AIBU to expect people to buy 2 presents for my daughter who's birthday is 23rd December, and not one joint one for Xmas AND birthday?

[whatkatiedidnext31]

This is starting to make my blood boil, as a few family members have said about buying a joint present for her, however surely nobody would say this if her birthday was in June? Am I just being super sensitive???

YANBU, My DS was born on Hogmanay (31st Dec) and i'd hate if someone suggested one present, i'd feel he was cheated because of the time of year he was born.

However if it's the case that they don't have a lot of money to spend then that would be fine with me, but if they are spending the same amount as normal then say £40 for both, when they could do £20/£20 i'd be a bit but each to their own, no one is obliged to buy for my DS, but i would be a ickle bit annoyed, as it's not fair.

Tell them that my mother is over 80yrs and is still upset that people gave her joint presents as a DC!

CJmommy, bad planning on our parts eh?
I think when they are so small, it doesnt matter as much, but I know how it made my hubby feel having his bday on 29/12 growing up, so i just want to start as I mean to go on.
My little girl will have 2 piles of presents for sure! christ, we may be here till easter opening the buggers!

YANBU. DS Birthday is Christmas Day, I have asked nicely insisted that if they are going to get him presents that he has a Christmas and a Birthday present. You are right, if your birthday was at any other time of the year, unless you are older and are having an expensive present you would not get a joint present.

I do also ask nicely insist that if any presents are bought that they are wrapped in the appropriate paper. Don't know anyone else who gets their Birthday presents wrapped in Crimble paper.

And yes too, Birthday AND Christmas cards (if you only want to get one card - make it a Birthday one).

And yes too as well to having a "royal" birthday in June for parties etc.

I really feel for DS, and don't want him penalised for the fact that I couldn't cook him properly and he had to be born then instead of later on in January when he was due.

Though to be honest it is only one person who attempts MIL to circumvent this.

YANBU to encourage those who wish to give presents to give two (or at least wrap something up in birthday paper!)

I was born on my mums birthday which is a few days after Christmas so not only do we run the gauntlet of joint Christmas/Birthday presents, we have the risk of joint joint Christmas/Birthday presents.

We got a tin of Crawford's Rover biscuits one year between the two of us from an fairly well off relative. I, as a 15y/o, really appreciated it

We make it until about 2.30pm on Christmas Day, then he starts to flag on the opening of presents - and he doesn't get a huge amount of either

I started as we meant to go on ... just wanted to make sure that he would have an extra special day and not miss out in the slightest. We do Christmas in the morning and Birthday in the afternoon after the Turkey - so Christmas Tea is in fact a Birthday Tea with cake and candles means we get two cakes, Christmas and Birthday, yay!!

YANBU. I don't have any family with birthdays at this time but I have 2 mindees (I'm a childminder) whose birthdays are 20th & 21st Dec. Sometimes their last day with me before new year is on or before their bday and they are given a present for their birthday (in bday wrap) and a present for Christmas (with xmas wrap). Unless I knew there was something they would REALLY REALLY love which they would prefer and understand why there was only 1 present, I'd never do it.

YANBU.

Am another 23rd birthday girl but seem to be against the norm because I LOVE my birthday!!! However I have only received 2 joint presents in my lifetime (30 odd years), one when I was 5, way too young to remember it but my mum reminds me, and the other when I was 18 (Wonderbra from my lovely best mate). Oddly the advantage of having a birthday that near Christmas is that I've never had to go to school on my birthday and only ever worked on my 18th & 21st due to company closing for chrimbo . My parties were always loved as with the decorations up, my friends liked the jolliness of it all.

I will never never never understand or forgive anyone who gives me a birthday present wrapped in Christmas paper, especially if they've gone to the 'trouble' of crossing out the words 'Merry Christmas' across it and replacing it with a handwritten 'Happy Birthday' No no no no no no!!

DD2 is Christmas Day baby and we're planning on celebrating her day on Christmas Eve until she decides otherwise. We'll have 3 days of celebration in our household that way and we'll have a whole day to celebrate her birth. To be fair she was born one minute after midnight Christmas Day so the hard work was all done on Christmas Eve anyway . I've planned ahead and already purchased her birthday card as the selection of cards does get rather squashed at this time of year by Festive cards.

All it takes is a bit of planning and forethought of people

YANBU.

Mother of two December born children speaking! One is 24th and the other is 26th!

I remember saying to my parents that I didn't want one gift for both, but something small for each day. (same as they do for all other grandchildren)

My father labelled me 'greedy' 'grabby' and 'ungrateful'.. not to my face you understand, no, just to every other person he met... :(

They obviously chose to not hear the part where I said, even inf colouring book was for birthday and crayons for Christmas... It was just to define their days.

I never decorate our kitchen for Christmas until after dd (born on 24th) has her birthday tea.

My SIL is great at separating the two events, one gift in birthday paper and one in Christmas paper.

I have always hated this - DD's birthday is on 14th December. It is such a shit time to have a birthday anyway, what with it being impossible to have a party in the garden a la summer birthdays, and the joint presents mullarkey seems to make it worse.

Mind you, now she is in her late teens, she actively has encouraged joint presents for a few years now, to get more bang for her buck, so to speak. So it can work in their favour when they get older.

But it is shitty when they are younger.

Oh my god fairheaded - birthdays on the 24th and 26th! December must be a very expensive month for you!

My birthday's on the 18th and my parents always went out of their way to ensure separate birthdays, parties, wrapping paper, etc... and as a result, I love the time of year - my birthday, one week later Chrismas, and one more week later NYE - all in the middle of summer and long evening where I live, so just a big season of festivities!

