Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can't believe I'm reacting this way! I hardly ever cry! :(

215 replies

imsosad · 07/11/2011 17:51

This is a real AIBU, I really don't know if I am or not.

So I'm sat here crying. Not sobbing, but tears rolling down my face as I go about my day. What you need to know is that I hardly ever cry and am not at all emotional. I feel hurt....a lot more than I'd have expected for me.

I guess I'd start with telling you all that I thought my DH forgot our anniversary. He normally has flashes of thoughtfulness and can be quite romantic when he wants to be. Everyone who knows us would say what a wonderful husband he is. So I was surprised by that in itself.

It is a milestone anniversary. We promised each other when we got married that if we did nothing else all year long, we'd always make a big deal and have a real celebration on our anniversary - and we always have, unfailingly, for years. It is always the highlight of my year.

So at first, I thought it was part of a plan for a surprise. He said he was going to a sporting event with a friend of his, which I thought was a cover. Except, he really went. With all his stuff that he needed for it.

Then, I thought he actually forgot. I was really disappointed and hurt, especially as he usually spends weeks planning it. (That's really what always means so much to me, the effort he puts into planning it. He did mention something about starting to plan for it about a month ago, but never said anything after.)

Didn't take long for me to remember though, that we received anniversary cards last week which he opened and commented on. So I texted him and asked if he'd be home for dinner. He responded by telling me that he'd be home somewhere around that time, guess we'll have to go out somewhere for dinner, but it won't be really great as we don't have reservations anywhere.

If you knew my husband, that is Shock!

I have tried to make any number of excuses in my head, but he hasn't been particularly stressed or tired or busy or anything. He just doesn't really seem to care now.

What's driving me a bit mad here is that we've dealt with so many awful things in our (many) years together, and I just "keep calm and carry on" type thing, I don't get upset like I am now. Hurt. And I sort of feel ridiculous. He didn't actually forget. He just doesn't think it's a big deal for some reason this year. :(

It's ok if you all slam me with IABU. Just maybe if you could toss in a line as to why on earth I am so hurt and what to do about it, that would help? :(

OP posts:
ViviPru · 07/11/2011 22:45

I've just re-read all of the OP's posts. I thought we were all being a bit falsely optimistic but on recapping the facts I'm pretty confident she's enjoying a fabulous surprise right now. He's made out that there's no surprise, that nothing exciting is planned, yet he's taking her out and she has no idea what's about to happen.

I strongly suspect we're all going to be falling just a little bit in love with her DH once we get the update. While mildly cross as his having initially put us her through this. Fingers crossed.

ViviPru · 07/11/2011 22:45

*at not as

MrsTwinks · 07/11/2011 22:47

I think the fact we've had no tearful update from the ladies, might be he is redeemed alright. If not... I'm sure we'll all alibi the OP right?

Hassled · 07/11/2011 22:49

Even if he has redeemed himself now, he's sailed bloody close to the wind. Hope imsosad is OK.

FetchezLaVache · 07/11/2011 22:50

Yes, if it had been a disaster they'd have left after the starter and she'd be updating us on her phone from the nearest Travelodge! My money's on their being at it like rabbits, even as we speak.

MrsUnassumingTroll · 07/11/2011 22:50

Marking my place too...hope all is well, OP.

JaneFonda · 07/11/2011 22:56

I do hope everything's okay, OP!

guffaw · 07/11/2011 22:58

OP what time do you call this? keeping me up waiting. seriously hoping for romantic ending.

OhDoAdmit · 07/11/2011 23:03

I hope this turns out well, there have been some very sad threads on MN tonight.

chubbychaser11 · 07/11/2011 23:11

Why is the OP not back yet? Is everyone else not simply DYING to find out what happened!

Mooja · 07/11/2011 23:13

Aww just read this thread, hope there was a surprise and her DH was just a very good actor.

Will be :( if it just turns out to be a let down for her.

Shodan · 07/11/2011 23:15

Just, y'know, checking in.

Fingers still crossed.

Breath baited etc.

Shodan · 07/11/2011 23:16

Bated, even.

I think.

Definitely no maggots or worms involved, anyway.

gallicgirl · 07/11/2011 23:18

I want to know now....well in about 5 minutes as I have the slowest internet connection ever!

I guess the OP had a good time at least given how late she is out.

ViviPru · 07/11/2011 23:19

If DP and I were going for a low-key anniversary bite to eat in our tried and tested favourite restaurant on a drizzly Monday night we'd have been back hours ago. OP's having a night to remember, I'll bet.

ViviPru · 07/11/2011 23:20

arf @ Shodan Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/11/2011 23:21

I have to make sure I don't lose this thread. I hope he has redeemed himself but I have a feeling that there might be a horrible 'talk' happened.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/11/2011 23:21

*happening

OldGreyWassailTest · 07/11/2011 23:22

I need to know, I need to know! How can I sleep when I don't know????????

ReindeerBollocks · 07/11/2011 23:22

Oh no, fingers crossed for a fabulous surprise and not a 'talk of the nasty kind'.

Hope you have had a great anniversary. Please do update though.

Conundrumish · 07/11/2011 23:22

I'm ill. I need to go to bed. Where is she?

choux · 07/11/2011 23:23

I suspect SHE's already in bed Pink...

notjustme · 07/11/2011 23:24

Well I hope that she's not here because he had a rabbit in his hat and it was a great surprise! Keeping my fingers crossed!!

singarainbow · 07/11/2011 23:25

marking my place.....its has to be a good outcome, doesn't it?

bessie26 · 07/11/2011 23:28