'Why don't you get your husband to call us, instead?' - GRRRR

[RevoltingPeasant]

This is what the woman at the membership department of a charity I just joined said to me when I rang up because they had mistakenly listed our membership under HIS name, not mine, despite the fact that I am paying for it.

Why had they done this? - oh, because when the membership lady was filling out our form, she'd automatically put 'Mr' in the box 'because of course it's generally the man of the house who pays' (). I thought she was kidding, but apparently not.... And of course they couldn't fix it unless 'my husband' told them it was okay!

This also comes in a week when, after we bought a wardrobe, the salesman turned to DP despite the fact that I was getting my wallet out. When I pointedly held out my debit card, he took it, saying 'Unusual, very unusual' and then asked DP if he was going to take me out for lunch to make up for it.

AIBU to think the world is full of sexist pigs? Or am I stuck in some weird timewarp where women still need permission to have bank accounts and get egg money once a week Devon ?

Where do you live? 1955?

I remain perplexed at anyone who takes their male counterpart shopping.

Sounds like it Icelollycraving

I know!! The salesman dude actually suggested that DP take me out to a lovely carvery which did 2 for £7.95 (that was worth it just to see the look on DP's face) and THEN tried to sell me a pink wardrobe on the grounds that 'the women love pink, eh'.

For real.

Bloody hell RevoltingPeasant.

Troisgarcons why should men not enter shops? That's a new one [hconfused]

Gosh, I would be seriously re-thinking if I wanted to support a charity that did that.

I have walked out of car show rooms when given that kind of treatment.

I have to say, I have seen LESS of that in the US, which I find odd, as there are generally more SAHM (at least where I live) but the ideal of 'mom' is respected - including her hold over the purse strings.

Any charity who mistakenly listed my DH's title, then refused to fix it unless he rang, would be betting absolutely SWEET FA in the form of money or support from me thereafter.

There was a really good thread a while ago called something like ^You thought sexism was dead". I'll see if I can find it. It was both hilarious and deeply depressing.

how rude

I've been married twice and in 19 years I have never experienced all this 'men first' sexism that a lot of married women on MN experience.

Perhaps I'm just lucky?

Nope, I replaced my car a couple of weeks ago. BIL gave me a lift to collect it. Was hanging round looking at other cars while the paperwork was being sorted, to check all was okay for me to drive the car home. Salesman started completing the DVLA form for vehicle transfer by ticking Mr as the title...then looked at BIL and said 'can I just confirm how you spell [Balls Surname]. BIL looked a bit confused, said 'probably best to ask [Balls] yourself, I've just given her a lift'.

If I hadn't been so desperate to get a bloody car I'd have told him to shove it.

Last week a salesman from one of those Sky Insurance places rang...can I speak to Mr Balls? I reply no one of that name lives here. Salesman 'Oh, sorry, can I speak to the man of the house about insuring his satellite equipment please?' [hangry]. I explained the closest there is to a man in my house is 6 year old DS, who doesn't own any satellite equipment...and that as he'd shown such a blatantly sexist attitude I wasn't interested in him insuring MY Sky system either.

Was at fancy restaurant during the week (10 yr anniversary not normal occurance) I asked to have the somellier come to our table as we would like some wine advice. He came to the table and talked to DH... I asked questions, her replied to DH. I chose wine. Wine came and he poured some for DH to taste and accept. DH only knows red and white - I at least have done some wine tasting in my time... Very irritatinly sexist IMO

Yeah, I did have a moment where I thought I'd cancel the membership, but I've been meaning to support them for ages and thought that just because they have one or two clueless volunteers, it doesn't invalidate the cause.

Jeely are you saying bloody hell to the carvery or the pink wardrobe?

You know what? If I had rung that charity I'd have said that if my husband had to call to fix it he'll be cancelling the bloody thing and setting it up with a charity with a different attitude and then I'd have cancelled the direct debit.

Same with the shop.

I'm not married and I'm sick to death of everyone ticking the Mrs box as a default then getting a withering look when I ask them to change it to Miss - yes MISS none of that Ms crap!

LOL, try buying a car with your DH there. It was all my money, my car, my choice, but the salesman could not address me. Finally when we came to talk about paying for it DH got pissed off, said he was taking DD outside to play and would come back once I had been allowed to deal with it.

In fact when the salesman said DH we should consider finance and how he could explain it all to us and how this would be good for us, DH said 'good luck - she's an accountant'

Oh, and i agree with Batty - i would stop paying into that charity

manti I get that too - actually I am not married to 'my husband', hence the scare quotes, but ever since I've passed 30 I'm 'Mrs' to everyone.

I don't actually use my doctorate outside of work, but I have been SO tempted recently to say 'Actually, that's Dr Peasant'......

Troisgarcons why should men not enter shops? That's a new one

Because they stand, abandoned in aisles, looking bewildered, getting underfoot .... ditto pushchairs, buggies and trollys with wonkey wheels pushed by a demanding 8yo

There really should be dedicated shopping times for peopel who don't like being hindered

Found it. You are not alone!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1033922-Would-you-like-to-play-quot-It-s-like

If it makes you feel you any better a man was talking to my wife today and referred to me as 'her hubby'.

FGS! A man called me a 'hubby'.

Is it sexist twat day today then?

I had a run in with one this am and still soo angry, even thinking about it has me shaking with pure rage again.

My vet addresses all correspondence to dh, vaccination reminders, bills, even the labels on the dog med bottles are mr. Dh has only been in the vets once in ten years when I was at work andit was an emergency whereas I spend so much time there I think I financed their recent extension.

I get Bravissimo catalogues addressed to 'Reverend Manti' I got so pissed off with it all. Should have seen their faces when I bought a sexy underwear set when they asked for my postcode.

Bah the world is still very sexist!

I usually introduce myself by my first name (first name and surname equally unpronounceable in English but first name is shorter!), but when people insist on a title I say "Dr" because that is what I am (PhD not medical, but it took me 10 years to do three degrees so I will bloody well use it!)...the number of people who then write down Dr and Mrs is unbelievable!

DEMON please share, I need someone to vent with :)