to ask you all to follow a few guidelines in the supermarket?

[MardyBra]

If you meet someone, please do not block up the whole aisle with your trolleys at a 45 degree angle, while you chat to them. If you do, do not be surprised if I accidentally run into your trolley.

If you are dithering over which variety of hummous to buy, please do not block access to all other hummouses by parking yourself and your trolley in front of the display and then refuse access to other hummous buyers who know exactly which type they want to buy. (Ditto olives)

If you are self scanning, you do not need to locate the bar code on every item. Just waving it vaguely in the direction of the code reader will usually suffice.

Please do not allow young children to self-scan while there is a queue with me in it behind you. Older children may be permitted to self-scan if they have completed advanced scanning technique tuition.

If you are particularly dithery, please consider shopping at off-peak hours (between 9pm and 8am ideally).

Above all, maintain a sense of humour.

If we all follow the guidelines, we should all have more spare time to hang out on and MN and have a better quality of life.

Thank you.

Do not get the cashier to check your lottery numbers for you, check them yourself at home then you'd realise you hadn't won and you wouldn't even need to be in the supermarket holding up the queue

so everytime I see a toddler in a trolley, I'll think 'Mumsnetter'! I hate to see the shoes in trolleys, I really do, because childrens' shoes have magnetic soles for attracting dogpoo. Does everyone wipe the cartons of milk before putting them in the fridge, and the packaging of every other item too? Or wash their hands after handling the packaging of each item before touching the food within? Me neither. So I don't want germ covered shoes in my trolley, touching even the packaging of my food. Thank you. signed lady macbeth and i've moved on from constantly washing my hands of blood, so am looking for other reasons to wash them now.

I see where you're coming from CryingAtMyParty and I respect your point of view, but what about all the other shit that trollies are infested with - bird shit, germs from coughs/colds/flu/other illnesses, raw chicken juices to mention but a few. If you're that concerned about dog poo which may or may not be on a toddler's shoes, you should be wiping down your packaging anyway.

Honestly, I will change my ways if I can be convinced of it by the MN collective. But shopping trollies are really not a paragon of hygiene. I'd put them on a par with the handles and seats on the tube. I really wouldn't want to lick one, toddler shoes or not.

Besides which, the shoes of my toddler are usually found resting on my 6 pack of bread buns or family pack of walkers sensations, not the bottom of the trolley.

... and when I find I have been grossly overcharged, eg BOGOF items that are not charged as BOGOF, and bring relevant items and my receipt to Customer Services (yes Tesco, I'm talking to you) please do not treat me like a criminal, I have far better things to do with my time than trying to hoodwink Tesco out of a few bob.

Andrew and thousand, it's a genuine question. I have no option but to go on Saturday mornings. If I could go another time, I would and I don't understand why anyone who has control of their time in the week would choose to be there. It's not ageism - I don't hate, despise or think less of the retired (and I did say retired, not elderly). I just don't get why they would make that choice.

Off to Ocado now, as my way of avoiding Saturday supermarket shopping. Feel free to judge me for that non-offence as well.

BarkisIsWillin - ASDA do this to me all the fucking time!

Nappies on a display. Loads of '90 nappies' boxes, one '140 nappies' box. Both are on an offer for 2 for £20, as the display ticket clearly shows. We get charged full-price, taking it up to £27! I go up to Customer Services and politely enquire about it, to which they glare at me and send the slowest person possible in the WRONG DIRECTION to search for this offer. He comes back after so much time I'm going through the menopause, and informs me via caveman-style grunting that it isn't in the offer. I get extraordinarily fed up, and stomp off in the right direction, take a photo of the display ticket showing that it is, in fact, on the offer, and they had nowhere to turn.

I will say they redeemed themselves - they gave me a giftcard with a few bob on there, along with my £7 back!

Teenage gormless supermarket worker- if it is December, don't look blank when I ask you what aisle the cranberry sauce is in. You may find that a few of us are going to be buying it - even if you have never heard of it.

