'Why don't you get your husband to call us, instead?' - GRRRR

[RevoltingPeasant]

This is what the woman at the membership department of a charity I just joined said to me when I rang up because they had mistakenly listed our membership under HIS name, not mine, despite the fact that I am paying for it.

Why had they done this? - oh, because when the membership lady was filling out our form, she'd automatically put 'Mr' in the box 'because of course it's generally the man of the house who pays' (). I thought she was kidding, but apparently not.... And of course they couldn't fix it unless 'my husband' told them it was okay!

This also comes in a week when, after we bought a wardrobe, the salesman turned to DP despite the fact that I was getting my wallet out. When I pointedly held out my debit card, he took it, saying 'Unusual, very unusual' and then asked DP if he was going to take me out for lunch to make up for it.

AIBU to think the world is full of sexist pigs? Or am I stuck in some weird timewarp where women still need permission to have bank accounts and get egg money once a week Devon ?

we had an issue with an appliance that needing installing and the chap on the phone said to me , "it'll be an easy job for your husband". He KNOWS we are a) not married and b) about as un-handy ish as you can get, him more than me but that lazy assumption is still there.

colken am all agog to hear whether you survived your supermarket odyssey without being attacked by Da Evil Sexist Menz...

MrsTwinks "Its all a conspiracydesigned to give the men all the power, cos its simply so much easier than dealing with all the bloody forms and phonecalls needed otherwise!!!"

Or you could just not change your name

Splinters I was being a bit facetious in that remark... and I probably would have not changed my name had it not been changing from something odd and unpronouceable to something akin to Smith. Got really sick of 25 years of spelling it out EVERY SINGLE SODDING TIME lol!

I married DH but kept my own name, I use MS if I really cannot get away without providing a title but PIL and my folks still send any correspondence to me as MRS DH name! they cannot accept I am my own name. if school ring they say is that MISS stepaway no one seems to accept that you can be married but keep your own name. on a lighter note, if DH and I order a pint and a half pint in a pub it always is the half that is put in front of me, once when I swapped it round in an obvious manner the bar staff said ' oh I would have put it in a ladies glass if I had known it was for you'

Well, I'm back. I left home and had to turn round at the end of the road because I'd forgotten my shopping list.

I reached the checkout at Asda and was greeted with Hello Darlin'. It was Darlin' a few times and at the end I asked if everyone was called Darlin'. Finally, the girl called me Madam.

Sorry to disappoint you all.

oh, i bloody hate ladies' glasses! not only are they cumbersome and crap, they also make you look like a twat. [urgh]

@ nickelbabe yep I agree, why is it sooo bad for a 'girly' to drink pints!

stepawayfromtheecclescakes

Because it's unladylike.

Yup Im an architect working for a construction company and sexism is well and truly alive and kicking today- esp in construction!
I regularly get work post for "Mr Surname" instead of Ms, and I know full well that clients are disappointed that I'm not a man when I turn up on site!
I've endured a lot of slack from colleagues about being pregnant and they all assume you're having a hormonal day and don't come to you with work.
Still on the plus side, one of them changed my Tyre for me the other day and filled the car up with oil just because I was a girl. I don't think I've ever paid for lunch and they always offer to carry my kit to the car- so Its a double edged sword! There are benefits as well as costs!

colken snort 'unladylike' a big glass is 'unladylike' snort

Oroski123
"...one of them changed my Tyre for me the other day and filled the car up with oil just because I was a girl. I don't think I've ever paid for lunch and they always offer to carry my kit to the car..."

I am shocked and appalled at the sexist assumptions and behaviour you describe. It should be stamped out.

PigletJohn, I agree, it should be. But I also think that stamping out sexism is a progression, much like racism, ageism etc. Every decade things move on slightly more and eventually there might actually be equality.

I had a run in with a cold caller on the phone just over a week ago. The same company had made several calls to our home asking to speak to Mr. Isla or "the man of the house" (grr! hate that expression) about "the car accident he had 3 weeks ago". As he had not had a car accident I had just said "No thanks" and hung up on all the other occasions. This time I explained in words of one syllable that DH had not had a car accident for many, many years. He then said "Are you his lady wife?" ( grr! hate that expression too). I snapped back "I am Mrs. Isla and I do not drive so not had accident either. He said he would phone back when DH was in as perhaps "he did not tell me about the accident" at which point I completely lost it and told him not to phone our number ever again, asked him which part of "not had a car accident" he had not understood and then said "and you can now hang up and stick your head up your a*se". I am not a regular user of nasty language but i was just so fed up with his patronising attitude. Did work though as we have heard no more from this particular company! I know cold calling is a job like any other and feel sorry for those that have to do it but we get about half a dozen calls a day where I live and I do get fed up with it. Usually just hang up without saying anything though it was just that this particular firm had been so persistent and the bloke was so sexist.

Think I might make my standard reply to cold callers "Bog off and go and stick your head up your arse" from now on.

lol brilliant x

I'm a software developer, have been for 12+ years. I used to go to casual developer meets in pubs quite often, in my late 20s. I can't begin to tell you how many times other developers (often younger than me) would assume I was the girlfriend of one of the other attendees, and more than that - if I said I was a developer too they would then CHALLENGE me to "prove" I was really a developer by asking me puzzle-type questions etc. I NEVER heard a male attendee at one of these meets get "challenged" on whether or not they were really a developer.

These days (I'm mid-30s now) I only go to organised conferences or ladies-only pub meets. I just can't be bothered with the 24-year-old young yahoos who think I need to "prove" to them that I really can program. Sheesh.

One upside of being a lady in this industry is that there is NEVER a queue for the ladies' loos at conferences, but there's always one for the men's

"PigletJohn, I agree, it should be. But I also think that stamping out sexism is a progression, much like racism, ageism etc. Every decade things move on slightly more and eventually there might actually be equality."

I intend to make a start by never paying for a woman's lunch, and never carrying anything for her. I will try to get a woman to change the oil in my car.

DP is whinging already. Women, eh?

I called up to cancel an insurance renewal yesterday, because the price had gone up and I had the same cover from elsewhere. But when the clearly-bored call centre guy asked if there was any other reason why I wanted to cancel, I said "Well as you mention it, addressing your letter to 'Dear Sirs' isn't the best idea if you want my business!" He was shocked and agreed, so I added "Probably because it's addressed to Dr CitrusBloke and Dr NotCitrus... this is the 21st century and women are allowed to be doctors you know!"

Bloke was amused while trying to be embarrassed on company's behalf, asked who sent the letter, and when I read out [name], Customer Services Director, was clearly looking forward to telling his boss's boss that he was a total twonk losing the company business...

Roll of drums please..............our mortgage statements are in the name of "Mrs Red wine and Mr Red wine". Not sure if this is because I completed the application forms or because the first letter of my first name is earlier in the alphabet. Either way, I think it's good they do it that way, instead of automatically putting my DH first.