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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to be forced into giving this woman a lift every day?

197 replies

BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:27

About 6 months ago a woman started working at the same place as me; she lives fairly locally to me, about 10 minutes away, and I work 30 minutes away from my workplace. The woman lives 10 minutes away in the opposite direction to my workplace.

When she started, she was getting a lift in each day with someone who worked for another company near our work. She doesn't drive. Her husband does but he works in a different town. About 3 months ago the person giving her a lift each day got a different job so the lifts from them had to stop. She went to our boss, who had the brainwave that I could give her a lift to and from work every day. Despite the fact that it was 10 minutes out of my way, so 10 minutes there and back twice a day equals another 40 minutes onto my day.

I said to my boss that I wasn't happy with it and he basically said "what are you complaining about, it will be petrol money for you each week, and she needs to get to work somehow". I'm not assertive so agreed to give it a try. However this woman has done nothing but take the piss; she is meant to give me petrol money each week but regularly forgets, and has now not paid me for 3 weeks, despite me asking her for it. She is also never ready when I pick her up in the mornings so I end up sitting in the car for up to 10 minutes. I have had enough of it. She also does things like turns the stereo on in the car without asking, and moans about things like the seat not being comfortable enough. And then of course there is the issue that I need to leave 20 minutes earlier each morning and get home 20 minutes later each night, which means my children are at the childminder for longer.

I went to see my boss today about her and said I will no longer be able to give her a lift, and he wasn't happy to say the least. He said that I am to perform any other duties apart from my job that he sees fit, and that making sure a fellow team member gets to work is important and that he will take further action towards me if I prevent this colleague from getting to work.

I don't know what to do; obviously I don't want to piss my boss off but I cannot continue with giving this woman a lift everyday. I'm not a taxi driver but I feel I'm being used like one. Surely it's not my responsibility to make sure someone else - a grown adult - gets to work everyday? Or am I being mean spirited?

OP posts:
fruitstick · 02/11/2011 22:41

well ask him to borrow it then Wink

MrBloomsNursery · 02/11/2011 22:41

What does this have to do with your boss? Confused. If he's made it his business, then the company should be paying for the expenses. Also, why the hell can't this woman at least get a bus or something up to where you live, so you can just pick her up as you go to work, instead of driving back and forth?

Sorry, but you need to be assertive about this, and say NO. You have children for goodness sake. Just say you need to get home to them quickly.

I had this problem at work once, but I nipped it in the bud by saying my DD comes first, and I don't want to be late picking her up from nursery everyday. This is what you need to say.

Good luck

fruitstick · 02/11/2011 22:41

sorry - that was really illiterate but you know what I mean!

Antidote · 02/11/2011 22:42

Why not tell the woman that, due to childcare issues, you will give her a lift, but from your house, leaving at a set time (obv giving you time to drop your dc at the child minder), and only when she has paid petrol money a week in advance.

If she is late, leave without her. If she hasn't paid the petrol money leave (or submit receipt to boss).

If it is only a 10 min drive from hers to yours it can't be too far to walk or bike.

Antidote · 02/11/2011 22:42

X post!

troisgarcons · 02/11/2011 22:43

(e) depreciation costs on the vehicle!

fruitstick · 02/11/2011 22:43

You could also say that your childminder's circumstances have changed and you have to pick up earlier. Whilst it does not mean you need to leave earlier, it does preclude you from giving her a lift home or you will both have to leave 20 minutes earlier.

Or just give her a lift to your house and she can make her own way.

MenopausalHaze · 02/11/2011 22:45

Another made up story? What, actually, the fuck is going on today?

Your boss has NO jurisdiction whatsoever over your life outside of work and anyone who believes otherwise is frankly insane!

Original poster
BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:45

It's not just the inconvenience issue that bothers me; it's her attitude too. She literally gets in the car and turns the stereo on. After sorting the kids out in the morning, I rather like a quiet drive to work. She fiddles constantly with the heaters and air conditioning. She huffs and puffs and moves her seat back and forwards and says my car seats aggravate her bad back. She really is ungrateful. She never utters a word of thanks and doesn't even so much as make me a cup of coffee when she makes herself one at work. She has a huge sense of entitlement.

OP posts:
PattySimcox · 02/11/2011 22:46

Boss and colleague both UR piss takers.

If you want to continue the arrangement tell her that you will do so provided that:

-she gets a lift to and from your house
-she pays you up front
-she is on time

If you don't want to give her a lift then tell her it is not working for you and you are not doing it. None of your bosses business unless you are being paid to do so and given a company car in which to do it.,

MenopausalHaze · 02/11/2011 22:47

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Hmm
HoneyandHaycorns · 02/11/2011 22:47

Shock Your boss sounds like a total arse!

I would ask him to clarify in writing if he considers this to be a part of your job. If so, you will need to be paid for the extra time, you will need to submit a mileage claim and you will need business insurance on your car, as others have said. Is he willing to pay for all this?

If he won't put it in writing that this is one of the requirements of your job, then he knows he is on very shaky ground and he is just trying to intimidate you. He has no right whatsoever to dictate how you get to work or who you give lifts to, and if the company is concerned about how your colleague is going to get there, they can arrange a taxi. it isn't your problem.

Personally, in your situation, I would be familiarising myself with the grievance policy.

PattySimcox · 02/11/2011 22:48

x posted with quite a few people.

Tell her to get stuffed.

Am irrationally angry on your behalf

LeBOF · 02/11/2011 22:48

She must have some pictures of the boss in a gimp-suit shagging a farmyard animal.

MenopausalHaze · 02/11/2011 22:49

A cow? I bet it's a cow.

LeBOF · 02/11/2011 22:50

Too right.

Original poster
BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:50

Can you raise a grievance at work even if HR don't want you to? It's a reasonably small firm, the managers are all very cliquey and I'm pretty sure that the HR manager will side with my boss and try to make out I am unreasonable for not wanting to give the lifts.

OP posts:
tethersend · 02/11/2011 22:51

I have an idea. It's a little out there, but bear with me.

Tomorrow morning, get in your car, turn on the engine and drive straight to work. Alone.

FrightNight · 02/11/2011 22:51

Question for your boss: if you were to leave the organisation would the next applicant be required to give a lift to this employee?

MenopausalHaze · 02/11/2011 22:52

The HR manager in this imaginary scenario wouldn't be any kind of an HR manager if she/he didn't know that your imaginary boss wasn't being completely unreasonable and acting outside of employment law

GreenEyesandNiceHam · 02/11/2011 22:52

Is your job to actually be the company doormat? I mean do you literally lie face down across the threshold?

HoneyandHaycorns · 02/11/2011 22:52

Yes, you can raise a grievance and HR can't stop you. But there is no guarantee that it will be properly investigated.

brightspark2 · 02/11/2011 22:53

Yes you can. One key phrase is 'unfair treatment' it triggers their statutory unfair treatment policy.

MrsEricBana · 02/11/2011 22:53

So how does she get to work when you are off sick / on holiday then?

thenightsky · 02/11/2011 22:53

I'd be slapping her hands if she fiddled with my stereo or heat settings... cheeky mare Shock

And if she started whining about seat comfort, I'd pull over, reach over her, open her door and say 'get out then'.

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