Dear Pikey Man in Tesco Sidcup last Christmas, who stealthily removed my loosely knotted plastic bags of pick-your-own carrots, parsnips and broccoli from my trolley and moved them into his trolley, after I'd turned round to select some more veg....(a bit like the nest-building penguin in Frozen Planet)

You won't do that again will you?...after I shouted 'THIEF' at the top of my voice, snatched back my precious veg, and warned all the surrounding shoppers to 'HOLD ON TO YOUR VEGETABLES LADIES'. And watched you scurry off, tail between your legs. Ha!

'Hold on to your vegetables ladies!'
Am going to use that as an all-purpose rallying cry from now on.

I got crucified on here once for saying 'pikey'. And I was referring to myself.

Mine:

• If you are going to stand four aside with your trolleys go and have a coffee. There is a bloody cafe right over there.... go !
• If you need to come shopping, please get dressed pyjamas are not appropriate attire for the weekly shop.
• If you are old my partner will likely try and help you. Yes he looks mean, yes he is big but he won't mug you he just wants to pass you what you want. Please do not look at him like he is jack the ripper.
• If you feel the need to discipline your child please do not shot "X get back here you little c*nt!" Your child might be used to hearing it, my niece isnt. Im particularly unimpressed of her further usage of the word since it spewed out of your vile mouth.
• If you forget loo roll tough shit. Do not leave your full shopping on a conveyor belt, your screaming children swinging from my trolley to go and get said item. Get it after and run it through the self scan.
• Please dont put the eggs in the first aisle supermarket. That means I have to rearrange my trolley a million times.
• No I dont want any help with my packing, Ill do it my way thank you.
• Just because I rebuffed your offer of help packing, please do not throw a monthly shop at me at lightening speed.
• Yes I want free plastic carrier bags, I readily admit Im a heathen I do recycle them as poop bags and yes I know its bad for the environment.

-

Oooh, you would hate me!
We do our big shop after school once a week and ds(4) is knackered-I can't drag him round the supermarket without it ending up in a full scale shouting match over sweets/magazines/Cars toilet paper so I plonk him cross legged in the trolley with a comic while I get on with it. He is very careful where he walks though
I also dither, take ages chooses cake, go up and down the same aisles many times in a completely illogical pattern, forget things at the check out at run and get them, lose my purse/coupons/shopping bag and occasionally slightly lose control of my trolley.
I also cant do the self scanners and always cock it up so that a supermarket person has to come and help me. With every item.
And sometimes ds and I get really hungry and have to graze on some scones on the way round.
I don't care what other people do in the supermarket though-in fact I don't even notice!

LadyClariceCannockMonty LOL :) :) :)

I know it's annoying when supermarket workers want to stack the shelves from their enormous trolleys at peak times, but the clue's in the name. If it's peak time, the shelves will empty, and then who'll be moaning that the shelves are empty?

Oh ladies, just think how annoying it is when you're doing your grocery shopping in a wheelchair! Big round of applause to the old fella who put his hands on my chair & tried to SHOVE ME OUT OF THE WAY at the checkout. I can do a nifty spin & I growled at him to keep his hands to himself &, amazingly, HE was shocked! I try to use my scooter most trips & only have to avoid the wretched in-the-aisle bins & folk who swing baskets near my head...
Oh, & when I'm at the checkout & you're just nipping into the store, I AM NOT A GAP!

Don't get me started on abuse of Disabled parking bays... steam comes out if ears

And a few guidelines for the supermarket car park if I may:

It's not chuffing Silverstone or the Nurburgring - please drive slowly and not at warp speed. It's hard enough to steer those shagging trolleys without having to avoid getting run over by someone trying to achieve Mach 4 in the long straight.

Conversely - pedestrians. It is a car park -there will be moving vehicles trying to navigate the place. Feel free NOT to walk down the centre of the car park aisles, stop with your trolley in front of the only free parking space and have a chat with Brenda from number 37 who you haven't seen for ages and isn't it lovely weather lately, especially for November, and ooh did you know they have Rich Tea fingers on special offer in the store and don't forget they've moved the Horlicks from aisle 2 to aisle 6 etcetera etcetera etcetera...

Two words ONLINE SHOPPING

try online shopping, it's really easy and stress free, no trolleys, aisles or OAPs to annoy you, and you can watch TV whilst you do it. no brainer really