Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think a 14 year old can share sweets

184 replies

GoodAndBluts · 23/10/2011 15:13

My 14 year old step sister visited today with my mum and step dad. Usually we visit when she is at theirs, but today I am not well so they came here.

She had a big bag of apple laces, which she sat and ate a few herself. My DC, 8, 6 and 2 asked if they could have one and she said "no they are mine" and refused to share. Even when the 2 year old had a tantrum and my 6 year old (with SN) cried. They stayed for 2 hours and she kept the almost full packet right next to her leg with her hand over them. Occasionally my DC (the youngest two anyway) asking if they could have one, each time the answer was no and each time they were unhappy about it. The 2 year old in the end swapped his twirl that he got off my mum for one apple lace.

She is usually a thoughtful girl, I just thought this was quite selfish of her, especially as she had loads of them! She could have at least offered them one each. Sharing doesn't bother me with young children, but honestly, at 14 you should share the mass of sweets you have!

OP posts:
lillypie · 23/10/2011 16:40

My boys at 14 would not have tormented small children by not sharing.
I would have told her to put them away until she was at home.

I would definitely not have let her get away with it all day.

Eyelasher · 23/10/2011 16:41

No. The lack of empathy. Vair odd.

Eyelasher · 23/10/2011 16:41

Id not leave her alone with kittens tbh ;)

GuillotinedMaryLacey · 23/10/2011 16:44

Well, she could have shared but you could have stopped your children going on about it, especially as, if your 2yo had a twirl then they had their own sweets anyway. Kids nagging at me for things after they've been told no makes me more inclined to keep saying no anyway, no matter what it is. Maybe she had had enough of them going on and was digging her heels in?

SixtyFootDoll · 23/10/2011 16:50

Maybe she harbours some deep seated resentment to you OP , and is now taking it out on your children.

zest01 · 23/10/2011 16:53

Your home, your rules surely? I would have said in this house we either share sweets or we save them to eat on our own later and if she didn't want to share I would have made her put them away.

I am quite a stickler for my house my rules - I do get a few raised eyebrows when I explained to LO's friends that in our house we must sit down to eat sweets/biscuits etc when they wander around with them but there you go!

SaffronCake · 23/10/2011 16:54
Biscuit

I'm riveted. Psychopaths, kittens, oh yes, this is better than Eastenders. Grin

LoveInAColdGrave · 23/10/2011 16:55

14 is definitely old enough to be a bitch! God, do you lot not remember school?

Not sharing sweets, especially with weeping children, is pretty horrible behaviour.

LineRunner · 23/10/2011 16:58

But the Not Sharing Sweets With Weeping Children was enabled by all the adults present being random.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 23/10/2011 17:04

They were hers. It would've been nice of her to share, but she wanted them all to herself.

I wouldn't share my sweets with anyone if they threw a hissy fit tbh. To do so wouldn't really be sharing - it'd be a kind mugging by tiny sweet-crazed assailants.

She should've put them away though.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 23/10/2011 17:05

kind of mugging. By means of emotional blackmail.

usualsuspect · 23/10/2011 17:06

Won't somebody think of the weeping children

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 23/10/2011 17:08

Grin suspect

rhondajean · 23/10/2011 17:10

What part of they were HER sweets are you lot not getting?

Shes had a rubbish day. Shes at her dads for the weekend, shes been made to go see someone who is ill with 3 kids that are too young for her to have anything in common with, shes been given a bag of sweets, the other kids have been given their own sweets (the twirls) and she has to sit there for two hours while they whine at her to give up some of hers.

Any you accuse HER of lacking empathy?

It would have been better manners for her to have offered a sweet, but it was APPALLING manners for the children to ask for them.

As for not allowed them till she leaves the house - ffs! And you lot deciding that she should be forced to share out HER stuff somehow makes the girl a psycopath?

I drive an average car but my neighbour has a nice Audi A5, I dont have one, but he drives past me every day in it, and never offers me to share it, the psycopath.

usualsuspect · 23/10/2011 17:12

Mn is bonkers today

pigletmania · 23/10/2011 17:12

You are so not being unreasonable, what a selfish girl. I agree she does not sound very nice, I would have told her that it was nice to share and that she should set a good example.

diddl · 23/10/2011 17:12

"They were hers. It would've been nice of her to share, but she wanted them all to herself."

Then she should have left them at home for later.

But I am really surprised that no one said anything to her.

Maybe that´s why she has such an attitude?

SaffronCake · 23/10/2011 17:14

RhondaJean mine is worse. She has a son. A SON! I haven't got a son. I want a son. She never even offers to share! She's probably a member of the Nazi party.

birdsofshoreandsea · 23/10/2011 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner · 23/10/2011 17:15

I want to know more about the Twirls.

rhondajean · 23/10/2011 17:16

Oh what a complete cow Saffron! Topped only by mines across the way who has TWO sons. Though I did hear her saying something at the school gates about me being a bitch - having two daughters and keeping them all to myself.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 23/10/2011 17:17

I want to know why the girls Mother didn't intervene! Did she REALLY jut sit there? I would have had a word if my Mothers DD did that!

LineRunner · 23/10/2011 17:17

Because a Twirl costs 70p and an apple lace only costs 10p max.

pigletmania · 23/10/2011 17:17

Next time I would say like the other poster, "in this house we share, if you don't want to could you please put them away" OP 6 year old has SN and does not understand, and the other is only 2 fgs. It would be rude of an adult to come into a house, open sweets or whatever and not share, its what we teach our kids when we are young, to be kind, considerate and to share.

noddyholder · 23/10/2011 17:19

None of this matters Grin Don't you remember being 14 ? I was a right madam when it suited me