'Why don't you get your husband to call us, instead?' - GRRRR

[RevoltingPeasant]

This is what the woman at the membership department of a charity I just joined said to me when I rang up because they had mistakenly listed our membership under HIS name, not mine, despite the fact that I am paying for it.

Why had they done this? - oh, because when the membership lady was filling out our form, she'd automatically put 'Mr' in the box 'because of course it's generally the man of the house who pays' (). I thought she was kidding, but apparently not.... And of course they couldn't fix it unless 'my husband' told them it was okay!

This also comes in a week when, after we bought a wardrobe, the salesman turned to DP despite the fact that I was getting my wallet out. When I pointedly held out my debit card, he took it, saying 'Unusual, very unusual' and then asked DP if he was going to take me out for lunch to make up for it.

AIBU to think the world is full of sexist pigs? Or am I stuck in some weird timewarp where women still need permission to have bank accounts and get egg money once a week Devon ?

Further, the ones that annoy me most are the ones (and you know who you are) that get taken on the weekly shop. 10am on a Tuesday isa particular favourite. I have no idea why it should be significant, but it is. You try it. In the supermarket, they schoolers have been dropped off, husband in charge of trolly navigation, wife on a supermarket sweek, two toddlers covered in frozen chickens, then comes the till, Oh god the till. Husband is despatched to the other end frequently looking a bit gormless as the frustrated wife then packs the groceries properly.

Then.

He pays.

He pays because clearly she isn't trusted to be allowed out alone or with money.

I've been lucky. Dh recently went to buy a car, and he wasn't even, just seeing how much wed get to trade his in, but the sales man made sure to address us both and checked all decisions dh made with me. Unfortunately I looked bored, and at one point considered tugging at dh's sleeve and asking if I could sit in the car :o we also went to a restaurant recently where they poured wine for us both to try, as standard. Up here in the north east, we have equality!

Revolting peasant - had the same thing yesterday. We are trying to change LPG supplier - i have been emailing them, and contacting our old supplier. Rang them yesterday and person i needed was busy -asked me my name - Dr Loshad, and said he would ring back.
when chap rang back his opening sentence was " Hello Mrs Loshad, do i need to be speaking to your DH about this" [annoyed]
If they weren't nearly half the price of our current supplier i would have told him to stick his gas pipe up his arse.
Had to content myself with replying icly "no i think i can manage"
grrr

How do you cover a toddler in frozen chickens? Stick them on their heads?

Although when trying to send a gift to a couple friends who had just had a baby I was perplexed by the m&s site as it had Dr, Mr ,Mrs, ms, miss, Mr & Mrs but no Dr & Dr which is what we needed! In fairness they didnt have Dr & Mrs either.

@ revolting

How do you cover a toddler in frozen chickens? Stick them on their heads?

You don't get out enough! you must go and witness this for your self. they always put the children in the trolly - not in the seats but in the trolly - where they slowly get buried by frozen foodstuff.

I think it's cos I mostly shop in M&S where it's generally old people in motability scooters slowly burying themselves under 2 for 1 Extra Gooey Treacle Tarts and wholegrain bloomers.

I think it might be some secret stun device - par freeze the kids and they cant run riot up the cocoa pops aisle.

I shall ponder the merits of that should anyone ever let me loose with toddlers again

Refer to a recent thread of mine where the mechanic asked me if I was a dumb blonde.
I told him that no I wasn't a dumb blonde and I was in fact paying his wages that day.

I think I might know that charity. We have joint membership but for some reason they have him as the primary member and me as a secondary one. I tried to change it this year because he is a student and they get no gift aid from him. They wouldn't let me alter the order if our names without his consent. Since he couldn't be arsed to phone them, they did without the extra money.

I have also found though that when our son was in hospital, most of the medical staff talked to me not DH. The only thing I do for DS that DH doesn't is breastfeed. Otherwise we parent equally.

We are on a family holiday. Every day, while chatting to other folk on the resort, someone has asked when DD's father will be arriving.
Every. Day.
Even DD has got sick of this, and has started answering rudely "I dunno, ask my two mummies".

Oh yes. I bought a house. All on my own - wow! I arranged for double glazing quotes. Each and everyone of them - bar one - asked when my "husband" would be home as they obviously needed to persuade this fictional person to spend money with their firm.

The one who never asked got the job but I wasn't immune from as after their first day they asked for my hoover. And I didn't have one.

My OH and me have joint memebership to English Heritage. It is in both our different surnames. The bank account that the yearly DD comes out of is a joint bank account with both our different names. I rang up this year to change the bank account that it was paid out of to be told that because only OH's name is on their system for the payment details he would have to ring up to change the details.
I pointed out that the bank account was a joint account but was informed that because their system wouldn't allow long bank account names on it ie Mr Alpha and Miss Beta only short names that I could not change the payment details.
If it had not have been for the fact that we get cheap days out with English Heritage (we have 5 children) I would have told them to stick the membership up their backside and then would have got OH to ring and tell them to stick it up their backside ( except he wouldn't have been as polite as that!)

WARNING: this is long but you did ask!

OH is on some quite hefty meds, (cardiac condition)that he cannot be without, so we set up one of the prescription repeat things with one of the large supermarkets, only there seems to be a problem with their system as they have lost/mislaid OHs drugs or prescription for the last 3 months in a row.
I am quite an assertive person, but also I see no point in having a go at some poor person working on a till who?s getting just above min wage. So Weds I went in to get his meds and again an issue, I was clearly annoyed, and had already decided to speak to a customer services manager on my way out but had not intended to say anything to them. Was very polite, believe there is no point in getting ranty etc.

