AIBU to expect people to buy 2 presents for my daughter who's birthday is 23rd December, and not one joint one for Xmas AND birthday?

[whatkatiedidnext31]

This is starting to make my blood boil, as a few family members have said about buying a joint present for her, however surely nobody would say this if her birthday was in June? Am I just being super sensitive???

YA soooo NBU!

It's a totally separate thing. so should be celebrated separately.

Christmas is an expensive time, but should DS be punished and not celebrate his birthday then
TBH I'd rather he had a little thing for Christmas from the poundshop or similar and that he had his bigger presents for his birthday-it's his special day, no one else's, whereas Christmas is for all.

YANBU at all, my ds3 will be 7 on the 23rd of dec and so far he has not had any joint presents, family members know that it would be totally unfair, esp as most of his siblings have summer bdays, why should the get bday presents and him not just because he happened to be born near xmas!

and as for the financial side of it, well its not like its sprung on anyone at short notice is it? they know in advance when a childs birthday is, they were BORN on that day, so you plan and budget.

with regards to parties we are having ds3's party the first wkend when they break up for xmas holidays so the 17th of dec, a week or so before his bday but still close enough for it to feel birthdayish iyswim?

YANBU.
I would do exactly what another poster said. Buy them only one gift.

Ds's birthday is in the middle of November, so not anything like as bad and of course we don't get the one present instead of two thing, but every year so far we've bought him something that he might otherwise be expected to get as a birthday or Christmas present in the summer.

The main reason is that I found I was seeing something like, say, a scooter and thinking "oh ds would really love that, I'll get it for his birthday" and then realising his birthday was almost a year away, Christmas was almost a year away and he'd get good use of it in the summer. We're not particularly well off so don't tend to buy many toys outside of birthdays or Christmas but make an exception for this because they're so close for him.

Anyway, Y absolutely NBU, but I kind of get why (unthinking) people do what they do because it does feel like late winter born children are getting loads of presents in a short time - but of course that's only because they're not getting anything the rest of the year!

YANBU. My bday is 23 Dec and it is truly gutting as a child to only get one gift for both when everyone else appears to get 2. Made me feel a lot less loved by people. My parents went to great lengths not to do it but had no say over others!
Don't forget this is on top of the fact that you cannot always see your friends for your bday due to the holiday & other commitments. & people just forget your bday.

So yes please do make close friends & family aware that if they wish to give a gift they need to differentiate between Christmas & bday UNLESS it is a HUGE gift!!!
Good luck

YANBU I'm a December baby too (30th) and growing up this was awful. My Mum & Dad always made sure my gifts were in separate paper etc but so many family members would do the joint thing.

Also birthday parties were a nightmare because of being between Christmas and New Year (although post 16 were great because I have bought a NYE drink!)

I am getting a joint pressie from DH this year for my 30th as its a big present!

My SIL's is Xmas Day and EVERY YEAR I say, "DH, we need to buy something for SIL" and he says, "we don't do Christmas presents". No, but it is her birthday and you do do birthday presents. Poor woman called me the first Christmas, in tears, because I sent flowers and said that no one ever remembers.

My birthday is the 23rd and I had joint presents throughout my childhood. I liked it. They were bigger. Everyone did it, not just my parents, it really didn't mark me at all.

YANBU. DS2's birthday quite often falls at Easter. Nobody buys him an Easter egg as a birthday gift or complains that they can't afford a present due to the expense of egg purchasing . OK, I know Easter is not the same as Christmas cost wise but same principle IMO. A child should have a seperate birthday & Christmas gift unless they have asked for something high value as a joint present IMHO.

Lol at the op being jumped on in true mn style for 'expecting' anything. You have to be soo careful how you word things on here

Yadnbu to want Christmas and birthdays to be separate. Def not. Speaking as a January birthday person.

YANBU. My son is 23rd December too. Luckilly he hasn't (yet) received joint presents but he does constantly get birthday presents wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. Petty as it is that bugs me a bit as I lke to make a point of distinguishing the birthday stuff from the Xmas stuff and it just feels like people haven't bothered, just used the Xmas paper they had lying around anyway.

