to ask you all to follow a few guidelines in the supermarket?

[MardyBra]

If you meet someone, please do not block up the whole aisle with your trolleys at a 45 degree angle, while you chat to them. If you do, do not be surprised if I accidentally run into your trolley.

If you are dithering over which variety of hummous to buy, please do not block access to all other hummouses by parking yourself and your trolley in front of the display and then refuse access to other hummous buyers who know exactly which type they want to buy. (Ditto olives)

If you are self scanning, you do not need to locate the bar code on every item. Just waving it vaguely in the direction of the code reader will usually suffice.

Please do not allow young children to self-scan while there is a queue with me in it behind you. Older children may be permitted to self-scan if they have completed advanced scanning technique tuition.

If you are particularly dithery, please consider shopping at off-peak hours (between 9pm and 8am ideally).

Above all, maintain a sense of humour.

If we all follow the guidelines, we should all have more spare time to hang out on and MN and have a better quality of life.

Thank you.

It's just the wholesale, illogical tutting that gets me.

Choose a section of society to disapprove of and stick to it - you might still be unreasonable but at least you will be consistent!

And pick your tutting battles. There have been times in the supermarket when I would quite happily have dumped DS on the floor and gone over to join the tutters in glaring and huffing at him. But when he is actually being remarkably inoffensive and securely restrained it is a bit much really.

When you have finished eventually paying, please do not then spend 10 minutes reorganising your handbag at the end of the checkout.

I need to stop reading this thread. I think I am about to explode, what with the swelling up with righteous indignation while shouting "Oh yes I hate that too!"

Kungfu

Do not look shocked when the chekcout person says 'that will be £x please' as if you had forgotten that you would have to pay, and then fumble around for your purse for 5 minutes. It's a supermarket. It is not free. Get your purse ready.

All these supermarket threads are making me paranoid.

You'll be glad to know, I have recently cleaned up my act. I have stopped annoying other people with my inane prattle speaking to anyone in the supermarket, including friends and staff at the till, I go round as fast as possible, making way at all times for VIPs (Very Impatient People), I get my card ready well in advance, I do not wear my Hunter wellies or any other knobbish clothing, I make sure I've eaten in advance, I don't dither and block the nice ham section and stay well clear of the froot sh**ts.

Did I forget anything?

I reserve my right to ponder mistily over hummus, it's, like, my right, man.

Last Christmas Eve (and yes, I'm still cross about this...) I put a reduced chicken in my trolley (50p for a chicken! hurray said I...), with my two kids sitting nicely in the front. Mad crazy woman, stepped out in front of my trolley a few aisles later, declared that was her chicken, reached into my trolley and grabbed it out again, before haring off to the tills at a full run. I was left standing shocked in the aisle with DD asking why the lady had taken our chicken.

Aagh.

Christmas bloody eve shopping, I should have known.

Fookin hell christmasmum I've seen some awful behaviour in supermarkets but taking stuff from other people's trolleys is beyond the pale. They need more security guards stationed in the aisles on Xmas eve apparently.

If your trousers don't cover you arse, please do not go food shopping, buy trousers that fit!

Even if you you are one, you should not climb out of the trolly on to the till belt.

Do not give me the evil eye for strapping DD in with walking reins as well as the supplied strap, see above.

See that folding bit under the handle? It's a really clever thing which, when you push it away from you, turns into a seat which is specially designed for putting a child into. Genius, no?

So really no need for Jonny to sit in the trolley with his pooey shoes and dribbling snot is there?

"..... lady took this rather literally and was using the serving spoons to feed herself " Then she wasn't a lady.

You are talking about Waitrose arnt you?

I have never known such a supermarket for people stopping in the middle of an aisle and chatting, blocking the bloody thing.

Lots of kids in wellies and fairy wings - you dont see that in Morrisons.

Oooh yes agree with all of the above but would like to add the following:

50+ posho customers in Waitrose do not just abandon your trolley in the aisle, at the checkout or wherever because you have either chosen to do the two trollies one queue trick or you have used a trolley for your 3 items that you then sling in a carrier and march away with. Your trolley is in my and other people's way. There is no valet trolley service even in sodding Waitrose.

As you were.

Oh yes woman in Tesco, the grapes are not a buffet for you to graze at. If they were we'd all be stood there shoving in handfuls of grapes.

I wouldn't know OhDoAdmit

And I thought just the same AnotherEmptyNest - that's no lady

My dd, who by her own admission has mild ocd, began to rearrange the shopping accordingly in what she thought was our trolley.
Then she saw me holding onto our trolley and the owner of the shopping she had been rearranging turned up laughing and thanked her for making more room in his trolley!

Oh can I mention to supermarkets that if you incorrectly price something, then yes I will challenge it at the tiil, regardless of how long it holds up the queue. Amazingly some of us can actually add up and know when we have been overcharged.

On another page is a post about customers standing on one side of an aisle looking at the shelves on the other. If I come across that, I just say, "Excuse me" and go through his view. It's really easy.

LadyClarice what did you exleft the supermarket to do about the large buggies customers were bringing in? I'm genuinely curious!

Yes yes to the hypocrites. One woman who works in our tesco moans about every child but twice when I have been removing toys / sweets from the trolley because I am evil ds has been naughty she has said 'what a wee shame, can he not just say sorry?'

If you are a checkout assistant please scan shopping at a reasonable speed - not so fast that you are piling the shopping up and not so slow that the food has gone off by the time it is packed.

Also, please do not allow sponsored bag packs, if you must then please train them nto to put bleach in with baby food and crisps under tins of soup.

Oh and please dispense with the manky fish counter.

Oh and barring any actual problem barring you from packing your shopping it is RUDE to stand there whilst the assistant packs everything for you.

It is also rude to talk on a mobile phone when being served. You will also look like a right twat if you walk around talking loudly into your bluetooth.

Please please please tesco ban those goddawful trollies with a coupe car on the front - the scrums for them are scary and they weigh an absolute ton even before ytou have any shopping in them!

Hahahahaha.

Let me translate for you.

She said hummous and olives.

She meant Pot Noodle and alcopops.

Any time.

If you do have the nerve to open your purse to fiddle about with your cards/money on the little shelf thingy right by the chip and pin device in tesco, before I've even paid myself, don't look surprised when the nice girl on the till tells you how much my shopping costs and expects you to pay, because she can't have thought people could be so sodding rude.