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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you all to follow a few guidelines in the supermarket?

193 replies

MardyBra · 07/11/2011 14:40

If you meet someone, please do not block up the whole aisle with your trolleys at a 45 degree angle, while you chat to them. If you do, do not be surprised if I accidentally run into your trolley.

If you are dithering over which variety of hummous to buy, please do not block access to all other hummouses by parking yourself and your trolley in front of the display and then refuse access to other hummous buyers who know exactly which type they want to buy. (Ditto olives)

If you are self scanning, you do not need to locate the bar code on every item. Just waving it vaguely in the direction of the code reader will usually suffice.

Please do not allow young children to self-scan while there is a queue with me in it behind you. Older children may be permitted to self-scan if they have completed advanced scanning technique tuition.

If you are particularly dithery, please consider shopping at off-peak hours (between 9pm and 8am ideally).

Above all, maintain a sense of humour.

If we all follow the guidelines, we should all have more spare time to hang out on and MN and have a better quality of life.

Thank you. Wink

OP posts:
BobblyGussets · 07/11/2011 17:46

Do not stand so close to me in the "Just a few items"queue in M&S that you are repeatedly bumping into me and making contact with my person. I will glare at you and then answer you back when you say "I'm not doing it on purpose", with a "back off and give me some space then".

I have never been outspoken like that in the supermarket before, but she must have nudged me about five fucking times

verysmellyeli · 07/11/2011 17:50

Chaos surely your remark cannot have been directed at me. What is this Pot Noodle of which you speak?

hells1908 · 07/11/2011 17:57

And always, ALWAYS cover up the 3 multipacks of Pickled Onion Monster Munch (he's a teenager, alright?) with bags of kale, assorted swedes, fish from the actual fish counter and maybe some pig/ox/unicorn cheeks so that fellow shoppers can check their make up in your shiny halo...

MrsUnassumingTroll · 07/11/2011 18:05

  1. If you are purchasing a newspaper, and just a newspaper, go to the baskets-only till. Especially as, look, there is no one waiting there! Why barge in front of me at the till when I have a bulging trolley and a baby about to start bawling? You are clearly retired, why the hurry?

  2. The longer you spend cooing over my (admittedly gorgeous) baby, the more chance that he will get so fed up with the bright supermarket lights that he becomes one of those screaming-babies-in-a-supermarket that we all hate. Can I get on with my shopping now? Kthxbai.

  3. Supermarket employee, whilst I realise that your stock check is the most important thing in your world right now, there are TWO customers trying to see past you to the products on the shelf. Please can you move out of the way?

  4. Supermarket employees with the big green trolleys for internet orders. If you stand two abreast in an aisle gossiping about your manager, you block the aisle. Yup. Move along.

picnicbasketcase · 07/11/2011 19:28

That is annoying, mind, when the checkout operator says 'Do you need any help with your packing?', you say 'No, thanks, I'll be fine' and so s/he starts beeping it through as though s/he's in some kind of speed barcode reading gameshow. It's all piling up at the end, he/she's hurling bags of satsumas at you....Mainly Tesco where this happens. And the member of staff is, more often than not, a miserable git. Cuts both ways doesn't it?

Flisspaps · 07/11/2011 19:34

MardyBra You can also exchange the word 'hummuses' for 'reduced goods' in your OP.

I bloody hate it when people park their trolley right across the whole of the reduced section so that no-one else gets a look in at the bargains. Park it out of the way somewhere (not next to the hummus or olives) so that everyone gets fair dibs at the free-for-all, rather than making a tired and pregnant woman lean right over your trolley to try and get to the shelves.

redcamels · 07/11/2011 19:36

If you abandon your trolley in the middle of a narrow aisle, fully expect me to use my own trolley to ram your trolley out of the way, possibly right to the end of the aisle. Or even beyond.

If you have horrendous body odour please refrain from invading my personal space in the checkout queue.

