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AIBU to expect people to buy 2 presents for my daughter who's birthday is 23rd December, and not one joint one for Xmas AND birthday?

157 replies

whatkatiedidnext31 · 02/11/2011 21:13

This is starting to make my blood boil, as a few family members have said about buying a joint present for her, however surely nobody would say this if her birthday was in June? Am I just being super sensitive??? Shock

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 02/11/2011 21:13

Tell them she needs two presents one for her birthday and one for Christmas as it is not fair.


Dawndonna · 02/11/2011 21:15

No, my birthday is early December and I hated having joint presents as a child.


Feenie · 02/11/2011 21:16

No, YANBU - I have had this all my life with a 29th Dec birthday and now ds has it with his 21st one.

You would think I would know better than to have a baby then, wouldn't you! Hmm


manicbmc · 02/11/2011 21:17

It bugs me too as my kids' birthday is 27th of December. I'd do a joint pressie for something really expensive but then I'd do that if they had their birthday in June. But my kids are nearly 17.

If someone just gets your dd one pressie (unless it's something more than you'd expect) I'd make a point of forgetting that person's next birthday and tell them they had their present at Christmas - see how they like it.


squeakytoy · 02/11/2011 21:17

YANBU, but as I have a stepdaughter whose birthday is 24 december, she has had this all her life..


IneedAbetterNickname · 02/11/2011 21:17

Well we could argue that you shouldn't expect people to buy her presents full stop (but I know you didn't mean that)

YANBU, unless she wants something really expensive, in which case the fact that her birthday is so close to Christmas is irrelevant. When I was younger I got a TV one year as joint Christmas/birthday (which is in August)


StrandedBear · 02/11/2011 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeamDamon · 02/11/2011 21:18

My niece's birthday is very close to Christmas and I am determined to make sure that she always has separate presents (including birthday wrapping paper for the birthday present) until she is old enough to request a joint present if that is what she wants (thinking of teenager wanting one more expensive thing rather than two cheaper things, iyswim).

YANBU - as you say, most people wouldn't dream of doing this if her birthday was in summer.


whatkatiedidnext31 · 02/11/2011 21:18

Feenie, tell me about it! haha! my hubbie is also a 29th Dec person, and he hated it as a kid, I'll be watching what happens christmas morning! Wink

OP posts:

Haggyoldclothbatspus · 02/11/2011 21:18

YABU to expect anything, but yanbu to think that those who do are being unfair!


troisgarcons · 02/11/2011 21:19

It would depend on 'value' .... as tacky as that sounds.

However I have to say YABU to 'expect' presents. Grin

But if it were the choice of two small presents or one larger one, I think most children would like the larger one.

It would depend on peoples financial ability to lay out at an expensive time of year too


Mishy1234 · 02/11/2011 21:19


My niece's birthday is on the 23rd Dec and I always make a special effort to ensure she has separate presents. Just say to family members that it's tough having a birthday so close to Christmas (for organising parties etc) and you want her to be able to enjoy her birthday separately.


Doilooklikeatourist · 02/11/2011 21:20

No , YANBU !
My husband's birthday is December 23rd and he still needs separate presents for his birthday and Christmas , and why not ? It's 2 separate occasions !
He still remembers not being bitter at alll one of his Aunties giving him a jumper and saying it's for your birthday and Christmas , and thinking that he didn't want it for either !


my2centsis · 02/11/2011 21:20

My ds is due 14th dec im very worried about going overdue and having this same exact problem!!! i would never only buy a child with a bday close to xmas a joint gift!!! YANBU, i would also feel very disappointed and bad for your ds


wannaBe · 02/11/2011 21:20

no yanbu to be annoyed about it, but I'm afraid that is just a drawback of having a baby at christmas. My mum's birthday is on christmas day and she hated it. I deliberately didn't ttc that month because I didn't want a christmas baby.


redpanda13 · 02/11/2011 21:21

My much, much younger sister's birthday is the 23rd too. She only liked the joint present idea if it meant she got one fantastic present that she would not have got as either a lone birthday or Christmas present. Last year for her 18th she got an I-pad. There was no way she would have got that as a lone present.


topknob · 02/11/2011 21:22

My son was born Xmas day in 2001...However he was 8 weeks we decided before his 1st birthday that we would celebrate his birthday on his due date rather than his actual birth day. Obviously all legal docs are the correct date but no celebrations of his birthday happen on Xmas day, other than me whispering every morning a quiet happy birthday to him when he is asleep ! This works well for us, he doesn't have to share his day with the other kids and xmas is xmas. He knows now he is almost 10 that his birthday is xmas day but he doesn't give it any thought as yet. It will be his choice how he celebrates as he gets older.

SOOOOOO after all that YANBU !!!!!!!!!! I would be proper pissed off if ANYONE gave him a joint present !


whatkatiedidnext31 · 02/11/2011 21:22

strandedbear, I may of worded that slightly harshly, I truly meant that if people are kind enough to buy her a gift, I would hope they wouldnt join the two together Blush

OP posts:

guthriegirl · 02/11/2011 21:22

I've experienced this too. My son was born early Dec. One of my siblings suggested a joint prezzie. I said ' Good idea. I'll do same for your DD', whose birthday is early Jan. Sibling retracted joint prezzie idea quicksmart! To be fair sibling is normally quite thoughtful.


Xmasbaby11 · 02/11/2011 21:22

My baby is due at Xmas and I suspect we'll have the same problem. I do think it's not fair because all children like to celebrate a birthday and it's very important, not something to be lumped in with a joint celebration.

I think the presents and cards should be separate unless t's something big. As a parent I would do that, definitely, but you can't really tell other people what to buy unless they ask for advice. I'm afraid she will probably have to get used to her birthday being forgotten (apart from v close friends and family) her whole life.

Do you have a separate celebration for her birthday? That might help to make it distinct.


Heavensmells · 02/11/2011 21:23

YANBU. My DS is 6 on 23rd Dec and people have suggested this to me. I know he's probably not too bothered at the moment but it winds me up! Sometimes people who have bought lovely things for DD who's birthday is in April totally forget ds's birthday then will say well you shouldnt have had him so near Xmas!


pigletmania · 02/11/2011 21:23

As long as the present is a nice expensive one Wink


squeakytoy · 02/11/2011 21:24

My birthday is in February and that is too close to Christmas for my liking...


Xmasbaby11 · 02/11/2011 21:24

I'm due on Xmas day .. REALLY hope baby comes at least a couple of days before/after that!


startail · 02/11/2011 21:25

We always gave my cousin, who's birthdays just after Christmas 2 things.
My birthday is in Nov and I have negotiated joint presents when I was older and wanted bikes and cameras, but I always got a little something to open on the other occasion as well.

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