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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to be forced into giving this woman a lift every day?

197 replies

BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:27

About 6 months ago a woman started working at the same place as me; she lives fairly locally to me, about 10 minutes away, and I work 30 minutes away from my workplace. The woman lives 10 minutes away in the opposite direction to my workplace.

When she started, she was getting a lift in each day with someone who worked for another company near our work. She doesn't drive. Her husband does but he works in a different town. About 3 months ago the person giving her a lift each day got a different job so the lifts from them had to stop. She went to our boss, who had the brainwave that I could give her a lift to and from work every day. Despite the fact that it was 10 minutes out of my way, so 10 minutes there and back twice a day equals another 40 minutes onto my day.

I said to my boss that I wasn't happy with it and he basically said "what are you complaining about, it will be petrol money for you each week, and she needs to get to work somehow". I'm not assertive so agreed to give it a try. However this woman has done nothing but take the piss; she is meant to give me petrol money each week but regularly forgets, and has now not paid me for 3 weeks, despite me asking her for it. She is also never ready when I pick her up in the mornings so I end up sitting in the car for up to 10 minutes. I have had enough of it. She also does things like turns the stereo on in the car without asking, and moans about things like the seat not being comfortable enough. And then of course there is the issue that I need to leave 20 minutes earlier each morning and get home 20 minutes later each night, which means my children are at the childminder for longer.

I went to see my boss today about her and said I will no longer be able to give her a lift, and he wasn't happy to say the least. He said that I am to perform any other duties apart from my job that he sees fit, and that making sure a fellow team member gets to work is important and that he will take further action towards me if I prevent this colleague from getting to work.

I don't know what to do; obviously I don't want to piss my boss off but I cannot continue with giving this woman a lift everyday. I'm not a taxi driver but I feel I'm being used like one. Surely it's not my responsibility to make sure someone else - a grown adult - gets to work everyday? Or am I being mean spirited?

OP posts:
MrsMellowDrummer · 02/11/2011 22:30

So he considers it a "work duty". Is this duty to be part of your working hours for the day? If so, then fair enough. If not, then it's none of his business really if you don't want to do it.

whackamole · 02/11/2011 22:31

Tell him you are getting a bike and she will have to as well.

What a cheeky fucker. Her and him!

Original poster
BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:32

No, not part of my working hours each day

OP posts:
Kayano · 02/11/2011 22:32

Tell him to pay all the expenses then because she hasn't

And you aren't preventing her from getting to work as she has legs, can walk and / or get on a damn bus

troisgarcons · 02/11/2011 22:32

If he considers it work duty
(a) put a claim into work for the petrol monry!
(b) get a quite for your car insurance and submit that as wel(c) an hours over time every day

He'll soon get the message.

MrsMellowDrummer · 02/11/2011 22:32

Then yeah... Whackamole's bike plan sounds like a go-er!

troisgarcons · 02/11/2011 22:33

(d) an extra hours child minding bill

ZillionChocolate · 02/11/2011 22:33

I don't think you are being mean. It's not just costing you petrol, it's costing you time and presumably childcare too. I wouldn't be willing to do this unless I really liked someone and they were a good and considerate passenger. I would probably give her a little notice to sort this out and then stop it.

No idea about the employment law situation so perhaps it's worth checking out first. Your boss sounds like a bully so it'd be useful to know where you stand.

bigbuttons · 02/11/2011 22:33

Is it in your job description then, giving lifts?

No, thought not. He's taking the piss and so is she. Ask HIM to pay for the petrol AND your time AND the extra for the childminder then see what he says.

slavetofilofax · 02/11/2011 22:33

Do you have an HR department?

Hassled · 02/11/2011 22:33

I can't believe this. You have no responsibilities towards your boss or your job when you finish work for the day, and your boss knows this. Is he shagging this woman or something? You're right, it's not your problem. Just tell her (not the boss) that you cannot continue after this week - and explain why: the childcare issues, the lateness etc. Then don't show up at her door Monday morning, then look for another job.

troisgarcons · 02/11/2011 22:33

Oh and if you really want to reinforce the point ....take her to the cash point on payday

purplepidjin · 02/11/2011 22:33

As it's a work duty, he will obviously be paying you 50p per mile plus compensating you for the extra time your children spend at the childminder, which is rounded to the nearest hour...

squeakytoy · 02/11/2011 22:34

If he considers it part of your work duty, then you need business insurance, and they should be paying you for it. It isnt, you havent, and they dont. So tell him to fuck off, (politely).

Is there a way into work on public transport? I would use that for a couple of days to get the message across. Or get someone else to give you a lift.

MrsKwazii · 02/11/2011 22:34

How your colleague gets to work is her responsibility and noone elses.

I think you need to discuss it with your colleague that the arrangement isn't working for you though - not tell your boss that you won't do it anymore. It's actually none of his business.

The fact that it's screwing up your day and affecting our children just isn't worth all the hassle. But you know that though.

Can you discuss this with HR? The threat of 'further action' seems totally OTT IMO. Nothing to do with your work or responsibilities. He sounds like a bully.

AMAZINWOMAN · 02/11/2011 22:34

I think you should have spoken to your colleague first, before your boss, but YANBU in being upset

LineRunnerBonfireMother · 02/11/2011 22:34

If he's telling you that this is part of your job, then you get paid for it (i.e. it's 'on the clock') and the business needs to pay you mileage, and your boss needs to do a risk assessment...........

And in the meantime, while all this is being sorted out, you musn't let the other employee in your car for insurance reasons.

And then put in a backclaim for time owed and mileage. Smile

crystalglasses · 02/11/2011 22:35

Shock It's not part of your employment contract and your boss is completely out of order. Stick to your guns. This woman needs to sort her own travel problems out without involving you.

emsyj · 02/11/2011 22:36

You shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place, but YWNBU to just stop turning up to get her. Or alternatively, turn up, beep once and if she doesn't immediately appear and leap in the car just drive off and cheerfully tell your boss 'oh I called to pick her up but she wasn't there'.

They are both cheeky as feck.

Chynah · 02/11/2011 22:36

If its a work duty he should be paying you for the extra time. I would tell him NO and then speak to ACAS/ CAB - he is abusing his employer staus (and is bullying). Is he covering you insurance wise for seeing her to/from work (I doubt it). He is taking the P*ss big time - if anyone has a duty of care to her it is HIM. STOP picking her up and if there are repercussions seek legal advice.

fruitstick · 02/11/2011 22:38

It is clearly not part of your working duty.

Is it a company car? Do you get a car allowance? Tell him that you can't get to work either so he will have to find another employee to pick both of you up?

If he wants it to be part of your job description you should be compensated for your time and expenses by the company.

eurochick · 02/11/2011 22:38

If it's part of your job then it should be done in work hours and your employer should pay your expenses.

It's not. This is just your boss taking the piss and this woman taking advantage.

Original poster
BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:40

I spoke to him rather than the woman because he set it all up on her behalf, she never asked me herself, so I figured it was best to go via him as it was all his doing.

I will talk to her though. We live in a rural area but I think there is a bus, although it would mean me leaving home even earlier than normal, but it would be worth it to make my point.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 02/11/2011 22:40

"He said that I am to perform any other duties apart from my job that he sees fit, and that making sure a fellow team member gets to work is important and that he will take further action towards me if I prevent this colleague from getting to work."

I'd have asked for that in writing.

Original poster
BellaBahBooBoo · 02/11/2011 22:40

No, not a company car. The boss, however, does have one.

OP posts:
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