If you are a man browsing the beer section, please do not look at me like I am an alien when I do the same. I am a woman. I purchase beer. End of.

redcamels · 07/11/2011 19:38

collaborate Seriously??? How bloody rude. Shock

picnicbasketcase · 07/11/2011 19:38

Oh, and stop staring at my nipples in the chilled/freezer aisle please DP other pervy customers

MustControlFistOfDeath · 07/11/2011 19:48

Hummous and olives eh OP? Vair naice Wink

I never self serve, they don't give me a DIY price reduction so they can bloody well scan it for me.

MustControlFistOfDeath · 07/11/2011 19:50

picnicbasketcase whatever you do don't go to LIDL, the operators get some sort of bonus for breaking the sound barrier Shock

ivykaty44 · 07/11/2011 20:02

If you meet someone, please do not block up the whole aisle with your trolleys at a 45 degree angle, while you chat to them. If you do, do not be surprised if I accidentally run into your trolley.

The words you need to use is excuse me please -they work wonders said at a loud ish tone with a smile Smile

If you are dithering over which variety of hummous to buy, please do not block access to all other hummouses by parking yourself and your trolley in front of the display and then refuse access to other hummous buyers who know exactly which type they want to buy. (Ditto olives)

See above - it works in more than one situation - or just have patients

If you are self scanning, you do not need to locate the bar code on every item. Just waving it vaguely in the direction of the code reader will usually suffice.

I never use slef scan when on my own as I find it very difficult Grin

Please do not allow young children to self-scan while there is a queue with me in it behind you. Older children may be permitted to self-scan if they have completed advanced scanning technique tuition.

My young child is far better at self scan and can do it so very fast - that I allow this - hope this is ok with you, dd can do a whole trolley in 5 miinutes flat - even the supermarket supervisor has asked when she can start work Wink

If you are particularly dithery, please consider shopping at off-peak hours (between 9pm and 8am ideally).

It is still a free country - you want to rush then go between the hours of 8pm - 7am as it is really very slack then and you can wizz round

Above all, maintain a sense of humour.

Like yours....?

If we all follow the guidelines, we should all have more spare time to hang out on and MN and have a better quality of life.

Get yourself an iphone and demand your supermarket gets wifi Grin then you can mn in each and every queue I make for you...Grin

Grin
Goldrill · 07/11/2011 20:08

...and if you happen to have to use a supermarket on holiday, say, for the sake of argument, Booths in, say, as an example, Keswick, please remember that, despite the prices clearly being in a foreign currency, it is still, in fact, A SUPERMARKET and: a. works like all other supermarkets and b. may have people who (you won't believe this!) actually might LIVE there or WORK there and be (say) in the middle of cooking lunch for 50 and have just nipped in for something from the catering section (I know - look at all those big tins! Isn't it fascinating! You should stand there with your trolley blocking access to them for another few minutes as clearly no-one is going to try and buy such a strange thing!) and that those people may have actually got places to be etc.
And when your husband, who has evidently never actually been in a supermarket before, stands right in the middle of the aisle with an "Ooh look: olives; do we usually have olives, dear?", or puts the whole basket on the conveyor belt rather than unpacking it, please help him to sort his life out rather than tutting and looking embarrased. We all know it's your fault he's like that....

Ahem.

SamWidgiz · 07/11/2011 20:10

picnic I've had the shoulder jab thing. Ugh, makes my skin crawl to remember it. Next time, I'm going to jab them right back.

TheFrogs · 07/11/2011 20:44

If I am standing with my trolley, waiting for a stream of people going the other way to finish so I can enter the aisle, please do not push in front of me and then start moaning that my trolley is in your way...THERE'S A REASON I'M STANDING THERE!