But!! I can totally understand how tight it can be for people at that time of year, and am always delighted if it get a present for each - certainly don't expect it, and resign myself to getting one if I'm lucky. I realise that probably comes across as ridiculously pious and I don't mean it to - I just think getting a pressie at all is lovely and two is a bonus. I guess it helps that I am buoyed up at this time of year anyway - always associate it with Good Things, so additional presents are by the by.

I have full pity for northern hemisphere types who have their birthdays in January after Christmas when everyone's broke, on diets and hibernating from the freezing cold. DS's birthday is the 31st of Jan, and I am pleased to have been able to bring him down 'south' since he was born to be able to celebrate his future birthdays in the sun!

Of course I am a grown up and can rationalise it all in my head - I know it's different for children, and I'm really grateful to my parents for making it a separate deal when I was little.

Its my DD's 1st birthday on christmas day this year. We're getting her two presents (but only small things because I feel its kind of pointless at this age). Its her birthday party in the morning, then christmas after lunch :D Its up to other people what and when they give your child gifts, but I guess (without sounding vulgar) it would be more acceptable to have a joint gift if it is large or of higher value.

My brothers wernt born at christmas but they are twins and HATED getting joint gifts! They want to be seen as individuals, much like I suspect DD will eventually like her birthday and xmas to be celebrated seperately!

My birthday is between Christmas and New Years too, but its never been a thing because thats just how its always been- if that makes sense! As a child I always felt lucky that everyone else would finish Christmas, break all the toys and polish off the turkey and I would still have my own day to look forward to! I've never noticed if someone did wrap in Christmas paper but I know for a fact my wonderful parents never did- they selected special birthday wrappings for my and my two sisters for each of our birthdays (well ok mum did all the selecting!). My day always felt like my day, and now the added bonus is I can always go home for Christmas- I live and work 300 miles from my family, and I always ensure I have the week between Christmas eve and New Years day off. When I lived at home I always worked on my birthday, and often Christmas, NYE and day too.

Joint gifts, I've never noticed any till I was old enough to ask for one. TV at 16, PC at 18, much bigger TV at 20! Though I did notice that some extended family members would get something for my sister's birthdays (Oct and July) and forget mine but I would never have said anything to them or to my parents, that would have upset them that I had noticed, they went to so much trouble (and still do!) to make it my day!

I do and I don't think YABU.

Firstly, who are you referring to. Are we talking about grandparents and your siblings, or friends and acquaintances. With the first, you should just set them straight politely. Look, she is young, she gets upset etc. When she is older she may prefer them to buy her a joint present so she has better quality stuff. As for friends etc. then perhaps you are expecting a bit much. If a friend told me that she would prefer it if I bought her DC presents separately I would probably get really annoyed as it is really close to Xmas and a really busy and expensive time.

I know that this is not what you need to hear, but Xmas is a really expensive time and another present to buy can really sting someone. As a result, unfortunately, the kid often loses out a bit. When I was younger and at Uni I really struggled to buy my nephew a birthday present as it was on the 28th Dec and by that time aI was absolutely broke.

My DD's birthday is a week before Christmas. We have never had this joint present problem, possibly because I have put a lot of effort in telling people about OUR efforts to separate the two occaisions.

When people ask any question about DDs birthday I tell them, "oooh it's a real pain for DD having her birthday at that time of year. We have to go to all sorts of effort to make her birthday separate and special" and "We don't put the Xmas Tree up until after DD's Birthday, so she knows her birthday is special", and so on.

I like guthrirgirl's retort though, I'll use that if necessary.

I've found the online card shops - Hallmark, Moonpig etc - are good for Birthday cards after October as they have a much wider choice than the shops at that time of year. Plus, you get to have the card personalised so it's even mre special.

Wrapping paper is still a pain though.

YANBU. My birthday is in December - 2 weeks before Christmas and then DD arrived a month early and her birthday is 22 December. I really hated it when I was a child having joint presents and am determined to keep them seperate for DD (even though she's only 2 this year!). Christmas tree always used to go up after my birthday and now we've decided to do the same for DD - put them up 23 or Christmas Eve.

It always amazes me that people are rude enough to do this. It really is lazy and so thoughtless to combine the two. I would say that your child gets upset that there is not a separate one or - combine presents for those who do it yourself... Even if their birthday is in July!

Depends on the child and their age IMO

For a baby/child I would say 2 gifts, but as dc get older, the stuff they wnat/need gets a lot more expensive...my dbro's b day is on 20th and as he got older he liked being able to get a large gift rather than 2 small ones.

I kind of see where you're coming from, OP, I have a niece born late in December. I make a point of wrapping her birthday presents in non-Christmas coloured wrapping paper.

I think you're being unreasonable to stipulate what other people buy for your DD and in what format. A bigger present (which close birthdays/Christmas allows for) might be just the thing your DD wants. You're the parent, you plug the 'gaps'. It's a relative's right to indulge family children and to do the 'nice' stuff... it's the parent's job to cover the mundane.

You're not unreasonable to give this thought though and maybe talk about it with your family members (extended, obviously) to see how they feel about it. They might just be doing what they think is best, and actually wouldn't mind falling into step with you. Talk to them. :)

YANBU

YANBU. I too suffered from the curse of the Chrirthday as a child. Now I'm an adult I don't expect presents for either.

My mum used to get really frustrated with her family. I was an only and would get one small present for both, whereas all other family members had at least 2 kids, so my mum was forking out for at least 4 gifts per family.

We also got round it by creating a royal birthday and holding my party on my summer Christening day.

I got around this when DD was 1 by telling family members that it would be great if they could buy clothes for birthday and toys for Christmas etc - only after they asked for ideas etc... then explained that it would be nicer for DD as she was growing up to have separate presents.