Sister and BIL going away without baby (again) - AIBU or not...?

[ariadnethethird]

I can't work out if I am being a bit silly or not so am biting the bullet and asking the MN jury...

My sister and her boyfriend have a lovely 6 month old son and are off this weekend to Centreparcs, but leaving the baby with his grandmother. This is, that I know of, the fifth time they have left him with someone for the weekend, which considering he is 6 months old, seems a lot to me. When I heard they were off to Centreparcs, which is very child friendly (although I do realise the baby is too young for most of it), I actually felt quite sorry for him. My sister said they 'need a break' as they have both been working long hours (and the baby has been farmed out to various grandparents) and taking the baby wouldn't be very relaxing.
So, is it me being unreasonable to think they are being a bit out of order, or is their behaviour perfectly understandable and normal...?

I think they are BVU to go to Center Parcs of their own volition without children That is just not normal.

Well, I don't think that some time away from a primary caregiver with a good replacement like a grandparent/other parent is the end of the world in a six month old's life, especially if the alternative means that the care given at home might not be as nurturing if the primary caregiver is ill, stressed or exhausted. It also helps the child to build up more nurturing caregiver relationships, my DS always wants his mummy, but he has great alternatives there too and a strong relationship with other members of his family.

I agree wishiwere

It's more likely that some people like to convince themselves that Baird will be fine. Babies are sensitive and need to be with their mothers/primary carer.

I remember when a three month old baby started at the nursery my son attended for his pre-school hours - the baby was only three months old and was in full time. I wonder why her parents bothered having her, even the nursery staff admitted to me they thought she was too young. That poor baby - her parents are kidding themselves if they think that is good for her. Little babies need to be with their mums.

It's very well saying little babies need to be with their mums but what about us mums who had no choice but to work? When my DD2 was born, I had to go back to work when she was 6weeks old, my husband was working 50plus hours a week and if I stayed on maternity leave, we would have lost our house, we needed to work to pay the mortgage and the bills.
Thankfully I am in a position now where I do not need to work full time but believe me, although I think the OP is BU, I hated being away from my baby that young, sometimes there is no choice, although I acknowledge this is nit what the thread is about.

My DC's went to alternate grannys every sat night till they were about 6.

I am crying with laughter over the judginess and po-faced holier-than-thou views expressed on this thread. Have shown this thread to my poor, abandoned, unbonded snort, deprived DC's who are also in fits. Am about to phone up MIL and Mum and get them to read this too, they deserve a laugh after their selfless sacrifices over the years

"Why did they bother having a baby?" hahahahahahahahaha you loon!

Priceless, this should be in classics

I have also "farmed out" my youngest today until Sunday and my other two will be "farmed out"tomorrow straight from school.

And it's only been a fortnight since the last farming!

Witch Won't somebody think about the cheeldren?

runningwilde - my baby will be in nursery from 12 weeks old.

Perhaps you think I shouldn't have him?

I work you see - and I can't take a fecking year off to look after him so unless you have a better idea, he will be going to nursery.

Perhaps I should just give him up for adoption instead though given what a "poor baby" he will be

FFS

To the silly bugger who said that leaving your child in childcare for up to 10 hours a day from 3 months is 'damaging' - I presume you are the mother of a very young child and have no real idea.

I will ask dd if she feels 'damaged' by her childhood, which was spent in childcare because I went back to work when she was very young. I think not. She is nearly 16, well balanced, happy, much loved, and in speaking about work and motherhood, she plans to go back to work when she has young children.

It is oh so easy to be judgmental when you haven't any real experience and knowledge.

I am tending to agree with Northernlurker, too.
I guess what gets me is that it doesn't sound like the parents want to spend leisure time with their child. Like they don't enjoy having him around. :(

It's really mean of me to laugh GetOrf....

......but totally irresistible

I would love to see the loons back here once their DC's are 16 AND HAVE NO RECOLLECTION AT ALL of being abandoned or no appreciation whatsoever of Mama's heroic single-handed raising and wished Mum had lightened up and gone out occasionally to get a life

Oh and BTW, my DC voluntarily go to see their GPs at ages 16 and almost 15. They have a wonderful relationship with both sets. The more people who love my children, the better IMO. We are just back from a mass family holiday, was great!

I babysit my 8 month old god daughter overnight once a fortnight. Must tell her parents how they are damaging the baby by leaving her with a family who love and adore her and give her constant undivided attention to allow them to have some time off for shagging. My GD laughs the whole time she's here and sleeps all night, she must be really traumatised!

Utter bollocks ragged

They just want a little break, like we did. Was very thereapeutic, maybe you should try it sometime?

All grandparents/relatives/random fuckers WANT to have babies over night so that they can have all the cuteness and then give them back. So all parents should grab any babysitting opportunities with both hands when they can.

When they get bigger (the babies) no random fucker wants them for the weekend, you try farming out 3 teenagers and a 7 year old.

I must say though that I rarely left dd to go out or go away - because I worked I tended to spend all my spare time with dd, because I wanted to., and plus I didn't have any close family with whom I could leave dd.

But - if people have very close loving families who want to build a close relationship with their niece/grandchild/whatever, that can only be a good thing, surely.

I do see the point however that northernlurker makes, that it is a good thing to try and build leisure time with the baby as much as possible. But - I don't think bandying words like 'damaging' is at all helpful, or rational.

Have just realised, am reading this thread on one tab and flicking through Mr and Mrs Smith on the other looking for a nice Valentines Break for me and DH sans baby who hasn't even arrived yet! He's due in 11 days and I am already planning a dirty weekend away without him

Oh dear.............

If anyone knows why I am even bothering to have him do let me know :)

Surely the phrase 'leisure time with a baby' is an oxymoron

alistron Send them round here. I'm currently feeding 3 teenage boys and 4 teenage girls, another 4 won't make a difference. Do they like Pizza?

catgirl Enjoy your break, sounds great.

Why have kids if you don't want to enjoy your time together? It just isn't making them much part of your life if you don't holiday together (mostly).

alistron Baby Yoga?

10 days out of 182!! 10 days. this isn't all their leisure time!! this is a portion of their leisure time. the majority of their leisure time IS spent with their child. perspective please!!!

Katie my children are obviously traumatised also, my three year old went to nanas this morning to be looked after while I work and promptly told her she was staying for two sleeps!

My kids love spending time with their GPs, the are loved and spoiled and get away with behaviour that I wouldn't allow...is that not what going to grannies/aunties is all about? To b spoiled rotten. My son loves it at nanas..his bed time a home on the weekend is about 9 pm, at nanas? Well I don't even ask because I know I wouldn't approve.

Also me and husband can spend quality time shagging on our marriage.
I do enjoy spending my leisure time with the kids but I also enjoy me time when I am not mum or taxi driver.

I have said it before on this thread and I will say it again...it takes a village to raise a child!

Each to their own though. I know my kids are happy when I am happy, and I get happy by allowing time for me to be me! Would like to add though, don't expect my extended family to take the children. They have always offered. If I need them to due to work etc, I always ask respectfully and would make other arrangements if they could not manage.

Roll on tomorrow night....bubble bath, wine, iPod and no kids :)

Oh I do want to enjoy my time with him ragged - I just don't intend to spend all of my time with him.

Oh I have been on holiday without them too!

Oh ragged, you are deliberately missing the point.

A couple of weekends away THAT YOUR CHILD WILL NOT REMEMBER are good for your relationship and your mental health It does not signify in any way that these parents are not "making them much part of your life".

That does not imply that you will forever take every holiday without your kids either FFS. Saying "why have kids" is just emotive crap and guilt tripping.