:48

Marking my place

notjustme · 07/11/2011 23:49

gastonscave - am sniggering like a child now! I'm innocent and could never mean anything rude (where is an innocent smiley when you need one??)

chubbychaser11 · 07/11/2011 23:49

Aww the Mumsnet people are so lovely. It's so nice to see how eagerly everyone's hoping for a good outcome.

OP please come back so we can hear what happened!

LorainneK · 07/11/2011 23:54

Talk to your husband. That's the only way you will find out what is going on.

gastonscave · 07/11/2011 23:57

you aren't the only one! when my dh went to Amsterdam on his stag do many many moons ago I texted him at the airport and jokingly ask him to bring me back a rabbit, he had no idea. His younger brother had to explain to him

fortyplus · 08/11/2011 00:00

Hope she's had a good time - seems to me she's being a bit precious about it but I guess it must be a worry if it seems really out of character

MumGoneCrazy · 08/11/2011 00:03

Hope the OP is having a great night and being spoilt by her hubby and if not then the OP should book a weekend away for her next anniversary in a spa just for herself Grin

orangeLFDThead · 08/11/2011 00:08

Only just seen this hope everything ok

whethergirl · 08/11/2011 00:09

I might even stay up for this. Is that too much like being a stalker?
I bet I dream about this tonight, I always do with unresolved issues.
OP, hope you are having the time of your life. Blokes aren't very good with surprises. My dad once wrapped a toilet roll and put it under the xmas tree and told me he couldn't afford any presents. Of course, there was a map in the toilet roll which led to a Commadore 64 hidden in his wardrobe. But I didn't see the map because I was too busy sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.

orangeLFDThead · 08/11/2011 00:12

That made me laugh whethergirl

KimKardashian · 08/11/2011 00:29
springydaffs · 08/11/2011 00:33

Before my uncle (and family) emigrated to australia, his family organised a surprise party and, when he tried to gee them up to arrange something, everyone was nonchalant. it hurt him so much he couldn't get over it, or respond to everyone's SURPRISE!! Some people can push it too far imo.

that toilet roll story is just too sad. Like I said, some people can push it too far imo.

Birnamwood · 08/11/2011 00:34

...

Hope all is well OP

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 08/11/2011 00:36

Oh i'm hoping the op's having a mucky time somewhere posh .

DitaVonCheese · 08/11/2011 00:37

I thought about planning a suprise 40th for DH this year but realised I would have to come up with a reason why none of his friends could be bothered to meet up with him in order to make it happen so gave up on the idea. Hope you're okay OP.

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/11/2011 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsDistinctlyMintyMonetarism · 08/11/2011 00:41

Marking place in hopes that the DH turns out to be a lovely specimen and not a fuckwit.

Hissy · 08/11/2011 00:42

Hope he pulls something great out of the hat OP!

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/11/2011 00:44

DitaVonCheese I wish you'd told me that 6 months ago. DH guessed he was having one for exactly that reason. Although he will never guess stuff like that again after having to make 4 lasagne because he had to help out.

LittlePebble · 08/11/2011 00:52

Oh OP hope you are having a lovely night please come back and tell us...

MalibuStac · 08/11/2011 00:55

Op hope alls ok and your having a good night.

KimKardashian · 08/11/2011 00:58

Is she back yet, is she back yet?

I have to go and pick DD up from MIL's soon. I'm considering asking DP to go because I am nosey want to know what fab surprise the OP's DH had planned and how many carats there are in her new diamond ring.

thatboysmum · 08/11/2011 01:04

Still no news?

I have been watching this thread for the past 2 hours genuinely hoping for a happy ending... Maybe they are just having a wonderful evening and it would spoil the mood Wink if she suddenly hopped on here to give an update...
Fingers crossed!