AIBU to expect people to buy 2 presents for my daughter who's birthday is 23rd December, and not one joint one for Xmas AND birthday?

[whatkatiedidnext31]

This is starting to make my blood boil, as a few family members have said about buying a joint present for her, however surely nobody would say this if her birthday was in June? Am I just being super sensitive???

My teenage daughter prefers one larger present and often asks for money anyway. When younger we'd ask some relatives to give us money for her birthday so we could buy her a present in the summer that she fancied as her ability, interests and clothes size was changing so rapidly and it seemed daft having 2 lots of 2 year old stuff then nothing until she's 3. Our relatives were sensible and happy to go with this or would ask if they could choose something themselves in the summer.

My birthday is boxing day and when I was littleI hated having joint presents.

It's was like "Here's your xmas present..oh and for your birthday (afterthought)"

BUT I loved it when I got older because I could ask for bigger things that I normally wouldn't have had a chance a getting if I couldn't play the "joint" present card

Basically i totally agree, how stupid of me for having a baby then! hehe! coming home from hospital christmas day with a newborn is not recommended
but hey, all good fun

Yes, I am a december baby. It's fairly shit everyone's saving up for christmas, plus they think you'll be ok with the one gift.

As a child - you're not!

Since you cannot possibly demand 2 gifts without looking bloody rude, might I suggest the following totally PA manipulation.

Phase 1
Ask them if they are going to use birthday wrapping paper or christmas wrapping paper.

Ask them if they would prefer her to open her gift from them on her birthday or on christmas morning.

That should get them thinking.

Phase two.

Start asking people if they would mind if you rewrapped their gift in fancy birthday paper (if they used xmas paper) / xmas paper (if they used birthday paper), because you want her to have a birthday too, like everyone else, so you are dividing gifts into birthday and christmas, so she has something to open on both days.

If they don't get it after that, there's no hope

It really isn't about the value of a gift, hell it can be a packet of plasticine from the bloody pound shop! It is about someone having their birthday and it not being taken over by christmas.

My parents always used to put up the christmas decs on my birthday. Apparently, this made my birthday 'special'

I promise you that it did not.

No, YANBU.

Christmas is for everyone, but birthdays are a persons special day.

Of course she should have seperate presents to define the two occasions.

Just MHO.

My sons birthday is on Christmas day and my exh and his family ignored his birthday completely after the first year. He doesn't feel he missed out thou because I always bought him something on his sisters birthday and I bought a joint summer present in July, eg, swing, chute, paddling pool, etc, I just got on with what I wanted to do and I stopped buying the outlaws anything for their birthdays. And my daughter never minded her brother getting something on her birthday as she got loads of presents on his!

DD is the 17th. Luckily my Brother and Brother in law have birthdays quite close to Christmas too and have already made it clear to everyone that joint presents suck and should not happen.

YANBU.

I give DN a present on June 26th not Dec 26th instead.

Soooooo NBU!!

I'm another December 27th and I still hate it.

What bothers me more though is the lack of though because I am after 'The Big Day'. It's like people think 'chuck her a tenner and that will do'.

birthday parties are a nightmare too for late december birthday people... :(

This must be so hard for those with December birthdays, it would really annoy me also.

I suggest you do it back to those who are doing it to your daughter, buy them a joint birthday / xmas present, no matter when their birthday is.

I am sure they will soon get the message!

I'm not sure it's reasonable to have any expectations of present givers - it's a lovely thing that they are doing of their own volition.

But YADNBU with the underlying sentiment. We have two birthdays just before Christmas, and we've always been careful to have separate presents and also not to put up Christmas decorations until the day after.

Depending on what the DC actually wants, one bigger present might be a valid choice if and only if there is a little something to unwrap on the other occasion. Perhaps that might be something you could gently and tactfully suggest to potential donors of a one big thing? It needn't cost much - one DC was delighted with luminous gloves which I knew came from Poundland.

I booked DD's party in June just to make sure we didn't get our day taken over by a Christmas party :)

Hecategoddessofthenight, I like your way of thinking and overthehillmum, i have also thought about doing something in the summer, she will only be 2 this Bday, so no biggie, but never the less, we'll see what happens x

well you're not being unreasonable to want them to but it will never happen so you should resign yourself to it

Mine's due 16th Dec. My nanna is nearing 80, her birthday is Xmas day, and we still always buy separate and wrap one in birthday and one in xmas paper. One family friend came for Xmas lunch one day and wrapped one slipper in bday paper and one slipper in Xmas paper which we all thought was lovely, as it was an impromptu invite and so good of him to consider her.

I dont 'expect' people to buy my LO a bday or Xmas gift, but imagine that close family would want to, as I do for them / theirs. Id rather two small token gifts with separate intentions than one joint gift. Certainly until its a teenager and asks to have them 'clubbed' together.

I always used to book the kids' party for the week they went back to school. That way people had the invites before the holidays. It worked for us.

Having said that, I never had birthday parties as my birthday is in the summer holidays Not that I'm bitter or anything

I think YABU. What about money issues for said buyers of presents? Christmas is an expensive time, and I'm sure they mean no offence when they want to give a joint present.

Plus you should never expect anything anyway FGS - family or not.

Also, ofcourse they wouldn't give a joint present if DC's birthday was in June! That's a pretty daft comparison to your situation and doesn't make any sense.

YANBU that is so annoying and inconsiderate. My bday is early Jan and I hate it. No one wants to celebrate, everyone is broke (not that I am so interested in gifts but it affects going out etc!) and we have just had christmas so I am always feeling chubby!

So Nooby, why should someone born in December have to not have their birthday celebrated?

Yes Christmas is expensive but I think it's a bit tight to not even offer a small token gift to a child.

No YANBU - My sons birthday is a week after christmas - to be honest so far it has all blurred into one celebration for him - he is going to be 5 this year. He thinks it is all one fab time of year and doesn't think he is missing out. I don't think though they expect presents from everyone the same. We have always tried to keep it seperate and started a family tradition of going to the panto for a birthday celebration.

I can see where having a 'bigger & better' present would be probably what people are thinking of - ie you get more of a present for £20 than £10. And to be honest for my DS if family have asked what he would like, I have said money, then I have clubbed together the funds and bought something bigger like a scooter for him.

It's not the money we object to Nooby. It's the assumption that our birthdays are less important because of where they happen to fall.

The best presents I got were from my best friend on my 30th. One of those single teapots that sit on the cup, a box of English breakfast tea and biscuits.
Cost her less than £10 and made me very happy because she 'knew' me and my tastes.

It's not as if it sneaks up on anyone though Nooby, birthdays are the same day every year so people should be able to budget.

It's not like it's DD's fault that she happened to be born when she was, why should she have her birthday ignored just because she happened to be born close to Christmas?

Well, I don't think christmas being tight is an excuse. Although people use it as an excuse I certainly heard a lot of 'saving up for christmas' when I was a kid.

But, you know what? They can always buy a gift earlier in the year and save it. That's what I'd do. If a family member or close friend was a christmas baby and I knew money was tight round then, I'd buy them something in any one of the other 11 months of the year and hang onto it. I mean, it's not like you don't know their birthday is going to happen, is it?

general you, not you you.