I'm sure that sounds ungrateful and my son doesn't care but secretly that's how I feel. I wouldn't and haven't expressed that to any gift=givers!

My birthday is 23 Dec and when I was a child, my relatives would send my mum cheques asking her to get me presents for both Christmas and birthday using the money. She got frustrated doing this, knowing that there were things I would want/need in the summer which she wouldn't necessarily be able to buy. So she decided that I would have a second 'unofficial' birthday in the summer (on her birthday for some reason) when I would get bigger birthday presents from close relatives. On my real birthday in December, I would get cards and would have a party on or around the date for my friends.

(There was still the odd occasion when I didn't have a birthday cake, but had a 'Happy Birthday' sign on top of the Xmas cake - and I don't like Xmas cake!)

This worked really well till I was 18, when they decided I was old enough to deal with having my birthday on a crap day.

Now in my 40s, I still don't get joint presents, but for the most part my relatives give me money which I then spend on various bits and pieces. DH gets me lovely presents for my birthday and Xmas from him and the DDs (he knows I'd be v pissed off with a joint present).

The thing that never fails to piss me off is when people give me a Christmas card which says '...and happy birthday' in it .

So, after that ramble, no YANBU!

I've just realised that everyone I know with a late December birthday (all 4 of them [smile), are really "bah humbug" about Christmas. I wonder if this it why? Some sort of subconscious resentment .

DS was born on Xmas Day. Xmas has always been that bit more special. The presents have never been a problem - he always had a party a few weeks later when he was little. What was difficult though and we didn't realise until we had dd, was that he never got presents that were appropriate for the summer. DD, for example, had paddling pools, slides, sandpits, etc., DS always got outdoor things.

We have offered many times to do a 1/2 birthday for him but he's never been especially bothered and because there is a biggish gap they have never wanted a joint summer party.

Has never really been a problem for us - we have just taken the joint presents on the chin and always tried to make up for it. The upside of course is that XBoxes, Wii's, drums have never been a problem because we have always said you are only having those things (with a game or two) because it is your birthday and christmas. Perhaps we are mean. DS is 17 this year and has never complained - we always made sure the cakes went into school on the first day back after the holidays and he doesn't seem to have missed out. Just didn't fancy calling him Jesus

tkband3 That is awful about the card! HOW can people do that, I really dont mean to sound ungrateful, were all in tough times, but my little girl didnt ask to be born then....so we'll see....I'll be like a mad thing on the 23rd and 25th December....watching all parcels coming in! Ill get a bloody ulcer!

YANBU - I often got combined pressies for my 18th Dec birthday. Could have been worse - I was due 25th! It isn't about size - it is about when you get the present. Do your parents hide them until Christmas, leaving you with meagre offerings on the more personal Birthday, or else give them to you for the Birthday and leave you with no surprises at Christmas? I don't think a kid under about 12 should have a joint pressie unless it is specifically requested.

YANBU Mine's is on the 21st and I hated that when I was wee, also hated those 'For your December birthday' cards.

Mine is the 6th Dec and because I make such a song and dance about it, I never get joint presents, but I do get birthday presents from my parents and brother in Christmas paper which really, really pisses me off.

This thread is sooo interesting! It's DD's 1st birthday on 24th Dec and am having a little family gathering for her. I have already made people aware and arranged it for a time so as not to interfere with last minute shopping etc. Since she was born, so many people have commented about 'joint' presents and how she will never have a proper birthday so it's great to see how other's deal with this.

I am determined for her to have her special day as she grows up - I know she's only going to be 1 this year so won't know any different but aiming to start as I mean to carry on!

DC2 has a boxing day birthday (3 weeks early) and so far has not had any joint presents - in fact people are really kind and make sure he has birthday wrapping paper etc.

I do think December birthdays are a nightmare though - although DC1 is August which isn't so great either. Gosh wasn't I rubbish at planning my births

Bendybob...I am starting to see what u mean

i don't mind joints presents for my birthday/christmas ( mines 14th) however i hate getting a birthday present wrapped in christmas wrapping WHY????