If i'm standing very obviously selecting something from a gift aisle. Either go the other way (yes, all 2ft of it around a display) or please say "excuse me". Do not, suddenly shout from behind me "I'VE BEEN FUCKING STANDING HERE FOR 10 MINUTES!" (erm no, actually you haven't) Causing me to respond with "WELL SPEAK UP AND ASK ME TO MOVE THEN, YOU DONT SEEM TO HAVE ANY PROBLEM USING YOUR BIG GOB NOW" Blush

Please do not stand right next to the card machine when i'm trying to pay, personal space issues.

Till operator: Please do not read my magazines as you scan them, it's irritating and wastes time.

MrsUnassumingTroll · 08/11/2011 04:04

Menfolk. This is called a s-u-p-e-r-m-a-r-k-e-t. I know, exciting isn't it? You don't have a clue where anything is, do you? Best let your wife/girlfriend/Internet shopper do the shop next time, eh?

MrsUnassumingTroll · 08/11/2011 04:05

TheFrogs your first one happens to me. All. The. Time.

Andrewofgg · 08/11/2011 07:01

Above all, once the cashier has started scanning your purchases it is JUST TOO BAD if you think of something else. Don't even think of leaving to get it. Pay for what you have got and go back in for whatever you forgot. No matter how busy you are.

Byeckerslike · 08/11/2011 07:55

Ive just caught up on this entire thread and im still laughing at 'did you apply it with your thumbs' that will make me chuckle all day!

Glad i shop at aldi!

NinkyNonker · 08/11/2011 08:07

A 'gent' pushed in front of me at the basket only checkout the other day in Waitrose (so much for a higher class of shopper eh!), luckily the manager was standing their talking to a staff member and saw my slightly open mouthed expression and the folowing took place:

M: "Excuse me sir, I do believe this lady was next."
G: "Yes, well, she has a trolly and shouldn't be allowed."
M: "I think it is apparent sir that she only has a few items in the trolly and is merely using it as a vehicle in which to transport a small child."
G: "Well she should be better organised then."
M: "Please take your place in the queue sir." (There were people behind me.)
G: "You need to buck your customer service up a little." Huff puff.
M: "Maybe sir, however I think it is more likely that you need to learn some manners."
G: Takes place at end of queue.

I was so Shock I could do nothing but make goldfish faces and nod at the manager as I stood there...

TheSkiingGardener · 08/11/2011 08:29

Applauds Waitrose manager.

Can we present him with a specially crafted MN award?

TeWihara · 08/11/2011 08:41

Ninky - that is an awesome manager!

KatieMiddIeton · 08/11/2011 08:42

Family friendly award to Waitrose!

deardear · 08/11/2011 08:58

think people when they get to a certain age should stick to internet shopping as well. its not a grandmothers union on a friday night or saturday morning peak shopping time. maybe the supermarkets should do special hours for grannys who shop - say 6am in the morning when they are awake with no need

StealthPenguin · 08/11/2011 09:04

I realize that this is an "overdone" topic, but someone mentioned it earlier in the thread and I'd just like to go back to it.

I reserve the right, as someone with a child and a tank pushchair, to use the Parent and Baby spaces. If you park there and you do not, in fact, have a child, you will be incurring my wrath. It is one of the few things I truly...TRULY hate.

And if I ask that you move, the correct response is "Oh, how silly of me! I'm sorry that I took the space deliberately designed for you and your beautiful young son! Allow me to apologize and move my vehicle immediately."

You DO NOT glare at me, call me a nosy bitch and then claim to be "just popping in for some milk and bread". Oh really, you lying cowbag? Then why are you grabbing a deepset trolley when there are baskets or even shallow-bottomed trolleys closer to hand?

And then, when I respond with "If you're just popping in for some milk, then you wouldn't mind an extra 30-second walk through the car park, as you won't have much to carry" you should shut the fuck up and move your car, not threaten to slap me for being so cheeky. I'm not the one being cheeky - YOU ARE. I asked nicely, you were being a stroppy twunt.

Anyway.
I hate people who stop in the middle of the aisles to natter. Ditto with people stopping in the middle of the road to have a dithery-doo.