However there were 2 assistants one was very helpful her colleague extremely rude. As Helpful lady was searching and checking and doing what she could lady 2 was making comments like well I don?t see what the issues is. Well you?ll just have to come back tomorrow. It?s not like it?s our fault, interrupting helpful lady and at one point telling her to stop apologising. She made one more ?well you?ll have to sort it out tomorrow, and I said with a tight smile, I cannot come back tomorrow. Her reply well you?ll just have if it?s as important as you claim.

At this point a voice floats out from the behind the shelves, with a comment of tell her she?ll just have to come back. I asked if that was the manager told no it was the locum pharmacist, and politely asked did he have OH?s pills, no well then keep out of it, I would speak to customer services.

Spoke to Customer services manager who was lovely, and is dealing with the complaint as I asked (as I said I believe that there?s a problem with their system rather than anything else), getting in touch as asked etc, just great.

Go in today to get meds, first time we could get back, go to the pharmacy (was actually in a great mood till then) the Pharmacist took it on himself to tell me off for making the complaint on the Weds.

Actually called me young lady FFS I?m nearly 40, I was polite and said my complaint was not about the individuals in the pharmacy but about the system, and as customer services were dealing with it I was not prepared to discuss it with him.

He kept chuntering on and on and on.

Other shoppers actually started to do that I?m not listening I?m actually really interested in this piles cream really!

He started to tell me about how important it was for me to fill the prescriptions in time and did I not realise how important these meds were, and that I need to keep on top of it, and then a second young lady
?Do you realise young lady how important it is for your husband for you to keep on top of all of this you clearly be more organised?
(Bear in mind this is less than a minute after 'telling me off' for making a complaint about their system losing the bloody drugs and/or prescription)

At this point my brain exploded blood brains everywhere [hgrin]

Seriously, though I sniggered at him, and walked off.

And went straight to Customer Services and complained, well rather extended my complaint. Again lovely person who dealt with it beautiful and is going to follow up etc .

Young Lady. . my arse!
shithead

Gay My mum is gay too, so I've had those conversations.

lemmings Yeah, it was quite satisfying when DP eventually did ring up - he works in charity himself - and pointed out that they were illegally crediting him with the gift aid when I was the one paying it, and they could be audited for that.

The breadwinner thing rings a bell Luny - I earn about £15k a year more than DP so I am mostly just amused at assumptions that I am the Little Woman out for the day with her pocket money....

Aaaaaaaaaaaah young lady!!! That does justify the rage.

It reminds me of when I first went to university - it was a previously all-male institution - and the tutor said, 'Ah, a young lady - I remember when we didn't let you lot in here!'

Happens all the fucking time.
I went to pay for MY new car using MY debit card and salesman said "does your husband mind if it's registered in your name"

I kicked him in the shins hard (not really but I wanted to).

It is still a very sexist place out there, I tell you.

My DH is a staunch feminist and he's fucking appalled at some of the gems I've been presented with, car salesman guy example there is actually one of the least offensive.

Ps: OH is not my husband, he's my Loverrrrrr..[hgrin].

Seriously though the only reason I was picking up pills was 'cause OH is working silly hours at the moment, as am I, just mine made it easier for me to pick up pills.

Between the assumption that he had the right to tell me off, the calling me young lady, and that it was up to me to sort out OH's pills, I did have to check that I wasn't in an 18hour girdle and in the 1950's

I don't experience this kind of thing at all. I must be very lucky. People are either polite or rude but not sexist and if they were, I'd just vote with my feet and walk away.

I answered the phone once to someone asking for DH.

He's not here, sez me, can I help, I'm his wife.

Oh no dear, sez patronising woman, I need to speak to the man of the house. When will he be back?

In about 4 months, sez me, hanging up phone.

I still don't know who was calling and why. Also I wonder if patronising cow wasted any brain time wondering where my DH was for 4 months. He was actually away at sea, but I imagine she thought he was in prison or something!

How depressing.

Last year some bloke ran in to my car at a junction near my house, he followed me home we swapped details etc. he rang me on the next Monday and said, 'now then, has hubby decided what he wants to do about the car?'!!! After a stunned silence I explained that as it was my sodding car I would go thru my insurance, he then offered me £100 - the insurance wrote the car off and gave me £700 - knobber.

Ha ha revoltingpeasant I had a similar comment once from a uni tutor who followed it with: 'Some people here still don't think women should be allowed in'. Some people? Or you? It was the 1990's!

If a salesman whom I have requested to come over and quote me for something dares ask for my husband I usually just laugh and say 'why would you want to speak to him about it?'. Never give up! The man who came about having the trees/hedge cut seemed most put out at having to deal with a lady person.

I had a similar problem!! I had a life insurance policy for years, decided to add DP to it. Phoned up told them I wanted to insure him too, filled in the paper work. Still came out my bank etc.

got the confirmation through addressed to "mr Signet" And his name was the policy holder name!!!!

I phoned up and said Im sorry there is a problem, he is not the policy holder, nor should the policy information to be addressed to him as its MY policy.

I was told that the man is always the first name, I said well Im sorry, but its my policy it comes out of my bank so Id prefer it to be addressed to me. He said "oh your husband is the main earner so he automatically takes place as the policy holder" I replied "no actually my partner is not the main earner, I am, It's my policy, paid out of my bank. He is simply insured as a SECOND person on my insurance.

Apparently its tough.

If i didnt have so much trouble getting life insurance in the first place I would have left there and then!
It still angers me!