Mumsnet Talk

I have a gem: I'm sorting out the home insurance renewal but since the last policy I have taken redundancy and I'm going back to do a postgraduate course. Which I told them.

They now have my occupation listed as "housewife" which is pretty yuk, but under employer's business it say "domestic service".

Presumably my husband is my employer and I spend my time in servitude to him?

Any one more?

Gosh apologies for typos

Well MIL keeps asking whether I'm planning to go part time at work now I have DCs. I said "<DH> doesn't want to either" to which the reply was "Oh he's happy for you to work part time too?"

Snort.

At work this week, a well-liked colleague (younger than me) mentioned that when writing to a woman he doesn't know, he automatically defaults to using Mrs Husband'sfirstname Husband'ssurname. He was then surprised at mine and my colleagues' disgust, and went on to say that he 'didn't like' Ms and couldn't understand women who used it.

and....

When trying to get an appointment at my GPs surgery... I work full time with a long commute at either end of the day so was requesting an early or a late appointment. They kept trying to give me 10.30 or 2.30 etc which effectively wipes out a morning or an afternoon for me. I was complaining so ...the receptionist then told me that they are open on Weds evenings but those slots are kept specifically for gentlemen who can't get away from the office.....

YY keep them coming.

I have been known to return mail that is addressed to Mrs <husband's first name/initial> <husband's surname> because it is rude

SPB did you ever get your Dh's permission

LMAO at "gentlemen who can't get away from the office". Where do you live? The 1950s?

djinnie No way!

djinnie: .

Things like this often annoy me, but this is the first time I've seen one that made be gasp in shock. Ridiculous.

Guffaw marchpane Feels like it!

Not a specific incident but I'm surprised at the amount of times I hear the term 'man and wife' in general conversation.

My friend who thought it was cool to buy her husband a lap dance for his birthday at the club she had gone to with him.

i meant full time, very tired today
My MIL is lovely so I feel like I'm picking on her but another was when I started a course when DS was little

"I don't know how you do it, working full time, course, child, house and husband"

OK the FT working and course are mine to bear, the child is forgiven because he's lovely, but running the house is a joint venture, and I rarely have to look after DH

DH phsl when he heard that one

Friend whose FB status the other day read something like, "On [daytime TV show, can't remember which] there is a MAN showing a WOMAN how to make a quiche. She should hang her head in shame!!!" And yes, it was a female friend.

I do get sick of being asked 'how do you manage with a fulltime job and a child?' - well, my DH does exactly the same thing and no one ever asks him how he is 'coping' and whether he wouldn't be happier working a 3 day a week... I get asked a variation of this question most weeks and it does grate.

My MIL writes to me as Mrs [DH's initial] Surname

Also reposting 2 posts I made on the women drivers thread:

'On that subject, a while ago I took a bunch of colleagues on a trip in a Ford Torneo (basically a Transit with seats) and was completely fine. We went to park up and there was just one narrow space, which was fine, I don't even mention it, but as I paused to get my bearings 2 of the men jumped out an ostentatiously started flapping their arms about trying to guide me in. I was furious! If I'd wanted help I would have asked for it, and I could barely even see them in the mirrors, the idiots, because if I could have done I would have been aiming squarely for them grin. I bet they'd never have made such a fuss if a man was driving. Besides which I was driving as most of my colleagues, including one of the idiots 'directing me' were to young to have such a big hire car!'

and:

'I was having a conversation with a male friend and mentioned that I was driving which went like this:

Male friend: What, you were driving, when DH was in the car?
Me: hmm Um yeah? Why
MF: Oh I just though DH would be driving
Me: Why? Because I am girl?
MF: No no, I just thought whoever liked driving the most would be doing the driving.
Me: And why wouldn't I be the one who enjoys driving the most? hmm
MF: <sinks into seat under my gaze>'

I ranted about this on here at the time, but when I was in late pregnancy and trying to get life assurance for me and DP (and, it is blindingly obvious in retrospect, on an extra short fuse due to unarticulated fears of dying in childbirth and leaving newborn dd in the care of a single, penniless DP) I went mental because TWO that I applied for, successively, sent all the paperwork to DP instead of me because he is a Man and capable of Financial Decisions.
The second people changed it after I flipped out on the phone. Three times.
One of the really annoying things about it was that they didn't see what the problem was, as surely I could just see their logo on the envelope and open his post? No, I don't open other people's post. Jointly addressed, yes, addressed singly to someone not me, no. In fact isn't it illegal?

and yes shocked at the gentlemen's hours
These will be the ones who come home (either straight from the office or from their reserved GP appointment) to find their DC in bed, home cooked meal on the table and their wife in a new outfit with perfect hair and make up.

We are looking after DH's elderly grandmother over the weekend.

MIL keeps phoning me with instructions and interrupting my work. It wouldn't even occur to her to phone DH even though the subject is his grandmother and the person who wants to talk about it is his mother.

The reverse situation would just never happen.

yes that's exactly it novicemama - that was the point I was trying to make to her that DH didn't want to go PT either - didn't really do it very well though.

Oh and my MIL always exclaims to me about DH 'Aren't you feeding him properly?'

People (my mother) are always stunned when I drive with DH in the car. I think it breaks some fundamental law of wimmin for them.

My Mum is also full of scorn for my housekeeping skills but never says anything to DH. We both work FT, and in fact as of next week I'll work much longer hours than him.

I also have a lot of 'what are you cooking DH for his dinner' type conversations with her.

I think she is firmly rooted in 1950 something.

Having a conversation with a hitherto-normal seeming colleague:

Him: [Colleague who's getting married] is so excited about becoming Mrs Fiance'sname!

Me: Really? I wouldn't want to change my name.

Him: <huffy> Well, if I was marrying someone who wouldn't change her name, I would take it as a massive insult. How do I know she really loves me if she won't change her name? It's offensive!

I've had the financial ones too where I do all the leg work - even completing forms online with me as the first person and dh as spouse to find the whole lot then addressed to him.

On the up side - I didn't take his name and he gets addressed as Mr {my surname} more often than I get called Mrs {his surname} because I sorted all the bills when we moved house.

Actually DH woudl have been offended if I didn't take his name (not that it would have been a deal breaker). Not because of any ownership issues but just that it's not the norm. It would have hurt his feelings and it wasn't that much of an issue for me, so I changed.