Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

to not want to be forced into giving this woman a lift every day?

197 replies

BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:27

About 6 months ago a woman started working at the same place as me; she lives fairly locally to me, about 10 minutes away, and I work 30 minutes away from my workplace. The woman lives 10 minutes away in the opposite direction to my workplace.

When she started, she was getting a lift in each day with someone who worked for another company near our work. She doesn't drive. Her husband does but he works in a different town. About 3 months ago the person giving her a lift each day got a different job so the lifts from them had to stop. She went to our boss, who had the brainwave that I could give her a lift to and from work every day. Despite the fact that it was 10 minutes out of my way, so 10 minutes there and back twice a day equals another 40 minutes onto my day.

I said to my boss that I wasn't happy with it and he basically said "what are you complaining about, it will be petrol money for you each week, and she needs to get to work somehow". I'm not assertive so agreed to give it a try. However this woman has done nothing but take the piss; she is meant to give me petrol money each week but regularly forgets, and has now not paid me for 3 weeks, despite me asking her for it. She is also never ready when I pick her up in the mornings so I end up sitting in the car for up to 10 minutes. I have had enough of it. She also does things like turns the stereo on in the car without asking, and moans about things like the seat not being comfortable enough. And then of course there is the issue that I need to leave 20 minutes earlier each morning and get home 20 minutes later each night, which means my children are at the childminder for longer.

I went to see my boss today about her and said I will no longer be able to give her a lift, and he wasn't happy to say the least. He said that I am to perform any other duties apart from my job that he sees fit, and that making sure a fellow team member gets to work is important and that he will take further action towards me if I prevent this colleague from getting to work.

I don't know what to do; obviously I don't want to piss my boss off but I cannot continue with giving this woman a lift everyday. I'm not a taxi driver but I feel I'm being used like one. Surely it's not my responsibility to make sure someone else - a grown adult - gets to work everyday? Or am I being mean spirited?

OP posts:

purplepidjin · 02/11/2011 22:54

It'll be a duck

It's always a duck

ZacharyQuack · 02/11/2011 22:55

Just tell her that as of next week you won't be able to give her a lift. Don't talk to your boss about it, it's not really anything to do with him.

Original poster

BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:55

Her husband alters his working hours on those days to enable him to take her to and from work, EricBana.

OP posts:

HoneyandHaycorns · 02/11/2011 22:55

Thinking about it, no matter how matey HR might be with your manager, they would struggle not to find in your favour in this case. I suspect your boss would probably deny putting any pressure on you at all. Get him to put it in writing before going down the grievance route. If he won't put it in writing, then ignore it and stop operating an unpaid taxi service.

MenopausalHaze · 02/11/2011 22:55

Nope - it's definitely a cow. A moo cow as my DS used to say. Many many moons ago!

fruitstick · 02/11/2011 22:56

There's no need to raise a grievance - just don't do it.

If your boss wants to take it further, then simply ask HR for a formal change to your job description including financial compensation, insurance etc etc

pozzled · 02/11/2011 22:58

I would talk to the colleague rather than the boss. It's not his business and he has absolutely no say in what you do on the way to and from work. Tomorrow, as you drop the colleague off I'd say 'This arrangement is not working for me. I will collect you and drop you off tomorrow (Friday) as normal, but I will not be able to give you a lft from Monday onwards. You will have to make alternative arrangements'.

She chose to take a job a distance away from her home. It's her problem.

HildaOgden · 02/11/2011 22:58

Have you thought about taking a sick day ,and seeing what they do?

proudfoot · 02/11/2011 22:58

I am gobsmacked at this - your boss and this colleague are so cheeky it beggars belief. Of course YANBU!!

Original poster

BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 23:00

HildaOgden, I am thinking of taking a sick day tomorrow as I have got a really bad cold and sore throat. My job involves a lot of telephone work so obviously it's difficult with a sore throat.

OP posts:

staylucky · 02/11/2011 23:00

Is your boss shagging this woman?

Floggingmolly · 02/11/2011 23:01

You are not preventing her getting into work! Surely there is public transport available if she doesn't drive? It is absolutely not your problem, and if your boss is so concerned about someone too feeble to make their own way into work, he must make suitable arrangements himself. I would ignore any veiled threats also, this is absolutely unenforceable.

HoneyandHaycorns · 02/11/2011 23:02

Well, if he's shagging her, perhaps he would like to pick her up each morning.

catsareevil · 02/11/2011 23:03

Just tell your boss that you will either stop taking her, or (if you want) that he needs to pay for the time spent driving her and for your expenses in petrol and insurance.

Your boss sounds very strange, why have you tolerated this for so long?

Eglu · 02/11/2011 23:06

This is seriously unbelievable. It astonishes me some of the stories I read on here.

If the woman has an issue with being able to get to work why did she take the job in the first place.

You go to her and tell her you can no longer take her to work as it is too difficult for you. Do not speak to your boss about it again unless he speaks to you about it. In which case then you do need to raise a grievance.

joanofarchitrave · 02/11/2011 23:06

If it's so bloomin important to save a work colleague from having to do what everyone else in the bloody world does (i.e. sort out their own transport or move nearer to work) then why isn't HE doing it?

Ring ACAS first thing. I'm such a wuss that I would do the lifts until I'd talked to them, but FGS bring this to an end by any means necessary. He's a nob.

LadyBeagleEyes · 02/11/2011 23:10

Be very, very careful what you say about cows or ducks.
There are eyes everywhere.

PattySimcox · 02/11/2011 23:11

If you can't face confrontation and actually tell her you don't want to continue the lifts and her unreasonable behaviour is annoying you then annoy her right back.

Ring her in the morning and tell her your car won't start so she will have to make her own way in.

Tell her that you are not going straight home but to X town in opposite direction.

Tell her in no uncertain terms that it is your car she is not to touch anything unless you say she can.

Be moody and rude so she doesn't like getting in your car.

I cannot believe that she is so cheeky; your boss is such a bully and that you won't speak out and refuse to do it.

pigletmania · 02/11/2011 23:13

YANBU at all! This is unacceptable. I don't drive, but would never ever expect another car driver to give me lifts, if I was not able to travel into work using public transport or other means, I would not take the job. Your boss is taking the piss, and I would go to HR or your boss line manager. This is not work duty, you are not responsible for a grown adult getting into work.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/11/2011 23:15

Half of mumsnet want to offer to take her or be you for the day just so we can tell your boss to FUCK off!

fruitstick · 02/11/2011 23:17

Yes, on reflection, this is an ideal time to wheel out the Mumsnet mantra.

'no' is a complete sentence.

GetOrfMo1Land · 02/11/2011 23:18

There is absolutely no need to raise a grievance.

Just tell the woman direct that you cannot waste 40 minutes a day picking her up and dropping her off, and that you will not do it any more.

Then stop picking her up.

Don't tell your boss at all, it has fuck all to do with him. This is not in your contract. There is no way that HR can side with him because it is blatantly out of order.

If y ou want to make it easier for yourself make a pack of lies up and say the car has blown up, and get the bus for a fortnight. Then just start driving the car, and if lazy bollocks makes a point about the lift, just say no.

NOBODY can make you do this.

pigletmania · 02/11/2011 23:21

The boss has a company car, and if he is so concerned about her getting to work, HE should give her lifts or ask to be provided with a company car and petrol expenses paid

GetOrfMo1Land · 02/11/2011 23:22

Is there any chance that your boss is nobbing the woman you give a lift to

Towndon · 02/11/2011 23:23

You prefer your own company out of working hours. Nothing wrong with that at all!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Swipe left for the next trending thread