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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can't believe I'm reacting this way! I hardly ever cry! :(

215 replies

imsosad · 07/11/2011 17:51

This is a real AIBU, I really don't know if I am or not.

So I'm sat here crying. Not sobbing, but tears rolling down my face as I go about my day. What you need to know is that I hardly ever cry and am not at all emotional. I feel hurt....a lot more than I'd have expected for me.

I guess I'd start with telling you all that I thought my DH forgot our anniversary. He normally has flashes of thoughtfulness and can be quite romantic when he wants to be. Everyone who knows us would say what a wonderful husband he is. So I was surprised by that in itself.

It is a milestone anniversary. We promised each other when we got married that if we did nothing else all year long, we'd always make a big deal and have a real celebration on our anniversary - and we always have, unfailingly, for years. It is always the highlight of my year.

So at first, I thought it was part of a plan for a surprise. He said he was going to a sporting event with a friend of his, which I thought was a cover. Except, he really went. With all his stuff that he needed for it.

Then, I thought he actually forgot. I was really disappointed and hurt, especially as he usually spends weeks planning it. (That's really what always means so much to me, the effort he puts into planning it. He did mention something about starting to plan for it about a month ago, but never said anything after.)

Didn't take long for me to remember though, that we received anniversary cards last week which he opened and commented on. So I texted him and asked if he'd be home for dinner. He responded by telling me that he'd be home somewhere around that time, guess we'll have to go out somewhere for dinner, but it won't be really great as we don't have reservations anywhere.

If you knew my husband, that is Shock!

I have tried to make any number of excuses in my head, but he hasn't been particularly stressed or tired or busy or anything. He just doesn't really seem to care now.

What's driving me a bit mad here is that we've dealt with so many awful things in our (many) years together, and I just "keep calm and carry on" type thing, I don't get upset like I am now. Hurt. And I sort of feel ridiculous. He didn't actually forget. He just doesn't think it's a big deal for some reason this year. :(

It's ok if you all slam me with IABU. Just maybe if you could toss in a line as to why on earth I am so hurt and what to do about it, that would help? :(

OP posts:
Kayano · 07/11/2011 21:16

We're all hanging on in wonder and anticipation of an update that
Is due
Later...

Happy troll?

Not really Blush not troll hunting but I feel like I'm totally on tender hooks to find
Out
Lol

cumbria81 · 07/11/2011 21:32

I bet OP never comes back and I will be left wondering about this FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

TanteAC · 07/11/2011 21:37

LOL cumbria81

TheLittleFriend · 07/11/2011 21:39

I can't believe how much I want there to be a happy ending. Hope you're out having a lovely evening op.

Shodan · 07/11/2011 21:53

"I can't believe how much I want there to be a happy ending. Hope you're out having a lovely evening op."

This, from me too. I've been thinking about it all evening so far Blush

NinkyNonker · 07/11/2011 21:54

Me too!

lisad123 · 07/11/2011 21:58

I think it's going to be a massive surprise party or beutiful evening out. I hope I'm right Grin

Jajas · 07/11/2011 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jajas · 07/11/2011 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamfeeder · 07/11/2011 22:02

I can't believe how much I want him to have a surprise in store....

FontSnob · 07/11/2011 22:04

Hope you're having a lovely evening OP. Fingers are crossed.

Dozer · 07/11/2011 22:05

Poor OP. It sounds v odd. Must be more to it. DH depressed or lost his job recently or been ill or something?

Dozer · 07/11/2011 22:05

Hats off to OP for getting dressed up to go out, don't think could've done that.

dearprudence · 07/11/2011 22:09
Collision · 07/11/2011 22:09

marking my place

TheRepublicOfDreams · 07/11/2011 22:10

You poor thing OP. Even if it is a surprise, not nice of him to put you through this. :( If there is no surprise, I do feel so :( for you and cant imagine how you must be feeling. Remember we are all here for you if needed. (Hopefully not!)

tentative123 · 07/11/2011 22:11

I hope she tells us soon! fingernail biting!

mumofthreekids · 07/11/2011 22:15

OP, am also hoping there was a big surprise, but if not I would recommend going on a marriage course. My DH and I did one nearly 2 years ago as our marriage had got a bit 'meh' - it's so common after having kids, and maybe your DH feels that way. The course really helped us inject a bit of spark back in.

Eclairwaldorf · 07/11/2011 22:16

Fingers crossed for OP.....

Inghouls2 · 07/11/2011 22:21

really hope you're having a lovely evening OP x

Towndon · 07/11/2011 22:21

Thinking of you OP.

exoticfruits · 07/11/2011 22:29

Do hope it was a wonderful evening-do come back and tell us.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 07/11/2011 22:30

Marking place, I hope OP had a nice night... Hoping that even if there was no big surprise at least OP's DH chilled out and they managed to salvage something from the evening

LovingChristmas · 07/11/2011 22:31

SO hoping you're a great time right now. You have to let us all know.

maybenow · 07/11/2011 22:35

oh no, this thread is so sad if he's just decided to do nothing... this is why i always discuss birthdays and anniversaries with dh and do something together (not that i'm a control freak or anything Blush)