to ask you all to follow a few guidelines in the supermarket?

[MardyBra]

If you meet someone, please do not block up the whole aisle with your trolleys at a 45 degree angle, while you chat to them. If you do, do not be surprised if I accidentally run into your trolley.

If you are dithering over which variety of hummous to buy, please do not block access to all other hummouses by parking yourself and your trolley in front of the display and then refuse access to other hummous buyers who know exactly which type they want to buy. (Ditto olives)

If you are self scanning, you do not need to locate the bar code on every item. Just waving it vaguely in the direction of the code reader will usually suffice.

Please do not allow young children to self-scan while there is a queue with me in it behind you. Older children may be permitted to self-scan if they have completed advanced scanning technique tuition.

If you are particularly dithery, please consider shopping at off-peak hours (between 9pm and 8am ideally).

Above all, maintain a sense of humour.

If we all follow the guidelines, we should all have more spare time to hang out on and MN and have a better quality of life.

Thank you.

If I am in the supermaket on my own with DS he goes in the trolley and most of the time helps with the shopping or holds on to whatever toy I am bribing him with to be a good boy (shock horror).

Wellthatsdomeit they will have to have a go at bothof us now. I reckon we can take them.

Agreed wtdi, trolleys are disgusting shitfests! I always take blankets/muslins to line the baby cot thingys for my twins, and i am the least pfb mother i know! They are dc's 2&3 anyway, so its purely because trolleys are friggin gross!

I'm pretty easy going in the supermarket. The only thing really is when someone has their trolley covering the whole range of something you need to get to. I ask them to budge excuse me though, so it's no biggie. I'm a very self aware shopper, polite, smiley. You'd all love me

In a couple of years, you'll have a toddler in the trolley, too, then.

It really does seem safer sometimes, rather than having one in the seat, and one walking along beside me being run over by impatient shoppers , and we take up less space in the aisles.

I'm considering opening a mumsnetters only supermarket. I wonder how many scraps there would be. There seems to be a general consensus to etiquette but I'm not convinced. I think there would be proper fights

Zuzu There is. It's called Waitrose.

I also put mine in the trolley if I end up having to take all 4. Smallest boy in seat, smallest girl in basket. Bigger 2 getting the shopping.

This happens very rarely - mostly if dh is away during school holidays and I only need a few bits because - suprisingly it would seem - using especially relish taking them all to the Hell that is our local Asda...

TSJ, i have already, ds1 is 3, i was meaning that people commenting about dirty shoes in trolleys, its no problem to me as trollys are minging anyway and its not like you are putting unwrapped food directly in them

That is also true, too. Sorry, I missed that you had a toddler already.

Please learn how to park your cars. If you have parked across the line of the only empty space in the carpark that I then park in please don't have the audacity to moan that I have parked too close. i'm bang in the middle of the space!

And stop fucking banging your doors into my car. I have worked my arse off to be able to afford it, have some fucking respect.

if you put a large bottle behind my eggs dont huff and puff when i need a replacement as said bottle has crushed them.
dont huff and puff when you have 2 items and still stand behind me and my overflowing trolley.

The more I think about the state of your average shopping trolley, the more I think it might be not what my child can give you but what the shopping trolley can give my child

I'm willing to reconsider on grounds of danger but I can't see how a child might fall out unless they were standing up (I make mine sit down), or you were careering round the corner of an aisle on two wheels, or if someone decided to ram raid you with full force. There's also the consideration of little fingers being bashed by other trollies and I make sure MasterWellthatsdoneit keeps his hands inside, usually by buying him a cbeebies magazine to read.

Oh, I've thought of another MN rule I've broken. I let my dc chomp on a french baguette (the pre priced ones) as we go round the shop and then hand over the half empty packet to the disapproving cashier at the end. I know, I'm disgusting.

what large bottle?, hifi on where? Someone put a large bottle in your trolley?? That's not cricket. No wonder you huffed and puffed. (I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room....)

In an attempt to ingratiate myself back into the MN fold though I am VERY efficient with my packing and paying. I order my goods in the trolley in the order they will be put on the belt (heavy items first, bread and eggs last) and pack and pay with lightening speed.

Which I would not be able to do were DC1 not imprisoned contained in the trolley.

Can I have an exception to the not tutting if someone moves your trolley rule? If DS is imprisoned sitting in the seat properly like a good spawn of MNer, this does not reduce his destructive ability to zero. The trolley therefore occasionally needs to be left in the middle of the aisle so that I can compare types of hummus without having to prevent Armaggedon levels of destruction at the same time, which slows me down and prevents the rest of you getting a look in. Particularly if we're in the booze aisle any aisle containing breakable objects (although I'm not comparing hummus at this point. Obviously).

Retired people in supermarkets on a Saturday morning. Why? I'm not in there by choice believe you me. And you have a choice.

Retired people in supermarkets on a Saturday morning. Why?

Because they are customers with lives to lead?

Just a thought.

hear hear, Andrew. My mum is retired and likes to shop on a Saturday morning because she's far busier than me bloody busy all week.

I fucking hate the ageism on MN.

I quite like to odl aldies in my evil supermarket. They tut at the snotty tweenie shelfstackers and entertain my own queen-of-the-world while I muse over twofers on digestive biccies.

Once a group of them even backed me up in a 'why do you only have NZ apples on sale in October which correct me if I'm wrong is apple season' rant. It was like being in a student union bar in Cocoon.

odl aldies? FFS. Old ladies.

When I tuck my trolley up against the cheese/milk or whatever shelves to pick something (for all the two seconds it takes) when people stre-t-c-h over my trolley to get what they want. Wait a couple of flippin seconds eh?

And when I pull my trolley aside to let through someone who is older or less mobile and someone swans through. (Did actually snap at someone "I wasn't waiting for you )

Supermarket staff - do not impose random rules on well-behaved shoppers who have reached an amicable queuing consensus.

In waitrose just now, I was in a single queue between the two basket only tills which are close together and facing one another. Everyone always naturally forms one queue and no one gets stressed about picking the slow queue or people trying to slide between queues.

Just as I got to the front, along came a manager declaiming 'it's two queues. Two queues' and making shooing gestures. After a bit of muttering we all dutifully sorted ourselves into two queues, but this wasn't enough for her. She remained there glaring at us and declaring 'it has to be two queues. There are two tills. If we don't have two queues we finish up with one line' to which I replied 'and this would be a problem because...?' which got me a further glare and an extra 'two tills - two queues!' I don't think the situation was helped by the man next to me sniggering.

One queue = happy, smiley shoppers
Two queues = sulky, defiant shoppers

Waitrose take note!

kungfupannda There is a scientific explanation for what you observed which can be expressed as a formula:

Waitrose manager = silly bitch

Till Operator-yes I would like help to pack my bags,cos I have a hand injury and can't pack bags/get purse out at the speed of light that you scan my shopping.

Please don't take your DH with you and have a full blown argument over a chicken (witnessed in Morrison's last week)

To another shopper-if your son is lying on the floor and blocking my path,then I am going to run over him with my trolley.

Asda-on a Friday/Sat afternoon, WHY is it necessary to have huge pallets to restock shelves? You are open 24 hours,why can't it happen on nightshift when shop is quiet?

Tesco-stop allowing charities/energy suppliers to accost me on way out when I only popped in for lunchtime sandwich.

I also reserve the right to look at your shopping and the junk you buy when I am standing behind you in the queue at the checkouts and make judgements on what sort of person you are. (honest it gives me some amusement-LOVE looking in folk's trolleys..)

Can I just add a note about trolley etiquette. I realise that most supermarkets don't issue printed instructions about trolley operating - after all what could they put?

1 Stand behind trolley
2 Grasp handle
3 Walk

but it amazes me the number of people who either drag their trolley alongside them or push them sideways and swan blithely along completely oblivious to the old dears being knocked over or the toddlers desperately jumping into freezers to avoid being run into.

USE SOME COMMON SENSE FGS!!